Not Quite Fascinating

G: I found a shirt for Bob’s Dog: http://tinyurl.com/yadvozr
J: that is the perfect shirt for Bob’s Dog.
J: except it is his smelly ass!
G: Whatever
G: WE were all LOLing at some of those

J: Kitty just got something off the tree…
G: we put ours up today
G: so far I’m the only one that’s broken something
G: but we have these little light covers that pop off
G: and they’ve had one of those going nuts with it
J: ugh oh… Bob’s had enough. he’s crawling under the tree to get her…
G: LOL
G: we made the best soup for dinner tonight–Buffalo chicken! MmmmmmMMmmmmmMMmm
J: mmm… that sounds good! what all is in it?
G: buffalos…….
G: LOL, I crack myself up
G: chicken, milk, blue cheese,
G: celery
G: mozzarella cheese
G: parmesan cheese
G: and then the Frank’s Hot Sauce
J: MMMMM
G: oh and flour & chicken broth
G: we ate it all or I’d eat more right now, even though I’m still stuffed!
J: Bob is already snoring and it’s already on my nerves!

J: do you ever watch Tabitha’s Salon Takeover?
G: no, i never can catch it
J: i love it. she’s a biatch but these people need it!
G: I see tons of commercials during my other dumb shows
J: this guy has a plastic penis in his station!
J: he calls it “the bitch tamer” and tells women to take it into the bathroom with them while they are changing.
J: and this is the owner!
G: nice

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J: Happy Thanksgiving!
G: hey! you too
J: what are you up to?
G: Boy2 & I are in bed watching Vacation
J: how fun. we’re watching football. as we have done all day long
J: i just put up my tree.
J: Kitty has taken one ball off.
J: she’s so naughty.

J: so are you going to wal mart at 5 in the morning?
G: not if the whole store was free
J: lord me either.
J: there’s a couple of things i want at target, but not enough to go so early.

G: So my mom had on the dog show today
G: she wasn’t really even watching but it was on the entire time.
G: and as soon as the black & white border collie came close up on the screen her dog barked & barked & barked. She never made a peep over all the other dogs, but she saw Dog on TV and flipped
J: LOL!!!
J: that’s hilarious!
G: isn’t that funny? And we think my mom’s dog is dumb
J: see, she’s smarter than you think!
G: I did kind of get her to SIT today
G: my mom thinks you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. And she’s so ill mannered
J: maybe she & Kitty can go to obedience school together
G: yeah, good luck with that

G: my brother downloaded Skype and told us to so we Skyped with him &[his fiancé] in [far away state] tonight
G: it was kinda cool
G: except Boy2 is ON
G: and sees himself in the little screen
G: and we had to use a mic, mic because we didn’t have a computer mic (or couldn’t find the one we had once upon a time)
J: oh lord! i’m sure he entertained them!
G: he ended it all by singing “Haven’t Met You Yet”
J: LOL!
G: which I was called a brainwasher but I swear I’ve never made him listen to that song once
J: yeah, sure…
J: i am so tired. i have been up since 7 and haven’t been just lounging around like someone i know…
G: I was tired earlier but I got my 2nd wind
J: someone farted and they are blaming it on Kitty.
J: i think it was Bob’s Dog
G: Boy2 blamed one on Cat1 earlier

