Not Quite Fascinating

J: Whatcha doin???
G: nuttin
G: watching grandma beat the guys @ bowling again
J: that sounds like fun. were ya’ll going to see your dad this morning?
G: yes
J: so, i’m eating my left over PF Changs out of my cute little white box with my chopsticks.
G: awww
G: LOL
G: Boy2 is eating stale popcorn
G: and offering it to me
J: i have some over here from last night, too if he wants it.
G: Boy2 says the best place to throw the bowl in bowling is “in the middle” Thanks for the advice pal.
J: lol!!
J: are you bowling?
G: no, not now
J: i told Bob that we were going to go to your house some day for Wii bowling and beer and he asked, “what is Wii bowling?” He thought it was little people bowling.
G: LOL
G: Wee
G: hee hee
G: so I guess he didnn’t dump you last night?
J: nope. and if he’s not my boyfriend then i really should get the “I’m a ho” tattoo
G: Um……..okay
J: no not what you’re thinking, but…
G: okay, but….
G: LOL
G: then you’re *really* not a ho! either way you’re not a ho.
J: well, that’s true.
G: Gramma is kickin ASS. LOL
G: that’s why I’m not playing.
J: lol
J: no one wants to go up against her, huh?
G: well the guys aren’t afraid to
J: have you ever seen Breakfast at Tiffany’s?
G: yes, it’s been a while though!
J: i bought it at Best Buy for like $6 the other day and I’m watching it now.
G: cool
J: you could put it on your iPod!
J: how many movies will you iPod hold?
G: I dunno…I’ve got 3 on now and it’s no where near full
G: I’ve got 3 movies, almost 1000 songs and there’s still 21meg free
G: I mean gig
J: wow. how many gigs is it?
G: 30
G: and 2 TV shows
J: so i went to the Cingular store and the girl who helped me said that that Nokia PDA type phone got terrible reception so that poo poos that idea.
G: I need to find some new stuff to watch though
G: oh well, that stinks
J: i’ll have to bring you Devil
G: yeah!!
J: so how long is your flight to FL?
G *shrug*:
G: we stop in Atlanta
G: we leave
G: at 6
G: AM
G: on Friday
G: I think we get there by 1:30
G: ?
J: i was just wondering if your battery is going to stay charged up for it.
G: somethin like that
G: It bettah!
G: I carry on my laptop though so I could re-charge it
G: The Office episodes and the whole season are the #1 show on iTunes. That should tell you something!
J: have you heard anything about it being illegal to talk on your cell in your car after the first of the year?
G: no
G: but you know how often i hear local news
J: I’m going to start watching it! I really like the episodes I’ve seen.
G: Eleven states (Arizona, Arkansas, California, Connecticut, Delaware, Illinois, Massachusetts, New Jersey, Rhode Island, Tennessee, and Texas) and DC prohibit the use of all cellular phones while driving a school bus.
J: well, i’m not going to be driving a school bus!
G: someone put it in for legislation a couple weeks ago.
G: I don’t see any results or when.
J: i think i’m going to go with this phone http://www.cingular.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phone-details/?q_list=true&q_phoneName=Cingular+SYNC+by+Samsung+(a707)&q_sku=sku230004
J: well, i think they all want us to look like we’re on Star Treck with those bluetooth things on.
G: it passed in California and doesn’t go into effect until 2008
G: I’m not wearing one of those ear things. I almost never talk on my phone while driving. I can use speaker phone & yell
J: yeah, i’m using the speaker. people look stupid with those things on.
G: I saw a bit of that Beauty & the Geek on MTV the other day and one dude (obviously a geek) had a bluetooth thing on each ear.
J: well that’s just retarded.
G: so I told you Vince’s going squirrel hunting tomorrow, right?
J: so we watched “Lady In The Water” last night. Possibly one of the stupdiest movies i’ve ever seen. And I love M Knight Shamalan
G: I have no desire to see that
J: Yes, you told me he’s going hunting. Which frightens me more than you can know.
G: LOL
G: well, I figure as many time as the rest of them have gone and no one’s shot another, I’m not too worried.
J: lol! good point.
J: [Boss] just called and asked me what my electricity bill was this month ’cause S’s was $140!
G: sorry, I sat on the lid
J: mine was, as you know, $70
G: holy crap!!
J: yeah. i’m thinking there’s something wrong down there.
G: so anyway, I was saying…
J: yeah
G: Vince spent over $200 on paraphanelia
J: like???
G: to go kill squirrels in the woods
G: camo pants
G: camo jacket
J: i love the name paraphanelia
G: bullet vest holder thing
J: word, i mean
G: kumquat
G: gloves
G: boots
J: bullet vest holder thing??? for squirrl hunting/???? LOL!!!!!
G: yeah, I know..
J: OMG. I am LMAO!!!
G: and pockets in the back for carcasses
J: PLEASE take a picture of him!!!
G: I’m not getting up that early!! maybe when he gets home
J: who all is going?
G: http://www.bluetomorrow.com/content/section/111/185/
G: *shrug*
G: no idea.
G: you know it will be [Name] and he doesn’t go anywhere w/o [Name], [Name]….and then who knows
G: don’t know if it’s a whole gang or just them.
G: Maybe Vince knows, I didn’t ask
G: oh, and an orange hat
G: LOL
G: he’s wearing it now
G: just remind me when he gripes about F21
J: oh believe me, I will
J: so, I bought me a pair of Nike’s today.
J: So I can start working out and my toe won’t fall off.
G: good!
G: my mom just kicked Boy2 & I’s ass at bowling
G: and I just bowled my best game
G: she just got 3 strikes in a row
J: i’m telling you… you should video her playing!!!
G: I did that first night
G: Oh, so you know what Vince said today? I told you he can’t keep surprises.
G: “You’re going to want to USE your birthday present before we go to Florida.”
J: and from that you figured it out?
G: well, I have way more narrowed down guesses
J: oh, i see…
J: well, at least you now know for sure it’s not a bird.
G: LOL
G: true.
J: and if it were I will not baby sit it as well. I’m sure Dogi is going to be quite enough!
G: LOL
G: I know.
G: truly, if he’s too much take him to [kennel]
J: So Bob leaves his dog with [kennel]
G: oh yeah?
J: Oh, we’re going to be fine!
G: I think so
G: 1/2 his problem is the energy in the house
G: they feed off eachother
J: The only thing that worries me is I’m afraid he’s going to get away from me when I take him out.
G: well, you put the choke chain on him and like I said, just take him out the back so he doesn’t see the cars going by
G: he can’t pull Boy1 over
J: yeah, it’ll be fine.
J: i told Bob that he & [Bob's Dog] could have a play date and he thinks [Bob's Dog] will like that. I told him that he hasn’t met Dog yet
J: Dog will wear [Bob's Dog] out!
J: I love that puppy!!!
G: LOL.
G: he needs some more socialization. He hasn’t been around dogs for a while
G: yesterday we were watching Mad About You and they were showing Murray barking up close–like a spoof of Lassie trying to tell them Timmy was in the well….and Dog barked back at him
J: lol! how cute!
G: …..
G: Brian bought Dog a brown tennis ball attached to a brown stuffed tail–kinda like a raccoon tail
G: well Boy2, shockingly, is pantsless, just in his undies
G: and he put the tennisball in his undies with the tail hanging out
G: and was running through the house. So I let Dog loose on him.
J: LOL!!!
G: Boy1’s had 5 strikes in a row
J: he might be a professional bowler when he grows up!
G: no kidding
G: sorry, my battery was dying…I had to find my cord
G: you can download Saved by the Bell on iTunes
J: sweet!
G: 20.99 for the 1st season
G: OMG, Vince has it on ET
G: like ayear long recap
G: and that freaking Monique–that [not nice words]woman….who the hell is she? All I ever seen her on is ET crying about being wronged
G: she was wronged because she was fat
G: and she was crying about Michael Richards
J: she was on that Girlfriends show or something
G: and lord knows what else. I only watch ET like 3 times a month!
J: yes, everytime I see her she’s griping about how Hollywood hates her ’cause she’s fat. Well, then lose weight.
G: or get a new job
G: brb
G: Boy2 just came out of teh bedroom
G: and he’s all WET
G: “MOM! My bandaid just came offf!!!!!!”
J: ugh oh
G: okay
G: Boy1 “forced” him to get wet in the sink
J: likely story
G: Based on Truman Capote’s novella, this is the story of a young, jet- setting woman in New York City who meets a young man when he moves into her apartment building. He is being kept by a wealthy, older woman, but wants to be a writer. She is working as a high-priced escort and searching for a rich, older man to marry. The opening scene has her window-shopping at Tiffany’s at six in the morning, after being up all night on a date.
G: it says she’s Jet Setting.
J: i wish i was a jet setter
J: not quite sure what it is, but it sounds fun.
G: LOL
J: so Bob said that i was his girlfriend last night.
G: awww
G: so are ya’ll goin’ steady or what?
J: i dunno
J: so he couldn’t find his tickets to the game and he said that the thought crossed his mind that I found them and hid them from him.
J: Now do I seem like the kind of girl who would do something like that/????
G: LOL
G: I don’t think so!!!
G: “Mom, Boy2’s out of beeeeddd!”
G: “No I’m not!”
G: Well why in the world would Boy1 just up and yell that?
J: beats me
G: of course when Boy2 is denying it he’s *back* in bed
G: “I’m not out of bed.”
J: do they know what time it is?????
G: I KNOW
G: the iTunes movie selection is very poor
J: how much do they cost?
G: Oh, and you need to watch Supersize Me
G: $9.99-$14.99
J: that’s not bad
J: i can’t wait to wear my new Nike’s! i figured that if I’m going to date someone who likes to do outdoors stuff that I’m sure I’ll have to do it sometime sooner or later.
G: yeah, then I’ll take you to that huntin’ store I went to today!
G: some old fart asked me if I was going too
J: luckily he’s not a hunter
G: I was wearing that silk F21 tunic and jeans and ballet flats
G: so it wasn’t like I was dressed down
J: i don’t know if it’s mafia related, but the narcotics squad just arrested her
J: i can’t stay up any longer.
G: okay
J: i will talk to you tomorrow. Nite!
G: I’ll be here! Good night!
J: will you watch the ball drop with me?
G: probably…at this point I have no plans!
J: Bob said he’d call me if he wasn’t already asleep.
G: but to sit and eat & watch Ryan Seacrest.
J: geeze. i’m dating Vince.
G: awwww
G: LOL
J: awww… she just dumped her cat out in the rain and it was watching her drive away all sad like…
G: awwww, I remember that part
J: i ate too many sour skittles and now my tummy hurts.
G: mmm, sour skittles….mmmmm
J: she found the cat!!!!