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J: so, will i be sceered at Christmas Carol?
G: LOL
G: maybe
G: Boy2 says yes, you would
J: well if he says i would then i’m sure i will!
G: We’re doing ornaments part II
G: they were due today but you know, Boy2 has connections at the museum
J: of course he does. and even if he didn’t i’m sure he could schmooze his way in
G: We’re watching that Wild Hogs. We’ve never seen it.
G: I find it strange hearing Tim Allen calling this guy Woody all the time.
J: i’ve never seen it either. is it good?
G: eh, so far it’s ok.
G: it’s something we can all 4 watch
J: that’s hard to find.
G: definitely
J: Bob & daddy are watching something in the living room and mom & i are watching The Proposal in bed.
G: So you know Forever21 has the policy of no refunds/exchanges on the accessories?
G: well that’s fun!
J: oh! i saw [local/famous Reality TV star] at Sams. I was excited and my parents had no idea who she was!
J: Yes, i know that policy
G: LOL!!!!!!
G: and WTH is wrong with them??????
G: I mean you know, I don’t get local TV……I know who they are!
J: after i explained it to mom she knew who she was but daddy was clueless.
G: okay, well I got a necklace last week…..and it was broken when I took it out of the plastic!!
G: and the store won’t refund it. I’m contacting customer support……
G: online…..we’ll see what happens. We may have to boycott.
J: are you serious? well that’s like that time they wouldn’t exchange my sweater that had a hole in it because i had taken the tag off!
G: Well……I get it…..she thought it *should* be refunded. She just couldn’t.
G: they also sent me 2 of 1 shirt
G: and I was charged for it.
J: and of course they won’t refund your money… only give you store credit.
J: which is no big deal but it’s the principle of the matter!
G: yeah, which okay…….I found a sweater dress
G: exactly
J: ahhh… there’s your boyfriend playing in the background…
J: my mom is snorting she’s laughing so hard!
G: LOL
J: i greatly dislike Adam Lambert.
G: yeah…….I’m not a fan
G: I heard him on Ryan Seacrest today and he really turned me off
G: how it was okay for him to act like that because it was “late at night”
G: well not really…..not that late.
G: and how women get away with it all the time
G: well yeah, ONE KISS
G: not ALL the things…..he did a LOT of things
G: “Janet Jackson grabbed herself”
J: yeah, he did it all in one performance!
G: exactly
G: Boy1 told me he needed his phone
G: “I have to shave”
G: what does the phone have to do with shaving?
G: so he came back 4 minutes later, “here’s the shaving cream I’m using”
G: what?
G: “Didn’t you ask me what shaving cream I was using?”
G: no, I asked you what the phone had to do with shaving!!!!!
J: LOL!!!!
J: i can’t believe he’s shaving!
G: LOL
G: not often, but he does need it
J: brrr! it’s cold in my house!
G: it’s supposed to get really cold tonight

G: http://cache.gawker.com/assets/images/4/2009/11/500x_darlene.jpg
J: LOL. i’ve been there!
G: I know, totally
J: kitty is playing in her kitty cube and she has rolled it from the middle of the living room to the wall and she can’t get it to go any further.
J: now she’s found a ball and she got in the cube and rolled over on top of it while trying to get it.
J: guess you had to be here
G: LOL

G: I really need to take a bath
G: but I’m really tired
G: I’ll be mad at myself in the morning if I don’t do it.
J: i nearly didn’t take one last night because i was afraid i’d fall asleep!
G: well, I feel like that
G: I’ve felt like that all day
G: but I got a headache and even with Advil it wasn’t helping so I had some caffeine
G: so I know if I lay do’nt I won’t go right to sleep. I took a Tylenol PM a few minutes ago.

G: I”m a bad mother
G: Boy2 wanted to sleep on the floor of our bedroom
G: which is another reason not to take a bath because he’ll never get to sleep while I”m putzing around
G: and I threw Cat1’s fetch toy and she went flying off the bed after it, and landed on his head
G: so then I’m seeing if he’s okay and he was sitting up and I moved his pillow as he laid backwards on the floor and slammed his head onto the ground thinking his pillow was there.
J: ouch!
J: O
J: M
J: G!!!
G: WHAT??????
J: My dad knows who Adam Lambert is!!!!!!!!!!
G: ROFL
G: and not [Famous Reality TV Star] !!!!!!??????
G: one of them is a good Christian!
J: my mom & i were talking about his GMA show being cancelled and he said, “Yeah, he’s a fag!” LMAO!!!!
G: LOL
J: i have never heard my dad say that word!
J: he needs to hurry up and get another church. i think he’s losing it!
G: I think so
J: Bob’s Dog has got some serious gas and it’s killing me!
G: ick

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J: hey!
G: hi
J: whatcha doin?
G: well, the museum is doing an ornament contest
G: so Boy2 wanted to do one
G: and I had a good idea for one………
G: and then I realized it wasn’t possible
G: so I had plan B
G: and Boy2 is still trying to do Plan A
G: and we’re having a stubborn contest
J: hmmm… imagine that [town]
G: Boy2 says, “I’m just a child”
J: LOL!