J: so, i have no idea really why this was called b
J: Breakfast at Tiffany’s but okay.
G: at the beginning she was looking in the window at Tiffanys, wasnt’ she?
J: yes
G: and it was early in the morning…she was hungry for breakfast!!!
G: I dunno, I just made that shit up!
J: yeah, i kinda figured that.
J: okay, well, now that this is over i’m off to bed! nite!
G: good night!

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J: do you still have Little Miss Sunshine?
G: did you get that message already??
J: yep
G: It’s [brother]’s copy
G: wow…I mean the credits are still rolling! LOL
G: I’m sure you could borrow it
G: the ending is ROTFL funny. I was trying to think who to recommend it to.
J: if Bob & I stay home Friday and watch a movie that’s what I’d like it to be.
J: otherwise he’s taking me to see DreamGirls
G: that would be good
J: so would you be mad if I flew to HI to get married and didn’t tell you until after I’ve gotten married?
G: yes
J: W would be, too.
G: why are you planning something?
G: well you don’t want to disappoint us
G: And then who would I make a cake for??
J: okay, i’ll tell you, W and my mom before I got with whoever I marry.
J: are you going to come with me?
G: hell yes
J: W’s a chicken and won’t fly. plus she has 6 people in her family and who could afford the airfare.
G: well, screw it. I’ll go indo debt for you
J: are you coming to see me get married or just to go to HI?
G: but you’re living in the wedding capitol of the south!! Get married here!
G: no, both.
G: Mmmm…they said “hamburger or donut or chocolate chip cookie…” on TV
J: W says i should go to vegas and let elvis marry me
J: MMMM… that sounds much better than my popcorn.
G: I have one of those chocolate drumsticks in my fridge
G: ONE
G: and 2 houseguests that never leave
J: lol!
G: so if they’d LEAVE, I’d eat it
G: [brother]’s eating the apple pie
G: that Dog licked
G: well, [brother] said, “you think this is still good?”
G: SURE
G: Vince actually said “I dunno……” so I confessed
G: but then I said, I don’t think he got to it because there would be a bite out of it and there’s not
G: so he’s eating it
G: and then Cat just walked by when it was on the coffee table and put his tail in it
G: so Boy2 is sick
G: so Boy2 is sick—did you see that?
J: no, what’s wrong with him?
G: same crud [brother] had
G: really pitiful
G: its hard to tyoe with an icecream conbe in yopur hand
J: i don’t want to talk to you right now!
J: i want an icecream cone
G: its really gross
J: sure it is
G: I haen’t seen this Friday Night Lights
J: it’s the last one
G: the last one that was on you mean?
J: yes
G: Vince’s asking me 10000 questions
G: who are those people he’s eating with?
J: okay, sorry. i was on the phone with my boyish friendish person.
J: i’m going to go back and read what you said and respond appropriately.
G: that’s fine…..the boyish friendish takes priority
G: certainly over Vince’s dumb questions at least
G: it was the black guy doing steriods–who was he at dinner with?
J: he was at dinner with his preacher & his daughter who he has a crush on.
G: ah, gotcha
J: my bf #4 is so cute
G: yes, he is
J: so should we renumber my list?
G: yes, I guess
G: Why is Lila a whore but not that guy???
J: because she’s a girl, duh!
G: well that’s just retarded

G: LMAO…there’s a Seinfeld like 100 episodes review show on
G: I forgot this one.
J: i guess i’m not the only person having trouble cashing in my iTunes gift card. There is a whole story on the news coming up.
G: Elaine stole the “Jesus Fish” off Puddy’s car
G: oh man…sucks for you!!!!
G: man hands!
G: Independent George
G: I’m laughing and laughing
J: what channel?
G: Vince won’t go to the bathroom b/c he doesn’t want to miss it
G: 388!
G: Fox
G: out of New York
J: is george sitting on the couch?
G: no
G: it’s one clip after another
G: saying all their funny names for people
G: “he’s a close talker”
G: “She’s a low talker”
J: oh. i’ve got one where he’s sitting on the couch with some girl. his girlfriend has a guy roommate.
G: Jerry’s girlfriend or George?
J: gorge
J: george
G: hmmm
G: The one when Jerry’s girlfriend had a guy roommate the girl was Amanda Peet
J: Newman is going to the superbowl with his mail man?
J: Elaine is going to the superbowl with Tim Watley.
G: gotcha
G: Tim Watley is the dentist that converted to Judiasm so he could tell Jew jokes
G: so Jerry told dentist jokes
J: well, and she’s supposed to have looked for a label maker?
G: and they called him an anti-dentite
J: lol
G: it was regifted!
J: Joey McIntyre wants to be MB. He released a CD with stuff like “The Way You Look Tonight”, “Makin’ Whoopie”, etc.
G: *rolls eyes*
G: good one: Kramer takes George’s future in-laws on a horse & carriage ride. He bought “Beefareno” at a Costco type place and fed the rest to the horse and the horse had gas
J: i wish Kelly Clarkson would hurry up and release a new CD
G: me too
G: so unless Boy2 is super-sick, do you want to go to lunch tomorrow?
J: yeah
J: did you go with [friend]today?
G: yes
G: to [restaurant]’s
G: and [other friend] too
J: fun!
J: Did you know I’m going to marry [other friend]s son?
G: I told Vince I would take you to lunch tomorrow if Boy2 feels okay. ….he thought I meant buy your lunch. Like I’m that generous?
G: no, but go for it. He’s sooo cute.
J: have i told you that story?
G: no
J: Well, one day he was in the hall and told [lady] that he’d marry her. Well, she told him that she was already married but that i wasn’t so he kinda shrugged and said, “Okay, i’ll marry her.”
G: LOL
J: so, the next day [other friend]was in his classroom and I asked him if he had told her the good news. He said, “I’m going to marry her”. [other friend] asked, “Well, what about [K]?”  to which he replied, “She can just be my girlfriend.”
J: [other friend] said, “I hope you didn’t learn that from your dad!”
G: lol
J: i think I want Chris Daughtry’s album. what do you think?
G: yeah, what I’ve heard is cool
J: bring my cable tomorrow!
G: okay, let me go put it in my purse now
J: i’m liking what i’ve heard so far. i’m going to get it.
G: ok
G: I”m gonna hop in the shower. BRB
J: okay
J: I think I have decided that since Bob won’t be here to take me out on New Year’s Eve that I’m going to make him take me somewhere on Friday
G: that’s a good plan
G: he owes you and it will be less crowded on New Year’s Eve Eve Eve
J: that’s true.
G: I don’t know what we’re doing..I’m leaving things open
G: Vince & the guys are goin’ squirrel huntin’ that day.
J: oh, well that sounds like fun…
G: um huh
G: so i”m sure they’ll get drunk and shoot squirrels and say, “Hey let’s take our women…..”
G: so you could have a date with Boy1, Boy2, & Dog if you wanted.
J: well, i would but i think i’m invited to go somewhere with S and her new man
G: I dunno. I’m sure all day Monday is the eating, eating, eating fest we usually have. I don’t know if I want to go out the night before
J: oh, yeah. i need to get some black eyed peas
G: we didn’t last year and Leslie had to run to the bathroom every 10 minutes the next day
G: so I was glad we hadn’t gone to eat with them…they had Shogun or something
J: yuck.
G: hmmm. Mexican food sounds good to me right now
J: so, here’s my second favorite shirt that Bob designed

J: mmm… that sounds good to me, too.
G: I think [Maxican] was going to be closed to remodel….I do’nt know when
G: I don’t know if I want new anus anyway
J: that’s true. new anus might not be the best thing to have. how about [Maxican 2]?
G: yeah. Of course something else will probably sound better tomorow
J: true. LF sounds good now.
G: yeah, that’s what I was thinking…did I say that? It’s what I had planned
G: oooh! and if things are the same, tomorrow is Tostada day!
J: no, you didn’t say it.
G: we have ESP
J: well then LF it should be!!!
J: ugh. my electricity bill was $70 this month!
G:
J:
G: I think mine was $197
J:
J: wait. that’s not what i mean to do
G: LOL
J:
J: i’m never getting a house. i’m staying in my nice little apartment.
J: i just got really tireder than i already was.
G: I don’t know how you do that. My shop bill is $90 and I mean…do I run that much stuff?
J: no, not really.
J: i don’t know why mine is so cheap.
G: don’t ask….just appreciate it
J: oh, i do!
J: okay, i’m going to sleep. do you want to just come pick me up tomorrow?
G: Yeah, let me e-mail you though.
G: if Boy2’s sick or whatever….I could maybe take him to my mom’s? I dunno, we’ll see
J: yeah, that’s cool. I hope boy2 isn’t sick. Not just because I want to go to lunch, but because I don’t want him to be sick!
G: I know, he was really miserable
G: we came home at 5….
G: he went to sleep on the couch for like an hour and a half
G: laid there another hour or so
G: didn’t even want SOUP for dinner
G: and then went to bed
J: wow. he must really be sick if he didn’t want soup!
G: and was crying that his throat hurt
G: yeah, I know.
J: poor guy!
J: well, just let me know. i’m sure i won’t starve if you have to reschedule!
G: okay!
J: nite
G: oh yeah…
G: b/c they’re *probably* not moving my dad tomorrow
G: ‘*probably* Friday now
G: so that may come up too
G: anywho…Good night!
J: okay! Nite
G: did you get my text e-mail? Since you don’t get my regular text messages?
J: yep, i got it. sorry you were bored!
G: my dog is eating everything he can pick up off the floor
J: poor baby. don’t you ever feed him?
G: oh yeah, we just gave him a bowl full of food right before
G: My roomba is beeping at me.
G: I don’t know why
J: you didn’t tell me you got one of those!
G: now he’s licking Boy2’s pants
G: yeah! From [brother] & my mom
G: okay, so are you still willing to babysit my puppy?? We’re gonna go to Disney.
J: sure
J: as long as he doesn’t cry all night
G: no…he doesn’t at home…well, he did once last week.
G: unless he’s just sooooo sad that he misses his mommy
G: well honestly, if he got to be too much you can take him to S @ the PJ. I just hate to do that to him if you’re willing to.
J: oh, i’m sure we’ll be fine
G: Boy2 just asked, “Who’s gonna babysit Dog??”
G: As long as you’ll take him out back to potty. I’m scared he’ll drag you though the driveway trying to chase cars
J: this emcee on Little Miss Sunshine reminds me of [Vince's uncle]
G: LMAO
G: oh good, you’re getting to the best part
G: Boy1: “What is this stench on my arm?”
G: “SMELL IT”
G: “HERE SMELL IT”
G: Me: “NO! Get away from me!!!”
G: Boy1: “Something’s weird, it smells weird. Why don’t you want to smell it?”
J: lol!
J: LOL!!!
G: are you at the funny part? LOL….isn’t that great?
J: LMAO
J: i love Greg Kinnear
G: yes, and Steve Carrell
J: yeah
J: so when are you guys leaving?
G: OMG…the dog just ate a huge huge piece of brownie
G: the 12th-21st
G: and I had them in the microwave
G: and Vince took them out and left them out on the counter
G: and HE is mad at ME.
J: so i can’t feed Dog brownies while he’s here?
G: um, no…chocolate is lethal to dogs
J: well, hopefully he’ll still be alive for me to puppy sit
G: no lie
G: OMG, he’s mad at me
J: um, well, it’s HIS fault
G: no SHIT
G: “This is worst than having a baby.”
G: well you wouldn’t freaking leave poison out within a baby’s reach would you?
G: and Boy1 is bawling……the kid that kicked the dog today
J: So, I’ve made a decision.
J: If Bob and I work out I’m leaving my job.
G: okay
G: and doing?
J:
G: or sitting at home?
J: I just know that I’m tired of living my life under a microscope. Like earlier, I’m sure he didn’t think anything of it, but we were trying to decide whose house we were going to watch a movie at tomorrow and at first I was like, “let’s do it at yours because I don’t want people driving by and seeing your car here late”
J: but then I was like, “no, it doesn’t matter.” so he’s coming over here. but if he wants to stay until 1:30 I want that to be okay.
G: well, I can understand that
J: so I’m a little worried that he thinks that maybe I don’t want people to know we’re dating which isn’t the truth at all. i just don’t want everyone up in my business, kwim?
G: Okay, I’m supposed to induce vomiting in this dog. I’m gonna have a fun night
J: how are you going to do that?
G: give him peroxide
J: so he can drink peroxide but not each chocolate???
G: yeah, apparently
G: just enough to induce vomiting
G: so now he and I are on the deck
G: if he doesn’t barf in 15 minutes I have to give him more
G: lemme know when it’s been 15 minutes
G: here it comes
G:
J: gross!
G: no, gross is that he wants to go back and eat what he puked
J:
G: think of how dull your life would be if you didn’t know us
J: man, isn’t that the truth!
G: okay, they’re all in bed
G: the boys were in bed once and had to come out and see how much the dog puked
G: which really is a fascinaitng amount for a little dog
J: did you take a pic?
G: no, I can if you’re dying to see though
G: first there was big pile one–all food
G: big pile two…food and brownie
G: small pile 3
G: clear pile 4 and clear pile 5
J: wow. thanks. um, i hope you know that i’ll not induce vomiting. and if i do i’ll leave him out on the deck and only let him back in when i’m sure that he’s finished.
G: just keep anything but dog food out of his reach–which is higher than you might imagine
J: maybe he and Bob’s dog could have a play date
G: that would be sweet\
J: so my brother gave me 2 iTunes gift cards and sent me the wrong code on one of them and has already thrown them away.
G: dumbass
J: because, you know what? I’m just going to say it. Bob is my boyfriend.
G: yay!
J: and until he tells me different (which I sincerely hope is not tomorrow night)
J: that’s the way it will be.
G: good
G: and at some point if you like Bob enough you’re just gonna not have to give a crap
G: you may want him to have a sleepover.
J: and i was talking to W about it earlier and she told me that if I were her grown daughter that she would hope that I wouldn’t be alone with a guy in either of our homes. i told her that it was totally unrealistic to even try that.
G: well….maybe W & I shouldn’t be friends….I’m way more liberal than that!
J: well, and that’s part of my problem. I’ve grown up under a microscope my whole life and I do worry about what other people think. I know that I shouldn’t, but it’s just ingrained in me.
G: Hell, my MOM told me to have sex before marriage. I was 15 and I was mortified!!!!!!! LOL
J: wow!
G: I can have her give you the talk about sexual compatibility if you want. I can’t do it!!!!
J: I didn’t even hear my mom say the word S-E-X until I was like, 25!
J:
G: LOL
G: Vince’s trying to get me to eat the squirrel he’s gonna shoot on Sunday
J: i ate squirrel once… no wait. It was rabbit. nevermind.
G: This is where are upbringings (Vince & I) are veeerrry different
J: Oh, so I went to Payless earlier and tried on some boots and really liked them but they didn’t have them in my size. i might order them online.
G: oh, well I need brown boots now!!
G: man, Target has super easy returns, he just grabbed them, told me to stick my debit card in and that was that
J: wow.
G: I know!
G: I think I waited in line longer than it took
J: hey, tell Vince that i tried to call him from [hick town]. but it was an accident.
G: I can’t decide if I want to take a shower now or in the morning
J: oh, in the morning. that’s when i am.
G: “Tell her what I talked to her about I will do tomorrow if she’s still going over tomorrow”
G: okay, if you say so
J: tell him that what he talked to me about that i’ve already done so i don’t have to do it tomorrow.
G: “Tell her I”ll be by tomorrow at the office.”
G: “ask her if she already got it.”
J: tell him okay. i’m getting my brows waxed at 11:15 so i’m leaving at 11:00– and yes. the bird is in the nest.
G: LOL, you two are mean!!
G: LMAO
J: LOL
G: it better not really be a bird
J: LOL!!!
J: it’s not a bird. it’s a nest.
G: because I’ve got enough pets
G: “Ask her if they had what I was asking for.”
J: yep
G: “Alright”
J: i want to call in sick tomorrow.
J: even though i have monday off
G: “tell her I”ll make it worth her time.”
G: you should
J: sweet!
G: we could go do something
G: I don’t have anything to do now

J: I don’t really know a thing about Barak Obama’s political views, but I’ll vote for him just because he’s funny and loves his family.
G: I like him too. I don’t know that he’d make a good president but I like him
J: these are the boots that i’m ordering. and they are $24.99 in the store. [link]
J: okay, i’m only going to say this once. I HATE ITUNES AND MY IPOD. IT TAKES A MASTERS DEGREE TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT. HOW CAN IT BE SO HARD? SERIOUSLY. I’M MISSING SOMETHING SOMEWHERE.
G: Okay, since I’m the iTunes genius, I guess I need to have a look at it.
J: maybe you do
G: I love those boots! Cute.
G: the other night Vince ran into Best Buy and there was a girl walking in wearing boots very similar to these [hooker boots] and it was COLD out.
G: I want these [link]
J: okay, so i click on “J’s iPod”. my Carrie Underwood songs are on here three times each.
J: i try to unclick one of them and all three unclick.
J: finally. i hate all things Mac. maybe i’ll break up with Bob ’cause he’s a Mac guy.
G: do you have it on a playlist?
G: I just did it, I have duplicate songs, and it just deleted the one
J: i have those shoes you said you want.
G: well I still want them!
G: My other ones are getting a bit stinky
J: well, they are just on my iPod once. I don’t know. I think it’s possessed.
J: nice.
J: i’m really going to order the boots. do you want those?
G: yes
G: I really do
J: okay, well, happy birthday!
G: okay! Thanks!!
J: do you want an 8?
G: yes please.
J: i tried these on and they are really cute, but i’d be a foot taller than Bob if i wore them. [link]
G: those are cute too
J: and for the record, I am not going to stop wearing my heels just so i won’t be taller than him. i don’t really care.
G: well, works for me.
G: except for your wedding, you can’t be taller then. No one will see your shoes anyway
J: yeah, i’m getting married barefoot on the beach anyway, so…
G: I was going to add that
J: so is that all you want?
G: yes
J: i’m watching Dr. Phil and there is this couple on here and they guy shoved wedding cake up his wife’s nose. I will be PISSED if my husband does that to me. there will be NO SEX on the wedding night.
G: LOL, I know that is so tacky
J: these people have been married for 18 years and she is still mad about it. Get OVER IT!
G: okay, well yeah, that’s true, get over it
J: so i just thought of something. we got a MP3 player for free at the office when we ordered from Office Depot. I think I”m going to use that for all my work music and use my iPod for all my home music.
G: hee hee
G: all that death metal you have
J: yep
J: i think i’m going to bed. i have to get up early tomorrow and put on my world famous soup.
J: and shower and wash my hair.
G: okay
G: I forgot to tell you that Boy2’s finger has a nasty infection
J: yuck.
G: I’m not sure what to do.
G: he had a paper cut on the inside of his middle finger knuckle
G: he just showed us tonight in Target. I remember when he cut it though…
G: so we ran & bought neosporin & bandaids.
G: but what if he gets the flesh eating bacteria?
J: then when my fingers fall off from that disease i sent you earlier we’ll be all nubby together.
G: okay, great.
J: it didn’t seem to be bothering him at lunch! :0d
G: no I know. I’m sure it’s full of ranch
J: lol!
G: it seems localized…just a circle around the cut, it’s white
J: that’s a good sign.
J: if it starts looking like my toe then you should stick a needle in it.
G: it does really
G: but there’s the hole in the middle already, where the cut was
J: ugh. maybe you should take him to the dr?
G: yeah, I’m gonna see what it looks like in the morning
G: I poured peroxide on it (gotta love that stuff…induces vomiting in dogs, cleans cuts…)
G: and it bubbled
G: which according to Vince means there is infection in it
G: http://www.utahmountainbiking.com/firstaid/pics/infect3.jpg
J: gross! that’s a bazillion times worse than my toe. does his finger look like that?
G: no
G: not yet at least
G: it’s just round, white circle aroudn the cut.
G: wow, this is shocking http://www.webmd.com/content/article/122/114728
J: he must not be on his meds anymore.
G: yeah, no lie. Can you imagine if this IS him on his meds??
J: yeah
G: his mother deserves a medal
J: okay, i’m going to bed now. i’ll talk to you tomorrow.
G: good night
J: nite
J: if i disappear it’s cause boss came in… okay, i can get this one http://www.cingular.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phone-details/?q_list=true&q_phoneName=Cingular+SYNC+by+Samsung+(a707)&q_sku=sku230004
J: this one http://www.cingular.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phone-details/?q_list=true&q_phoneName=Samsung+D807&q_sku=sku1000060-0
G: LOL, let me look
G: I like the 2nd one
J: or this one http://www.cingular.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phone-details/?q_list=true&q_phoneName=Nokia+E62&q_sku=sku70034
G: sweet. Okay, get that one
G: LOL
G: I want hte Blackjack thing
G: http://www.cingular.com/cell-phone-service/cell-phone-details/?q_list=true&q_phoneName=Samsung+BlackJack&q_sku=sku300002
G: Did I tell you George W is my cousin? Were you still around last night?
J: no, you didn’t!