J: so did ya’ll decide to go to tomorrow?
G: yes, I think so
J: are you gonna see a movie?
G: yeah
G: I still don’t know what
J: i would totally recommend Blindside. it is so good.
J: i would think that the boys would like it as well
G: Boy2–Mr. Football–has little interest
J: oh, so i am soooo not happy… on my channel for HIMYM, there was music and the laugh track but no voices. this is the second time this season that has happened.
G: oh man
G: I remember
J: i want a new bedroom suite so bad but they are so expensive!
G: okay, that fun project is done
G: Boy1 has been asleep since we started talking……at least
G: I think he probably took a Tylenol PM at 6 instead of Advil.
J: i am so light headed for some reason
G: Boy2 wants to stay up and watch Big Bang Theory b/c he never gets to watch it anymore
G: but I’m trying to keep him away from Two and a half Men
G: and Vince’s got his earphones on so he’s not heard any of this conversation. He’s throwing the football trying to “occoopie” himself until it is over and told Vince to please not get on to him for that.
J: omg. my legs are so hairy they hurt
G: niiiice
J: i’m gonna go take a bath and shave my legs. be back in a bit

J: well that was a chore.
G: LOL
G: you’re missing the 3 Douchebag Realtors Show!
G: Might I add Idiot Douchebg Realtors?
J: we’re watching Kill Bill
G: *rolls eyes*
J: and now we’re watching the football game.
J: a minute ago we were watching AFV
G: big fun
J: i would like to trade my husband in for another one please.
G: I’ve got 1 month left on my Vaio warranty so I’m starting to chew them out over every single problem
G: I should go back to Windows as well. THey were willing to give me Windows 7 when it was still in Beta testing but then I couldn’t download it from their download & then they said nevermind.
G: next week one is going to joke about drowning the guy with the bad bad hair’s little rat dog. There may be a slap fight
G: OMG. This dude is a freak. the one with the hair
G: he got a new haircut
G: so he says. It looks just as terrible.
J: i’m goin to bed.
J: i get to see my mommy and daddy tomorrow!
G: okay
G: yay!
J: have fun tomorrow. hope you get to see a good movie!
G: ok
G: I think it will be Christmas Carol
J: oh, that’ll be good
G: that seems the most agreed on. I don’t care
J: Bob wants to see it
G: LOL
G: well I’ve heard it is scary
G: you might not like it
J: i might not!
J: lol! how well you know me
G: I’ll let you know.
J: okay. nite!
G: good night

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J: can you hear their words?
G: on HIMYM?
J: yes
G: yes
J: i’m only getting music and people laughing
G: well it’s a rerun anyway
J: yeah

G: Vince had someone add him on facebook from high school and she’s a grandmother….someone HIS age
J: no way.

G: Boy1 is earing tidy whities today
G: that’s all
G: and there’s like cheeto stains & chocolate stains on them
G: (and yes, I’m sure it’s chocolate, he was just eating a snickers fun size bar)
J: LOL! I was going to ask if you were sure it was chocolate!
G: it’s on the front too
G: I won’t look closely at the back

G: Boy1 is trying to get me to find “that Elvis song”
J: oh well how could you not do that quickly????
G: I give up
G: I think it’s something his crackhead music teacher made up
G: my stupid iTunes won’t download the stuff I bought on my phone
G: Boy1 just had to re-watch the Glee “Bust a Move” and “Sweet Caroline”
J: i thought about him when i saw that