G: yes, he’s our 6th cousin or 8th cousin or something! LOL. I can’t wait to tell [brother]
[link] You have to copy & paste all that
J: oh that’ll make him happy!
J: you didn’t find MB but you found George W. Awesome!
G: I know. oh well
G: none of the Italian people are on there
G: there’s lots actually
G: [link]
J: you’re kin to all those people?
G: yep!
J: man. i don’t know enough about my family to even try to find out if i’m kin to someone famous.
G: OMG, I’m watching the Real World
G: and this girl is having blood drawn and bawling like she’s being beaten
J: i would be most proud of being kin to Joseph D. Ball, aka the Butcher of Elmendorf.
G: good luck having kids lady
G: LOL
G: depending on which way I go about it, different people come up…depending on which family members I start from.
G: Vince’s #1 of course is Elvis.
G: but on [FIL]’s biological mother’s side there’s some good ones too
G: here’s Vince’s [link]
J: well, you’re kin to W and he’s kin to Laura. How convenient!
G: one big family!
G: I’m glad I wasn’t named after Shrewsberry [Last Name]
J: oh, come on. Everyone would remember you!
G: yeah but Shrew for short
G: it’s a man btw
J: that’s what you shoulda named Boy2 or Boy1
G: I predict you will be getting a visitor
J: i’ll be having a visitor?
G: yes, you will be having a visitor…any minute
J: my visitor just left
G: I’m psychic aren’t I?
J: yes, you are. now if you can just figure out WHY I had a visitor\
G: I know, I have NO clue. I know he was paying you for whatever you got but I really cannot fathom what I need that badly!! LOL
J: so I guess the grey area has turned to black or white with your dad?
J: i told you the bird is in the nest.
G: I mean the video iPod, I had an inkling–I’d at least hinted for it. But then I was convinced he didn’t get it. But I honestly don’t know!
G: a new house? My new double wide trailer? what’s a nest? LOL
G: yes, I guess today grey has turned to black or white. I don’t get it!
J: man, you guessed it! he got you a double wide and I pulled it home last night behind my car. Geeze. We can’t surprise you at all!
J: maybe they knew you could turn into a b*tch and were afraid of you so decided to move him
G: could be. Just that dirty, exasperated look I gave the doctor?
G: wow, Saddam is gonna get it today or tomorrow! That was fast
G: why don’t they move that fast here?
J: i know. i’m glad he’s gettin it, too.
J: Vince told me i should get the blackberry type phone.
G: he shouldn’t….because then I’m gonna have to have one!!
G: I just texted [brother] that George W is our 9th Cousin on the [last name]side and he texted back “What?!?!?!”
J: i think this is the other phone i can get [link]
J: [brother]’s head may explode!
G: I know…I love being the bearer of bad news..haven’t told him Ronald Reagan or Richard Nixon yet!
J: you know, Walt Disney is also your cousin. You should see if the family can swing you a deal.
G: no lie, think I can call and say that?
J: sure. why not? you have proof. It’s on the internets.
G: well now I see…this one dude had 20 some kids with 2+ women…
G: [link]
J: i am just about to fall asleep.
G: LOL
G: you could research your genealogy with this free trial
J: did you know that all i know about my dad’s family is that his dad’s name was [J's Dad's Name]. I didn’t even know that until he died and someone called to make sure my dad wasn’t dea.
J: dead.
G: well, how old was he? when/where was he born? you never know..someone else out there might have the info…some cousin or something
J: Honestly I have NO idea. He left when my dad was a baby and daddy never talks about him.
J: and on my mom’s side, my great grandmother died before we could get everything out of her. if i had been older i would have made sure that we learned all we could but she died when i was in high school and i didn’t really care about my heritage back then.
G: do you knwo what year your grandfather died?
G: I mean I found Vince’s family’s info with (shockingly) no help from anyone!
J: i don’t remember. I’m sure if i asked daddy he’d tell me what i want to know.
J: I know he died when we were still in [town]and i was in college so it was probably 95 or 96. i remember i was standing in the kitchen fixing to wash my hair in the sink when W called and asked, jokingly, if my dad was still alive. isn’t it funny how you remember things like that?
G: in Texas…he was in Texas?
J: this one here wants to charge me. which one is free?
G: no, you have to have “special” access
J: OHHHH… can I be “special”?
J: you know, we could be kin to each other way back. My great grandmother’s family came here from Italy.
G: ? [J's Dad's Name] [Dates] [Town]
J: No, he lived in [Town[
G: I'm looking at Social Security records on another site I belong to...there are lotsa [J's Dad's Name]s
J: it is so weird to think that my last name has nothing to do with my life. Man, that just hit me.
J: I have no idea what kind of people I am kin to. That is so weird.
G: could be someone *really* famous
G: these 3 are the only [J's Dad's Name]s dying in 1995/6
J: hmmm…
G: that was his last residence?
G: There are poeple in my front yard
J: that’s nice
J: are they nice?
G: yeah, “hey how ya doing?”
G: No, they’re just nosing around. WTF?
G: I mean if they’re intersted int he house fine, but call a freakin realtor
G: [link]
G: There’s no [Last Name]s that died in 1995 or 1996 in [County]…wait, 2 women in 1996
J: i found my dad’s uncle Elmo
G: oh, I saw hi
G: m
G: I was going to say, “Are you sure his name wans’t really elmo?”
J: could have been!
J: [UPS] was just here. he said, “I hear you’re babysitting!”
G: LOL…Boy2 told him
G: among other things
J: i told him that Boy1 kicked Dog
G: Did I tell you about the report I made Boy1 write about kicking dogs? I need to copy it.
J: no. I’d like to read it. i bet it’s very enlightening.
G: LOL
G: you could say that
J: I’m not kin to anyone famous!
G: bummer
G: but that’s because you don’t know who your ancestors are

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G: My dog is RETARDED
G: he’s AFRAID of a hula hoop! Aren’t [dog breeds]  supposed to jump through them?
J: maybe that’s why he’s afraid of it. The pressure he knows he’s going to be under to jump through it!
G: I mean I put a TREAT in it and he won’t go get it.
J: lol!
J: here’s how bored i am. i’m watching High School Musical
G: LOL, I’ll send Boy2 over. He loves that
J: it’s actually pretty cute
J: i doubt my boyish friendish person would ever watch it with me so Boy2 will be my man!
G: okay, how pathetic is this? http://www.dogster.com/
J: um, pretty pathetic
J: are you thinking of getting Dog his own page?
G: no! LOL
G: sorry, I had to read stories
J: i’m sure that was way more fun that i’ve been having!
G: we’re gonna bowl as soon as the boys are asleep.
G: Except I need a shower
J: i watched this whole movie and they don’t even show the musical????
G: wait what? I never really paid attention but I thought at the end they did a show?
J: nope. no show.
G: Okay, there’s something REALLY screwed up here!!!!
G: my microphone hole
J: your microphone hole?
J: sounds like a personal problem to me
G: sorry, I was showing Vince
J: woah
G: If I talk into the HOLE for the microphone plug….
J: i don’t want to hear anymore!
G: it comes out the speakers
J: and how did you figure that out?
G: Um, because I was trying to watch the end of High Musical on my DVD and htere was no vocal….just the background
G: music
G: so I was messin with the sound and it showed the mic volume was muted…..
G: and Ihave to do my volume through the windows controls b/c the geeks broke my volume button
G: or something–it no longer works
G: so I know the mic volume is not usually muted
G: so I unmuted it and I was sitting here and I could hear myself typing and using the mouse–amplified.
J: hmmm. interesting.
G: yeah, now I can sing along
G: my own kareoke
J: well, that’ll be fun!
G: let’s bowl, let’s bowl, let’s rock n roll! hey come on let’s get the show on the road
G: let’s bowl, let’s bowl, let’s rock n roll! we’re sittin on a bomb that’s about to explooooode!
G: we’re gonna scor-or-ore tonight. we’re gonna scor-or-ore ton-hight.
J: FINE. Someday I will watch that movie just so I can sing along!
G: we’re gonna rock we’re gonna roll we’re gonna bop we’re gonna bowl we’re gonna scor-or-or-or-oreeeee! TO-Night!
G: LOL
G: if you’re gonna watch High School Musical you might as well watch this other crap too
J: do you have it?
G: I don’t think I do
G: Vince says to tell you we’re doing nude bowling
G: but I think you know better
G: I just got a strike though. My 2nd try
J: i wanna bowl!
G: maybe tomorrow we should have a bowling party
G: STRIKE!
J: maybe we should
J: whoo hooo!!!
J: i sucked when we went bowling the other night. Bob kicked everyone’s butt.
G: I’m not very good either
G: but my mom sucks at real bowling–even with the bumpers up
G: so there’s hope
G: Okay, Vince won but that’s the 1st time I played
G: But I just did the tennis. It ROCKS
J: how many games do ya’ll have?
G: of course I really get into it. Vince’s just standing there swinging but I was in the stance and jumping all over. Hit my knee on the coffee table
J: lol!
G: well, it comes with tthis sports…bowling, tennis, golf, baseball…I think 5
G: then Av got…LEGEND OF ZELDA: TWILIGHT PRINCESS (wooooo)
G: madden Football 07
J: wonderful
G: Boy2 got Cars & Spongebob
G: Boxing!!! That’s the 5th
G: but there’s this fitness thing
G: We’re just looking at it
G: like I need the computer to tell me I”m out of shape
G: I think it is actually just teaching you how to do the games
J: LOL. have you seen the Kia commercial singing that “Aidu, farewell…” song from Sound of Music?
G: yes
J: if my computer could just keep track of how many hours i’m online a week it could very easily tell me just how out of shape i am.
G: true
G: okay, I”m gonna shower after my workout
G: brb
J: k
G: ok
G: I don’t think I have enough cords….ipod, ipod nano
G: earplugs
J: i know. don’t forget your camera
G: oh yeah but I don’t have that plugged in a the moment…the other things are.
J: i need a new smile.
G: Vince says, “Are you sure that’s a plug and not a built in microphone?”
G: Um, I’ve had this laptop 6 months have I not?
G: I mean I’m a girl but I’m not stupid
J: are you still singing into it?
G: Nope, I shoudl though
J: man, i am so tired. i’m going to take a sinus pill and go to bed.
G: wow
G: okay
G: fine.
J: wow what?
G: I took 2 Tylenol PM tonight.
G: wow, you’re an old lady
G: and I’m gonna be here all alone watching Seinfeld
J: I tried to find Tylenol PM at WM and couldn’t find any!
G: sheesh
J: Oh, have I told you that Bob goes to bed at like 10:00?
G: it’s with the Tylenol! And they have Advil PM and Tylenol PM with no Tylenol, just PM
G: no
J: he and Vince will be snoozin’ while we’re chattin’
G: perfect
J: i guess i was looking in the wrong area or something. i was so tired i really didn’t look that hard. i fell asleep earlier here in my chair.
G: LOL
J: i am an old woman and i am going to bed without shame.
G: okay good night granny
J: nighty night young lady
G: nite!!

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G: are you SURE you don’t want to date my brother?? I could send him over right now!
J: i never said i didn’t want to date him. you did
J: just kidding.
G: LOL
G: trust me
J: oh, i do!
G: Okay, so one of the greatest movies all times is on…Sound of Music
G: and he whines
G: until we change it
G: and he puts it on Vacation
J: i was watching that. come over!
G: not Christmas Vacation, just Vacation
G: which is a great movie as well BUT
J: ugh. who wants to watch that for the 5000th time?
G: right
G: I mean if nothing else were on I’d be giddy
G: but there’s something better on
G: so now, where is he? Not watching
J: well, i’m watching it so i’ll just let you know they are having the party right now.
G: SANTA’S COMING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G: SANTA!!!!!!!!!!
J: WHOOO HOOOO!!!!! Santa got to my house about an hour ago!
G: LOL.
G: Boy1 was making me nuts
J: what was he doing?
G: just NOT going to sleep
G: “I have a cough”
G: your basic bullshit excuses
J: is he not going to midnight mass?
G: well, we’re not going. Because [brother] is sick and Boy2 was exhausted but either way he has to go to bed now
J: what’s wrong with [brother]?:
G: he’s a man and he has the sniffles so he’s dying
J: ugh. i hope my boyfriend isn’t a wimp like that
G: well, dont count on it
J: look how cute baby [name] was today
J: he looked like a little paper boy
G: LOL!! How cute!!
J: and look how cute i was!
G: sorry, he’s cuter.
J: thanks.
G: nice hair though.
J: that’s what i was going to say. check out my hair.
G: SOMEONE is still awake
G: I took 2 Tylenol PM at 9pm b/c I have a splitting headache. Santa really isn’t going to come!!
J: i am so lucky. my brother bought my dad the entire whatever of the Honeymooners. Daddy brought them. Guess what we’re watching.
J: that’s what i meant to get at WM last night. some Tylenol PM. I think I need to start taking some before i go to bed.
G: I can hook you up
J: so, should i be sad if my friend who is a boy doesn’t call me on Christmas?
G: well if he doesn’t call you then YOU call HIM.
J: well, that’s what i was thinking. knowing how he loves to talk on the phone i don’t look for him to call.
J: so [name] blabbed to my family that i had a boyfriend.
J: i had to call my grandma and confess.
G: LOL
J: did i tell you that the other night Bob said he needed a maid to do his dishes and wear one of those naughty little maid outfits. i told him to hire someone to do the dishes and i’d take care of the rest
G: hee heee!
J: hahaha. like that would happen.
J: maybe.
J: i’m too fat for one of those outfits anyway.
G: no you’re not. boys don’t want to hear you say that either
G: ask Vince
J: i know. i’ve had to stop myself from talking like that. i’m trying to be positive.
J: i’ll be that way until i hook him
G: lol
J: oh, and my toe is worse now than it was before. the bruise looks nasty and nothing comes out when i stab the needle down there.
J: i took a picture of my toe. wanna see???????
G: okay, sure!!
J: okay, hang on.
G: The boys forgot to put out milk & cookies!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: oh no!
G: I’m gonna write a note…..”Where the hell are my fucking cookies?? Love, Santa”
J: LOL
J: okay, i have two views
G: great
J: from far away
G: eewww
J: and closer up
G: where’s the cringing smiley?
J: i think it’s on my toe.
J: you’re such a kind and compassionate friend!
G: LOL..
G: seriously I had to close it because I was shuddering
J: i’m terrified that i’m going to have to go back to the dr. and have her “take care of it”
G: um, you’ll let me pick at it first
J: wonder if Bob would doctor my toe for me?
G: Boy1 and I both love to pick at things.
G: We’ll give you some whiskey and pick at it
J: i’d need some whiskey
J: i poked the needle in it earlier and nothing came out like it did before.
J: and it’s kinda red down at the very bottom like there’s blood or something down there. i wish my toe would just fall off. surely it wouldn’t hurt nearly as bad.
G: yuck. That’s gonna take a long time to heal
J: think it’ll snow tomorrow?
G: I hope so!!
J: me too
J: i’ve never had a white christmas
G: well then I *really* hope it does!!
G: I remember one year it was really bad and we couldn’t go out. THey cancelled church & everything
G: I mean I was like in 5th grade but….
J: just think… this could be my first christmas with a boyfriend AND my first white christmas. maybe this could turn out to be my year after all!
G: totally!!!
J: i opened one of my presents. it was a new can opener!
J: i think my dad is fixing to pee in his pants
G: LOL
G: sorry
G: that’s a great gift
G: Vince thinks he’s getting one
G: b/c he bought that shitty one and we all hate it
J: well, i did ask for it. mine was so crappy and i was just too cheap to buy a new one. hmm… crap. sounds like me and Vince have more in common than i’d ever want to admit.
G: LOL.
G: Okay, I’m in bed.
G: I thought I felt my Tylenol PM kicking in and got up to get everything done and now I don’t feel tired at all.
J: i feel like i could go to sleep any second now.
G: I just want my headache to go away
J: i had a headache earlier. during the candle light service. not fun.
G: I got pajamas for Christmas–early [link]
J: those are cute!
G: aren’t they? Vince did well
G: he thinks I don’t like them, but I do
G: I would tell YOU if I hated them at least! LOL. No really, I wouldn’t have PUT THEM ON if I hated them. I’d come up with some excuse and take them back
J: that’s true
G: I normally don’t like flannel because it snags on your dry skin & hairy legs but this is soft
J: well, we are now on our 4th installment of The Honeymooners. Every one my dad says, “I think i’ve see this one.” My mom says, “[Dad], we’ve seen all of these.”

J: they are getting old.
G: Like in Back to the Future…where he says its a rerun
J: i need to hurry up and have grandkids before they totally lose their minds.
G: LOL!!!!
G: no, really…my mom has lost her mind….and yet, she enjoys the boys
J: you may have to call me tomorrow and tell me there’s an emergency and you need me to come over. Otherwise I might poke my eyes out if we have to watch the other SIX DVDs
G: LOL. Okay, I can do it. Just send me the beep

J: Norton on the Honeymooners is eating a Kumquat.
G: hee hee kumquat
J: my boyfriend would take me to Kansas City.
J: how exciting.
G: yeah, I’d ASSume they were a couple then
G: Kansas City has GOOD shopping Jen!!!
J: and i think he does kinda feel bad. friday night he was like, “you know i would take you if i hadn’t already asked my friend,” and “i made these plans long before i even knew you.”
G: that’s sweet
J: he did say he’d call me from the strip club, though so i guess it’s nice that he’ll be thinking about me.
G: lol
J: he better not be going to no strip club@
J: man, i got that new battery for my phone yesterday. well, i charged it all night last night and it’s already showing the yellow battery with only one bar. i think there’s something wrong with this phone or something. good grief!
G: that’s weird
G: very weird
G: okay, why did Vince have to wait downstairs with my Christmas present?
G: I came up how long ago but he said he had to stay down there for a while
J: i know. and it’s not making that annoying sound anymore, but it does have a fuzzy sound in the background sometimes.
G: I asked him if it was a puppy? If he was waiting til it was asleep??
G: he says no.
J: well, i know what he got you but i can’t imagine what he’s doing.
G: and I do believe him
G: Vince wants to know if your mom has used the soap
J: he’s funny.
J: well, i guess we’re all going to bed.
J: i can’t wait till you get your present from Vince. i’m quite jealous, btw.
G: oh, did your mom say you had to?
G: LOL
G: Oh goody…now I won’t sleep!!!
J: and i’m so proud of you for not trying to get me to tell you what it is!
G: hee hee…thanks
G: I’m proud of myself for not logging on to our online credit card statement or really sneaking
G: I’m gonna be really surpised…all I’ve figured out is the can of chili and the boots
J: well, this is much better than both of those put together.
G: LOL, yay
J: one of the teachers got me this really cool picture frame thing with 8 different 5×7 frames all in one bundle, kwim?
G: okay, I should get to sleep too…if I can
G: yeah.
G: I need one of those!
J: i really like it. i’ve been wanting one. patience has really been paying off for me lately. i must be doing something right!
G: good for you
J: okay, go to sleep and santa will be here when you wake up. i’m going to do the same.
G: yay…good night. Merry Christmas. I’ll talk to you tomorrow for sure. If you need to come over call me…and vice versa
J: lol. sounds good. nite!
G: “When’s J gonna come over to play bowling??
J: have you played it yet?
G: no
G: I’m just watching
G: Boy2 kicked everyone else’s butt at bowling though. You gotta watch out for the little ones
J: good for him!
J: so did you like your present?
G: YES
G: I’m downloading. an episode of….Spongebob….LOL I couldn’t think of antyhing I wanted to download
G: I swear the sound is 10x better on this too.
J: so my dad wants to know what we’re going to do now.
G: LOL!!!
G: Um, yeah….
G: ya’ll can all come over and play the Wii!
G: that’s funny
J: Dad-”I wonder if there’s a service station open?”
G: Conoco is open
J: Jen- “What do you need at a service station?”
J: dad “I need to buy gas”
G: LOL
J: It’s going to be a LLLOOONNNGGG day
G: so did you get anything good?
G: or did you just tell them what to get you?
J: um, i got a pair of shoes, a book, a special edition version of Dirty Dancing, a cute little door hook thing, my camera and some $$$$
G: $$$ is always the best
J: Bob is going to love the Dirty Dancing DVD
G: I’m SURE!
G: LOL
G: oh no, this thing has boxing.
G: that’s hilarious
J: oh, boy. that’s going to be fun.
G: I may need that actually
J: we’re watching Babes in Toyland.
G: what is it on? Not that I”m going to get the TV anytime soon
J: my DVD
G: oh!
J: i think my toe is going to fall off. seriously.
J: tell me about your boots!
G: oh, they’re really cute
G: let me see if I can find a picture of them.
G: sheesh, he already threw the box out. That would help in finding the name.
J: where did he get them?
G: *shrug*
G: theyre North Face
G: so I didn’t even have you guess what time my children (Boy1) woke up this morning
G: this is what time they woke up, not what time we got up.
J: i couldn’t even begin to imagine.
G: yeah, you’d never guess it was
G: TWO AM
G: I wanted to beat him
J: Good Lord!!!