G: I love this show on Bravo with the 3 LA real estate douchebag guys
J: oh i do too. is that on?
G: yes……the new one is on at 9
G: It makes Vince cringe almost as much as the Toddlers & Tiaras
G: the homeowners getting mad because they think their houses are worth more than any other house in the neighborhood

J: so your boyfriend is #1 on iTunes, huh?
G: he’s #1 on Billboard too

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G: did you get my message or are you ignoring me?
J: no, i never got a message. did you get mine?
G: no!
J: i sent one last night telling you that the kitty was going to kitty foster care if she didn’t mind her p’s and q’s!
G: yes, I did get that
G: and I replied to it a bit ago
J: never got that
G: about how I would send Dog with her
G: because she tore the phone cord up that goes to the Wifi modem
G: Vince fixed it but then when *I* wanted to get online it all stopped working
J: oh no!

J: so [J's cat] fell into the bathtub full of bleach water a bit ago.
G: whoops!!!!!
J: yeah. freaked me out ’cause i was afraid she drank some of it.
J: but she seems to be fine
G: ah, she’s got 8 lives left anyway
J: and i tried to call the ACPCA poision control line and they wanted $60 to tell me what to do!
G: she was probably trying to get out of there so damn fast she didn’t get any
G: maybe you should just give her another bath or two to get it off her coat though
J: yeah, Bob did while i was calling the ASPCA!

G: okay, when my wifi didn’t work the last bit, Vince’s did
G: so I went in the kitchen to get closer to the wif
G: and now his doesn’t work
G: so he’s getting closer to the wifi than I am
G: if I disappear I will be having a big fight and will be back shortly
J: LOL. okay!

G: one of Boy1’s annoying friends moved away this year
G: but he will move back here next year
G: and he called my cell phone to talk to Boy1….he’s back in town for the w/e
G: and Boy1 tries to tell me that [annoying friend]’s voice has gotten deeper too
G: “Really? Because I thought it was a woman when he called!” LOL. He says I am being mean & teasing but (for once) I am not
J: LOL!
G: oh man, I forgot I had set my stupid iTunes acct. to take out of my Paypal
G: I had money in there, I was going to buy a necklace on Etsy. But now I only have 1/2 the money for it
J: ugh oh!
J: it goes fast
G: yeah
G: Boy1 is wearing boxers, a white undershirt and these loafers that look like slippers. I told him he looks like an old man
J: so i hate the new facebook format
G: its annoying
G: wanna see my brother’s 130 photos from Peru?
J: um… sure?
G: LOL
G: You don’t have to……….but they’re cool
G: [link removed]
G: the slideshow keeps getting stuck on me
J: what was he doing in Peru? just for fun?
G: yes
J: i’m afraid i’m too lazy to go to Peru! Looks like a lot of walking if you ask me
G: yes, they walked for 3 days
G: you can take the train to Machu Pichu but they decided to walk
G: (or at least when my mom went she took the train)
J: yeah, i think i’d take the train!
J: those pics are awesome. i made Bob look at some of them.
G: see? aren’t you glad?
G: I am going to take a very long, very hot bath. I will be back later.
J: Okay. i think i might do the same.

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J: Hello????
G: hello
J: are you watching Mercy and yelling at the boys?
G: yep, you know my whole routine don’t you?
J: LOL

G: OMG, I almost had a complete brain fart. “What’s on at 8pm on Wednesdays that I watch?”
G: I am getting alzheimer’s. I’m sure of it.
J: um… GLEE!!!
G: just note it now.
J: oh, i had a dream the other night i was doing the Single Ladies dance.
G: LOL. Awesome.
J: yeah. i was pretty good!
G: speaking of dreams, have you seen this? http://www.thisman.org/history.htm
J: okay. he freaks me out and i’m pretty sure i’m going to have nightmares about him tonight.
G: well then you can join the club
G: Boy1 has never seen him either
G: bummer. I want to know someone who has seen him
G: have I mentioned my feelings for Algebra?
J: you don’t have to. i’m sure i have the same feelings!
G: yeah but you haven’t spent hours on it the last few days. My head almost exploded last night
G: 2 worksheets front & back of stuff
G: fulll pages
G: and then the teacher today says, “oh yeah we went over those in class.” So they weren’t graded??? You didn’t pore over every answer????
G: OMG, Toddlers & Tiaras!
G: the mom is saying how her daughter was ugly when she was born & looked like she had Downs Syndrome.
J: i’m having to record it

G: oh lordy, this mom has her daughter’s glamour shot photo on a shirt.
J: that screams classy
G: she’s got these…….like rhinestone things on her face. Like beauty marks by her eyes.
G: the mom does
G: the same mom who thought her daughter was ugly
G: not that she’s that cute now.
G: this one girl is just gorgeous. she has her dad’s coloring (Hawaiian) but then with no makeup she looks just like her mom yet her mom is not attractive at all. I don’t understand these women……..like this one………not a stitch of makeup, looks like she hasn’t had a haircut in years and yet your daughter is wearing a pound of makeup, a pound of hairspray.
J: it makes me so sad when Bob puts my [kitty] outside for the night.
G: aww. she has to go outside????
J: well, just in the livingroom, but still
G: *rolls eyes*

G: [Toddlers & Tiaras] oh my. this Oriental girl is doing Annie for her talent and wearing the Annie wig.
G: she doesn’t want to……”it’s not my color” Yeah, listen to the 7 year old. She makes sense. you’ve never seen an Oriental person with curly short red hair!
J: LOL!
G: she’s not a terrible singer either.
G: but she looked ridiculous

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G: Dog is talking to me, but I don’t know what she’s saying.
J: lol!
G: I thought it was “the ball went under the couch, get off your ass and get it!” (again)
G: but then she brought me the ball
J: LOL@@@
G: so I wonder if the swine flu comes on all of a sudden like the regular flu or comes on very very very slowly.
G: I’m achy
G: and tired
G: and my throat hurts
G: which I’m pretty certain with my medical degree that it’s just the weird way I get allergies
G: but I want it to stop
J: hmmm… since you’re the doctor i won’t try to get in your way

G: have you by any chance seen this SuperFetch show on TLC?
G: LOL.
J: no. i haven’t hear about it. what is it?
G: well it’s this Zak George who I have been a fan of for a long time. He goes around and does shows with his border collies. He’s been on Letterman & stuff.
G: but this show isn’t the conventional dog training or obedience
G: it’s basically “I want to teach my dog a stupid trick, can you help?”
G: like how to pour a draught beer, how to bowl, how to get my money out of my wallet & pay after I got my manicure
J: well that sounds like fun

J: okay. this stupid tornado better just move on out of town before The Office starts!
G: oh…..LOL………should I be worried?
G: I did get a tornado watch e-mail
J: they are showing the weather. “we’re not seeing anything alarming…” we’re looking at a black sky.
J: oh they said something about [town in far away state]
J: sirens are going off in downtown [town next to J]
J: so if i disappear you know i’m in the hall closet!
G: well keep me updated
G: I’m on [semi-local station] for the moment
G: it looks like it’s going north of both of us. the bad part
G: Boy2 is still at football……..did I say that already? I can’t chat with two people at once.
J: no you didn’t tell me that
J: ummm… they are talking about my roads…
G: oh,
G: well that’s not good
J: i told Bob earlier that i didn’t like that it was so warm outside because of the storm potential
G: it’s not even doing anything here. sprinkly barely
G: and still and crickets chirping
G: you know, I complain about commercials being SO LOUD. [semi-local station] does not do that. It’s much better.
G: I’m glad I’m following the [local station] weather on Twitter. Tornado watch until Midnight for eastern [state to the west] Check the blog for more details. about 3 hours ago from web

G: are you in the closet?
G: you could’ve at least taken your phone and IM’d me from there.
J: LOL!
J: i was a little scared there for a minute!
J: i think we’re safe now, though.
G: from the radar on their site it really looks like it’s north of you
G: now it’s pouring & windy
G: and Boy2 still isn’t home
J: yeah, it’s raining pretty hard right now.