G: and he woke up everyone (except Vince)
G: and he had lights on and everything
G: I had to keep sending him back to bed. It was awful. We’re all having naps later
J: i would have told him that Santa was still in China!
J: Oh great. I called my grandma and she just told my dad that AMC is having westerns all day. I’m coming over!
G: LOL
J: Oh, I got a $50 gift card to Kohls and $100 to NY & Co. from the [work]. And a guy gave me $200 yesterday morning!
G: wow!!
G: $200? for what? singin’???
J: so i’ve decided i want some tall brown cuffed boots with a pointy heel. I can only find them with a chunky heel.
J: yep. he just wanted me to know how much he appreciated me.
J: it was that [Harry Potter Character Name] guy from the billboard.
G: wow, did I vote for him?
J: this is the forest of no return… those who stumble in… those who tumble in… never can get out…
J: he wasn’t in our district.
G: *pant* I got to play boxing for a minute
G: before someone saw how much fun I was havin and took it away
J: are your mom & [brother] over?
G: Oh, I know he wasn’t…wasn’t he running for JP?
J: well, i’ll have to come over some day when the boys are in school and we can play to our hearts content!
G: Not yet…any time. we’re making french toast and eggs & bacon
J: yes, for JP. and he won.
J: mmm… i’ll be over in five minutes!
J: did you see that james brown died?
G: yes
G: that’s so sad.
G: I’ll have to play my James brown songs on my iPod if I ever get it back
J: lol!
J: are you going to give Vince your old one?
G: yeah, I guess I should!
G: I’m trying to figure how to get something from DVD to my iPod
J: i told dad that [restaurant buffet] l is going to be open… “Really? Well, we’ll just go out there”
G: LOL
G: works for me
J: Zappos.com has vegetarian shoes.
J: THIS is why I could never be a vegetarian http://www.zappos.com/n/p/dp/17300989/c/26416.html
G: I saw that somewhere when I was looking for the booots
G: LOL
J: what’s wrong with this paragraph? Caseworkers for the Texas Department of Child Protective Services have investigated the welfare and safety of Detress Richmond’s children at least eight times in the last 12 years. But the state never found a reason to remove the children until Friday, after her 9-year-old son stabbed a 2-year-old girl to death.
J: drives me insane nuts!
J: i love that “Never found a reason to remove the children until Friday” part.
G: I don’t understand why we’re so lenient with people who do bad things…like that. or someone with a DUI getting a slap on the wrist or any of that. I should go to law school
G: I know…and now someone is dead…okay, I guess something WAS really wrong.
J: i know. we should both go to law school and lobby to have stiffer DUI laws and outlaw 15 passenger vans!
J: they could do a lifetime movie of the week about us!
G: totally
G: LOL, poor Dog
G: his ball is really close to the fire place
G: and he won’t go get it
J: oh, has everyone forgotten about him with the new Wii?
G: but he’ll get like an inch from it, he just won’t follow through and grab it
J: poor baby!
J: go help him!
G: fine!
J: and tell him aunt J said she would help him if she were there!
G: I did. I told him he had you to thank
G: so you can’t legally copy a DVD and put it on your iPod

G: okay!! what kind of puppy?
J: a pursey one!
G: http://img.ziply.com/img/us/image/640m-480m/45279.jpg
J: is there another kind for me?
G: how about a dog that will carry your purse? http://www.socalpetshop.com/dogs/ZW392.jpg
G: http://images.victoriantrading.com/store/catalogimages/22w/22w83.jpg
J: um, i’ll carry my own purse, thank you
G: http://images.victoriantrading.com/store/catalogimages/22w/22w83.jpg
G: oops
G: not that
G: http://www.doggiftboneanza.com/store/WsDefault.asp?Cat=BreedDogPictureHandbags&Sub=156&isThumbs=No&Thumbs=
J: maybe i should start out with one of those and see if i can keep up with it before i get a live one
G: can you see me carrying this? http://www.doggiftboneanza.com/fpdb/images/handbagbordercollies.jpg
G: LOL, that’s a plan
J: and Bob, being practical and all will probably say, much like my father, “what are you going to do with a dog? do you know how much responsiblity they are?”
G: or here….http://www.eldoradoliving.com/dougpoodlepurse.jpg
J: i’d give a hundred dollars to see you carry a purse like that out in public.
G: Don’t tempt me
J: lol
G: [SIL]said she’d give me $100 the other night if I put my mouth under the soft serve ice cream machine. If Boy2 hadn’t run out the door and into the parking lot I’d have done it.
G: just to make her pay me $100
J: people should know better than to pull that on you. you’d do just about anything for $100. well, probably me too!
G: yeah, I know. Still kicking myself
G: If the restaurant served booze I’d be $100 richer b/c I’d surely have done it
G: how about this? http://www.majesticbayoupoodles.com/images/homepage/tiny_teacup_poodle.jpg it’s weirdly ugly yet cute
G: http://www.majesticbayoupoodles.com/puppies_for_sale.html
J: that one looks like an ardvark
J: those poodles are soo cute!
G: well, [lady] has gone through many of those from around here somewhere. if you seriously want one I can find the name
G: [brother] just gave Boy1 his Zelda game
J: well, while the poodles are really cute, if i’m going to get one it’ll be the little terrier like i’ve always wanted.
J: oh, lord
G: “You lied to me that it was a DVD but I respect that.”
J: LOL
G: Okay, we’re gonna eat.
J: okay
G: I’ll be back sometime. Enjoy your Westerns.
J: oh, yeah. i will!
G: so [brother] downloaded two episodes of the Office (that I’ve already seen) and watched them on my iPod
J: have you got to watch anything yet?
G: nope
G: well, I mean I watched some of the Spongebob I downloaded it
J: my mom just said she thinks she needs an iPod. I told her that she could have mine…
J: of course, and she could buy me a new one. she doesn’t need a souped up one!
G: yeah, that works well
G: no, exactly
J: are the boys still playing the Wii?
G: no, we’re having a break
G: trying to get Boy2 to lay down. he’s exhausted
G: actually, now that you say that, I think [brother]’s on it
J: i bet. how’s dog on his first christmas?
G: C and I are upstairs
G: well, he’s in the crate at the moment. He’s tried to eat Legos and stuff. But he’s been good.
G: this morning he was more tired than the boys…I’m sure every move Boy1 made last night woke him up
G: he came and laid his head in my lap
J: how sweet
J: well, i’ve already put all my Christmas stuff up.
G: LOL, seriously?
G: I’m ready to but I’m trying to hold off
J: i knew if i didn’t do it now it’d be next year before i got to it.
J: well, and not that my mom did that much, she kinda helped find boxes and stuff so that made it go quicker.
J: and i rearranged my living room
G: okey doke
J: we went to eat at [restaurant buffet] for lunch
G: not good?
G: that sucks
J: it was not good for me.
J: the stuffing was dry and they didn’t have any good desserts
G: they didn’t have chicken strips?
J: no chicken strips.
J: OH. Friday night Bob made these chicken pita things and i ate the Feta Cheese and the veggies he put in it without even turning up my nose.
G: yay for you
G: so was it good? I forgot to ask that. Is he a good cook??
J: yeah, it was really good.
J: i’m worried that he’ll decide he doesn’t like me after he tastes my cooking.
G: LOL
G: I’ll teach you
G: all you do is get a recipe book and follow the directions!!!
J: i’m sure i’m not that bad, but, you know my fear about making people sick with my cooking
J: i told him i wanted to name my daughter Hermione and i don’t think he cared for that idea much (i just saw a picture of her, btw, that’s what made me think of it)
G: LOL
J: did Boy2 get his golf club washer?
G: yes, and let me tell you, he was EXCITED about it!!!!!!!!1
G: So I want to borrow your Devil Wears Prada
J: okay.
J: i’m trying to talk my mom into the iPod thing… at first she said she wouldn’t even know how to use one. then she says, “how much are iPods?”
G: LOL…
G: oh, not much
G: I know, I let my mom listen to all my Frank Sinatra
J: i just want one with more GB so i can put more CDs on it and get rid of all these stupid CDs I have junking up my living room.
J: has Vince taken over your old one yet?
G: not yet
J: well, when he does don’t let him think my cord is yours!
G: I won’t, he knows
G: I told him, “I guess I don’t need to buy a cord now” It’s the same cord, we can share it
J: there you go
J: well, i kept having to catch myself ’cause i wanted to say that a couple of times when you were talking about it
G: LOL
G: oh man, my mom makes these sweet appetizers…it’s like cheese whiz and breadcrumbs baked around a green olive
J: mmm. i’m having a piece of fudge.
G: [brother]’s talking to the Wii game
G: “hurry!”
J: lol!
G: I should be ripping Little Mermaid. Then I could give it back to you
J: yeah. or RENT.
G: LOL
G: now my mom’s got my iPod…see
J: i know how you feel… i’d like to watch my Dirty Dancing DVD but no, i’m watching The Honeymooners
G: [brother] just asked if she wanted one
G: “I don’t know how to do that”
G: Just plug it into your computer.
G: “Well how does the music get in your computer??”
G: magic
J: lol. our moms…
G: okay, I’m doing Little Mermaid now
G: did I tell you about that 20Q(uestions) thing we got Boy1? For his stocking?
J: No. But I was going to get you one of those for your birthday!
G: LOL.
G: darn!
G: Vince’s playing it right now
G: I’m gonna take the dog out.
J: k’
G: he’s been in the crate a while and I’ve eaten so much I need to walk
G: bbl
G: what game should I download for my iPod?
G: Grandma’s beating everyone at Wii bowling!
J: LOL!!!
G: Boy2: “Dad you’re getting killed by a woman.”
J: LOL!!!
J: are you videoing any of it?
G: I haven’t played yet BTW!
G: No, I should be, shouldn’t I?
J: man, I don’t want to be a mom. You don’t get to play with your iPod OR the Wii!
J: You should be videoing it. If something great happens you can put it on You Tube!
G: LOL. I know
G: Okay, I video’d a little
J: so, I talked to my, dare I say, boyfriend?
G: She beat Vince 209 to 130
G: did you call him?
J: awesome!
J: Yes, I finally caved. But when he answered he said, “Hey, I was fixing to call you”. If I had been just a little more patient. Oh, well.
G: that’s okay. You CAN make the first move sometimes
G: OMG, I’m so freaking hot. We’ve had a fire going all day.
G: okay, seriously I’m going to change. I’m sweating
G: tell me what your boyish friendish person had to say
J: boyish friendish person… that’s a good one.
G: LOL
J: well, he said a lot more than he’s ever said to me on the phone before. he’s already on his way home…um… told him i got my hair cut. “tell me it’s not short”. I told him he’d have to wait and find out.
J: he said he was excited about his magazine. i told him I was too.
G: hee hee..you guys are so cute
J: my dad has it on the Discovery Channel. they are having a documentary about paranas.
J: or how ever you spell it.
G:
J: yeah, i know.
G: man, this sucks
J: well, and then he asked me if i thought my toe was broken ’cause i was whining about how bad it hurt. well, not really whining, but just mentioning it.
G: I’ve got Little Mermaid on my iPod and there’s no sound!!!!!
G: I’ve done it twice
J: you can’t have the Little Mermaid with no sound!
J: Maybe that’s how they keep you from ripping it
G: well but I’m using the software that’s supposed to let you do that
J: hmmm…
J: OH I forgot to tell you who was at our candlelight communion last night. [bitch]!
G: praise the lord!
J: lol
G: She NEEDS church!
J: yes she does. her dad used to be one of our board members and they were really involved in the church.
J: i nearly choked when i saw her walk up.
J: funny thing was she came through twice. i guess once was to get the juice and cracker for someone else, but I thought, “Man, she could use a double dose!”
G: LOL
G: NO SECONDS!!!!!!!!!
J: LOL!!!
J: I think Bob Garcia is gay.
J: he’s wearing lip gloss
G: His teeth are awfully….
G: Mom: “He’s kind of a doofus isn’t he?’
J: he beat the cowboys so i think he’s doubly gay right now.
G: hee hee
G: check ESPN
J: my dad has the remote
G: Michael Irvin has a checkered crushed velvet suit
G: blue & black
G: with a red tie
J: i think steve young is cute
G: he is
G: there’s Michael
J: oh, wow. that is quite a suit
G: You really need a close up to appreciate it
J: if i have to install my iPod software one more time i’m going to scream.
J: wow.
J: that suit.
J: you would never see emmit smith in a suit like that
G: true
G: Deion Sanders maybe
J: oh, yeah. absoultley Deion
J: i don’t want my mommy and daddy to go home
G: Well they stayed longer than you expected!!
J: yeah, that’s true
J: my dad has never seen Radio
G: um, I haven’t either.
J: but you’re not my dad, the prince of loving sappy football movies
G: okay, good point
J: there are very few movies my dad will watch. sappy football ones are those.
J: well, my boyish friendish person and I would be a two dog family if i ever get my pursey dog.
G: well, your pursey dog doesn’t count as a whole dog
J: lol
J: Bob’s dog is not mean, but he could eat my little Audrey in one bite.
G: well, something to think about
J: think Dog would try to eat her?
G: um
G: no
J: or would he be scared of her?
G: LOL. No,he’s not a weenie anymore
G: yesterday at my mom’s the house across had a border collie in their pen behind their house. Not sure if she’s there visiting or we’ve just never seen her. He let her have it.
J: good for him
J: it’s about time he toughens up
J:
G: no, he’s not a weenie anymore. I don’t know what happened.
J: i’ll brb. i have to reboot my computer.
G: ok
J: we can call Vietnam for $.10 a minute with our yahoo messenger phone thingie.
G: good to know
J: yeah, i thought you might want to know.
G: yeah, trying to think of anyone I know in Vietnam
G: okay, so Dog is a little scared of Cat
J: well, he does have a history with him
G: sorry, but the Cowboys deserve Terrell Owens.
G: He’s a moron
J: yes he is.
G: the dog farted
J: gross
G: I’m sure it was those olive & cheese appetizers he had earlier
J: gross!
G: Okay, I’m trying this Little Mermaid thing ONE more time and then I’m splurging on software
J: my dad has this uncanny ability to turn the channel just when something is getting good.
G: sounds very familiar
G: VERY
J: yeah, maybe it’s just a man thing?
J: don’t laugh but I think Ed Harris is quite attractive.
G: there’s something strangely hot about him
G: Okay, why do I have these songs on my iTunes and yet I can’t find them existing anywhere else
J: hmm…
J: I should get this to support my boyish friendish person http://www.phonestyle.com/Motorola/covers/snap-on/v3-kansas-city.jpg
J: yeah, i’m not, though. too bad i’m not that kinda girl.
G: Bill Cosby’s stand-up is on…Himself? I remember when I was younger this was funny but now it’s all about parenthood and the son is 11 and it’s sooo relevant.
G: “…the brain damaged children….”
J: i can hear him saying that.
J: so, my diet officially starts tomorrow.
J: am i going to have to start having lunch alone now????
G: yeah, me too!! holy cow. I’ve been so bad
G: No, I promise
G: Especially once school starts.
G: I know Wednesday I’m going out with Angie
J: oh, yeah. she came to church sunday morning
G: tomorrow I dunno…my mom is going to make me CRAZY trying to plan stuff
J: plan what stuff?
G: whatever..just every minute of every day
G: Luckily once [brother] leaves she may leave me alone
G: brb
G: nevermind
G: the dog wants to go to bed but before I could get up Vince took him
J: well, how nice of him!
J: is your mom & bro still there?
G: YES
G: I’m TIRED
J: are the boys still going?
G: no, they’re out…long ago
J: they may be up at 6:00 tomorrow
G: what time is it? I have no idea
J: well, when you asked it was 8:24. Now is
J: it is 8:30
G: holy crap…I’m ready for bed. I thought it was like 10
J: lol
J: my dad doesn’t even know what happened on this movie and he’s crying
J: don’t tell Vince ’cause he’ll make fun of me (like you won’t) but i was cleaning out my DVD/VCR tapes and I found about 10 [show]’s videos. I threw them all away.
J: I also found a video tape of the 1998 CMA awards.
G: LOL
G: and LOL
G: we’ve got a bunch of [show]’s videos in the basement
J: i love my new straightner. thanks to you and your stories i got the extended warranty through sally’s, though.
G: good idea
G: what brand is it? The Chi?
J: no, it’s not a Chi. i’m not sure what brand it is but it cost $89.99 so it better be a good one!
G: I figured [hairdresser] made you get the Chi..LOL. She’s always lectured me on that
J: she told me to get one, but they didn’t have them.
J: i can’t wait to get my hair colored. i love [friend] and i think she does a great job, but [hairdresser] seems to be a little more hip, kwim?
G: yes, totally
G: I’m always like that
G: I won’t let someone do my hair unless I like theirs. LOL
G: That’s why I’m glomming on to [other hair dresser] like Iam
J: and the salon [hairdresser]’s in is really cute.
G: yeah, it is
J: i said something about her doing the boys hair and she said, “yeah, but G hasn’t let me do her’s yet” and kinda laughed
G: I know, it isn’t personal! I swear. It’s just [other hairdresser] was HERE
G: and now that she’s not…I will probably just go to [hairdresser]
G: but b/c she’s here every 6 weeks([other hairdresser]) it’s still working okay
J: my phone battery has stayed charged all day so maybe my battery is healed.
G: yay
G: you know, I’ve plugged mine in and had it drain
G: and I’ve plugged it in and done nothing
G: and then I jiggle it or remove it or whatever and it’s all right again
G: okay, last try on the Little Mermaid and it still didn’t work
J: have you tried it on the tv to make sure that it still has volume on it???
G: tried what?
J: tried to watch it on the tv to see if it still has sound. maybe that’s what i shoulda said
G: the DVD?
J: yes. i’m trying to be silly here and you’re making it really hard!
G: I’m TIRED! LOL! Don’t fuck with me!!!!!!! LOL. YES, the volume is still on your DVD, it hasn’t worn off.
J: lol
J: okay.
J: this guy on Deal or No Deal looks kinda like Fat Albert.
G: We’re watching Biloxi Blues
G: well, that’s what’s on the TV
G: Vince’s watching his Queen DVD and I’m watching Little Mermaid for the moment
G: Vince just asked me why I needed to rip the DVDs
G: Well why the hell did you buy me a VIDEO iPod?
G: WTF?
G: “Can’t you download them?”
J: lol!
G: Yeah, and pay for them each time
G: or each movie
G: I’m thinking this is where Netflix will come in handy
J: speaking of… i have A Prarie Home Companion that I haven’t watched yet
G: we have Supersize Me
J: have you seen this Grease thing?
G: it says if I buy this one software I get this thing http://www.engadget.com/2006/05/18/myvu-lcd-goggles-for-ipod-reviewed/ free
G: I’ve seen teh commercials…it’s not on yet is it?
J: no, it comes on on January 7th
J: the same night as the new Apprentice
G: oh boy
J: well heck. i’d buy the software just to get those!
J: you could wear those while you carry your new [dog breed] purse
G: Yeah, great idea
G: look at this stuff…isn’t it neat?
J: i love that song!
G: me too
G: crap, my head hurts too bad to figure this out
J: you’ve had a long, busy day!
G: it *says* 1-click direct DVD to iPod video conversion
J: liars, huh?
G: no, I think it’s just me being braindead
G: I’m trying again
G: because I’m more stubborn than headached
G: it worked!
J: yay!
G: I’ve got gadgets & gizmos a plenty
G: I’ve got whoozits and whatsits galoreeee
J: you want thingamabobs? i got twenty
J: but who cares? no big deal. I want more…
G: I’m really singing it
G: LOL. Vince was like “DOES IT WORK?”
J: thanks to you, so am i
G: yes!
G: I bet you sound better than I do though!
G: I cant’ wait to rip Grease! and Sound of Music! LOL
J: have you ever seen State Fair?
G: oh yes, great movie
J: i love it.
G: anything Rogers & Hammerstein
J: yep. last year brandon got me a box set with State Fair, OK, South Pacific, Sound, Carousel & The King and I
G: okay, I need to borrow all those next!!!!
G: I think OK and King and I are my two faves
G: well. and Sound of Music
J: I could have danced all night…
J: isn’t that in The King & I?
G: no, Shalll we dance…..
J: oh, yeah. i’m a little braindead, too.
G: On a bright cloud of music shall we fly?
G: that’s okay
G: My Fair Lady?
J: yes
G: I need to download all THOSE soundtracks
G: I have Grease and Oklahoma
G: Maybe King & I?
G: I need to look
J: OOOOOOOklahmoa where the wind comes sweeping though the plains
G: Sound of Music is on tape. and I think it’s dead. Boy1 & I played it every night at bed time. EVERY
G: I have Shall We Dance on MP3
J: i can’t wait to have a kid to share my love of show tunes with
G: and a few Oklahoma
G: and the rest is Chorus Line, Producers & Wicked
G: I know, when Boy1 was really little he could sing Sound of Music
G: he could sing it better than he coudl talk
J: how cute
G: Vince was sure I was making him gay
J: lol
G: man, my neck and head hurt. I SWEAR if I get sick I’m KICKING [brother]‘S ASS
J: i think i’ll hold off on singing the songs of RENT to my kids until they are a little older.