G: I’m turning into my mother…..the worry wart
J: what are you worried about?!
G: oh just Boy2 being home. he’s home now
J: okay. good.
G: I mean his practice ended in [town 12 miles away] an hour ago
G: and they just pulled in
G: I didn’t talk to [the carpool mom]. Since it was downpouring
G: great. my satellite is going to go out.
G: I have some channels coming in but not my NBCs
J: of course!
G: whoops, I just shushed Vince
G: LOL
G: he was talking over Dwight though.
J: they are now showing something that tells us how close we were to a tornado. WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G: so does that mean you missed the opening [of the Office]?
J: \YES
J: they are still showing the weather
G: Oh assholes!!!!!!!!!!!
G: well I just lost it too
G: @#$@#
J: how kind of them… they are going to reair The Office at 1:05 a.m. on Saturday morning.]
G: lovely
G: perfect timing
G: I’m debating on staying up til 11 to watch it
J: yay. we got it
J: only missed 8 minutes
J: you still there???
G: yes
G: it’s calmed down. I didn’t realize we were under a tornado WARNING in [G’s town] Ignorance is Bliss.
G: expires at 8:30

J: LOL are you watching this?
G: yes
J: are you crying?
G: no
J: aww… that was so sweet
G: I came upstairs to lay down in the dark quiet and it was lovely for 30 whole seconds
G: until Vince followed and Avery needs help cleaning the coffee pot
J: lol… i know… i always love being in my room until you know who comes in and starts snoring
G: I just didn’t want to hear Jay Leno. He was annoying & loud
G: not to mention NOT funny
J: but gerard butler is so hawt
G: meh
G: now we have a real emergency. we can’t find the remote. so everyone out of bed, strip the bed, throw stuff everywhere
G: and Cat1 is walking across the room with my bra in her mouth
J: LOL!!!

G: now we’re hearing stories on CNN about Psycho Sam. Lovely bedtime story.
G: I changed it. I got mad.
G: Vince says, “Yeah, did you hear about that?”
G: No. I did not. And I do not want to. With the name Psycho Sam, this can’t turn out well though.
G: “So you did hear?” NO! LA LA LA LA LA
J: who is Psycho Sam?
G: I don’t know
J: OH
J: gotcah!
J: sorry
G: I have a feeling he did not do something very nice
J: yeah, sounds like it
G: I believe the headline mentioned the word Horror
G: unless there were cute puppies & kittens in no harm behind the door that the police discovered, I just don’t think I want to hear it. Thanks.
G: you know, I do say I don’t watch the news b/c I don’t want to hear it.
G: but the other night at football [friend]’s sister and her stoner/drunk boyfriend were sitting next to us.
G: and she didn’t know what H1N1 was
G: and something else. Or someone……..I can’t remember, it would be like Jon Gosselin or something. LIke you can’t even turn on the TV and not know.
G: wouldn’t that be nice? to really not know any of that existed?
J: could you imagine?
G: I know. crazy.
J: do/did you watch Young & the Restless?
G: no
G: I mean I know who some of those people are but I’ve never watched it

G: oh, woohoo!!! my boyfriend’s new CD is already downloading to my iTunes
J: yay!
J: was he on oprah today?
G: no, it’s tomorrow
G: he e-mailed me and told me even
J: how nice of him!\
G: he also told me I can order his official 2010 calendar
G: I’m gonna do a Boy2. Put it on repeat and play it all night
J: i’m sure Vince will appreciate that!
J: i’m going to have to go to sleep
G: ok, good night
J: [J’s cat] is zonked out beside me
J: she’s so cute
G: Fartina is next to me but she’s just waiting for me to throw her rubber band
J: lol
J: ok nite!

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