J: as well you should!
G: I dunno…besides Annie I also knew the Chorus Line & Grease songs.
G: look at me, I’m Sandra Dee…lousy with virginity….
G: I was like 4
J: um, have you heard La Vive Bohem?
G: yeah, I know…have you heard Greased lighting? LOL
J: lol!
J: two people from our church had babies today!
G: wow
J: and what’s funny is that they are these two huge homeschool families who are really good friends.
G: wonder if it is possible to OD on zinc & Vitamin C?
J: one of them is the family who’s son died here recently… remember them? hopefully that’ll give them a little bit of a happier holiday since it’s the first without Eric
G: oh I think so.
G: oh yeah, I need to figure out when I got those Target boots
G: I think I wrote a check…or Debit? I think if you did they can look it up.
J: well, if you got them that night we went shopping i think you only used cash at NY & Co. Do not ask me how I remember that.
G: LOL
G: because that was my allowance
G: but I’m betting money Target doesn’t have those anymore so now I need to find new brown boots again!
G: sheesh
G: so was it October? does that narrow it down?
J: what a pain. hope you have better luck than i am.
G: beginning of October?
J: BF #4 is on tv
J: he’s so cute
G: I’m thinking Pinnacle opened around the 1st week
J: good point. if you can figure out when they opened then you’ll be able to narrow it down.
G: 10/10/06!
G: that’s when we went
J: there you go!
J: how did you figure that out?
G: I used my Debit Card
G: Quicken
J: awesome!
G: wonder what their return policy is though? 30 days probably…or some crap
J: well, you would think if they are falling apart they would make an exception.
G: I know. COnsidering I’ve worn them like 3 times
G: I can’t find their policy. Target.com.au (Austraila) says they’ll take anything with a receipt
G: I bet the receipt might be in my files b/c Vince took them all
J: wouldn’t you be lucky if it was?
G: totally!
G: We will issue a full refund for most items returned within 90 days in new condition, with the original receipt or packing slip, packaging and accessories.
J: well, you’ve got the 90 days
G: I just told Vince…”Well how much did you pay for them?” Okay, like $25 probably BUT
G: and the fact they both ripped like that at the same time. I mean one’s worse than the other
J: exactly.
G: In most instances, Target stores can verify purchases made within the last 90 days on a store account, third-party charge account, check or GiftCard using our unique Receipt Look-up system.
J: that’s good to know
J: like, if i need to take Boy2’s chef hat back or something
G: you’ll have to wrestle that from him
J: did [brother] get him more food?
G: no
G: he couldn’t find anything
G: he ended up getting him a Wii game too–Spongebob
G: They got so many we haven’t even looked at them all
J: this guy just won $138,000 on 1 vs 1000
J: 100
J: i wish i could win $138,000
G: cool for him
G: can’t you watch at home and play?
G: or was that Deal or No Deal?
J: no, i think you can play at home on both of them
G: well why ain’tcha?
J: there must be a lot of people trying to redeem iTunes gift cards. i can’t get it to work. [J's brother] got me some downloads and i want to use them!
G: yeah, I couldn’t get a game most of the afternoon/evening
J: well, i finally got it to take my card now let’s see if it’ll let me download anything
G: they have some mini-golf game Boy2 was begging me to download
G: OMG, Vince is freezing under the covers and I’m sweating on top of hte covers
G: I had to turn the fan off
J: one of you are sick
J: it worked finally
G: yay
G: oh, you want your dad to cry more??? Rudy is on!
J: he watched that just not long ago he says
J: why did the puppy have to grow up????
G: I know!!! my baby!!!
J: that’s why i’m getting a dog that doesn’t get very big.
J: we might have snow next sunday morning
G: yippee!!
G: I was going to say, “Great, just in time to go back to school” but we have a whole WEEK after that don’t we? ugh
J: yes you do!
G: Serenity Now!! (Seinfeld reference)
G: Hey, does Bob watch Seinfeld? I’m trying to figure out how to get you to watch this
J: Bob is with you on the whoe Seinfeld thing
J: lol
G: I couldn’t even celebrate Festivus with you
G: Yay! More points for Bob
J: i saw something online about that and i was totally confused.
G: how so?
J: i had no idea what they were talking about
G: Frank Costanza, George’s dad, hated the commercialism of Christmas
G: once he was at a toy store getting something for George when he was a kid, and someone wrestled it from him
J: okay
G: so he made his own holiday
J: i see
G: so instead of a tree they have an aluminum pole
J: ahhh… gotcha
G: and it is not decorated
G: because Frank “Finds tinsel distracting”
G: and then…this is so great…at dinner they have the Airing of Greivances
G: you go around and tell everyone how they disappointed you this year
G: and then they have the Feats of Strength and it isn’t over until the head of the house is pinned to the ground
J: i love how you can tell me all this in such great detail!
G: LOL…I am telling you this is my favorite show ever
G: Seinfeld that is…this is not my favorite episode
G: my favorite, shockingly involves Mel Torme thinking Kramer is handicapped (retarded)
J: well anything where someone is mistaken for a retarded person would be funny to me!
G: oh yeah, and in the festivus episode, George doesn’t know what to give as gifts
G: at work
G: so he says he’s making donations in their names
G: but he’s not
G: so when they ask him what the organization is, he makes it up..”The Human Fund”
G: That Manhattan Diffusion has a holiday scent called Festivus
J: you shoulda gotten it
G: I know, I wanted to
G: I need to see if I can buy that episode @ iTunes!
J: then I could borrow your iPod!
G: yes!
J: i have the last two episodes of 24 on my iTunes if you want those!
G: BTW, Little Mermaid is working
G: are those with [girl]?
J: no. i think she’s going to be in next season.
G: oh
G: but that’s soon?
J: she came up on Friday but i wasn’t there
G: January 2007
G: I thought
J: well, the new season starts like on the 16th or 17th.
J: so, just tell me when you’re tired of me saying Bob, but he says he’s going to watch American Idol and 24 this season. I’m sure it’s not just because of me, but, well, you know…
G: LOL
G: I’m not tired of it!!
G: I bet American Idol is just for you!
J: i just don’t want to get all happy about it and all… you know…
J: so i’m trying to keep my feet on the ground.
J: yes, I’m sure AI is just for me.
G: you can buy Josh Duhamel on Soapography on iTunes
G: for $1.99
J: oh, yeah? i’ll have to go check that out
J: he’s so cute
J: so, does this mean i have to make Bob #1 on my bf list?
G: um, yes, I think it does
J: crap. it’s going to be hard to replace George. he’s been there for so long.
G: I don’t think he’ll be that upset
J: you’re probably right.
J: they are showing something on ABC about Christianity and they just showed this big youth rally thing and I betcha at least one of the t-shirts there were designed by my boyfriend.
G: why don’t we think about YouTube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eaeQz5HwfoI
G: *giggle*
J: i have to tell you, it’s a bit of a turn on to think about all the people who are wearing shirts that he designed.
G: LOL
G: it’s very impressive
J: and he’s really good. he designed my favorite. i told him about my favorite hoping he’d take a hint and buy it for me for $5.
G: lol
J: is that Jack Black
G: it says in the comments it’s not
G: I’m hungry
J: ugh. i couldn’t eat another thing
G: I would think that yet it’s not true
G: leftover ravioli? leftover prime rib? the Magic cookie bars are really calling me!
G: I put WAY more chocolate chips in than you’re supposed to…they’re divine!
J: mmmmm… now that sounds good.
G: I *swear* I took a Tylenol PM at 9:00
J: i can’t believe that you’re still up
G: I know…I’m not sleepy, just tired
G: 40 year old virgin is on THREE of the HBO channels
J: i need to borrow that and watch it with Bob and then say, “Oh, by the way…”
G: LOL
G: okay
J: actually, i’m not going to have that conversaion until I absolutley have to.
J: that’s not lying, right?
G: no…you need to see the movie so you can see how he handled it!
J: did you know[name]moved to Chicgao and is going to be a pilot?
G: yes
G: and he still thinks he’s not gay too
G: LOL
J: yeah. right.
J: okay, i’m going to sleep. i can’t believe you’re still up!
G: I know! I mean I had TONS of coffee and pop today to keep me up but why hasn’t that Tylenol PM kicked in? It usually works anyway. I”m going to play Boy2’s new gameboy game
J: well, i hope you tucker out soon (if you want, that is!)
G: Yes! I do!
G: or I could go downstairs and bowl
G: but considering they were out before 8pm….
J: now that sounds like fun
G: they’ll be up at the crack of dawn
G: wait, it isn’t dawn until 7. They’ll be up at the crack of 5
J: you only have 6 hours
G: damn
G: I really need to go to sleep
J: okay, well i’ll talk to you tomorrow sometime. Nite!
G: good night!

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G: bah
G: have they sung yet?
G: good lord, Yahoo hates me
G: I’m WATCHING
J: how do you spell cookoo?
J: is that it?
G: I went to wrestle the remote from [brother]–who took it to the kitchen
G: cuckoo
J: i love my iPod cover. too bad I can’t listen to it ’cause the battery is dead and the good friend that i am loaned my cord to my good friend and forgot to get it back!
G: I just saw it in there too…I TOLD you where it was. I pointed to it in the bag.
G: http://perezhilton.com/topics/listen_to_this/listen_to_this_theres_no_place_like_20061223.php
J: i know. i was thinking about my soap i think.
G: LOL, I’m sure you were flustered
J: miss me?
G: badly
J: i never had the joy of having a new mommy
G: so I don’t remember, have you seen Drop Dead Fred?
J: yes, but it’s been a while.
G: well, you know the cute, cute, cute little girl that played her in all the flashbacks?
G: http://www.anybrowser.org/soaps/gl/images/ashsmall.jpg
J: yes, she was terribly cute.
G: well I saw her name in the credits.
G: She’s one of those two sisters they ALWAYS are making fun of on Go Fug Yourself. http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2004/11/theres_a_fug_on.html
J: oh, man. that’s so unfortunate!
G: aint it though?? LOL
J: i’m trying to listen to your cousin/boyfriend, but i can’t get it to work. what am i doing wrong???
G: on perez?
J: yes
G: oh, it’s just Home…I didn’t try to listen. I’ve heard it 947 times
J: Oh, okay. i thought it was something new or something. i do love that picture.
G: yes, it’s hawt. I thought it was nice he was mentioned. Even tho Perez Hilton is slime.
G: it’s not my favorite picture but it’s in the top 10
J: yes, im not a perez hilton fan
G: he’s getting sued. Hopefully he’ll go down
J: yeah, he a sleeze bag
J: i must say, and please don’t shoot me, but this is my least favorite song on this movie.
G: sorry…chased the dog b/c he got grandma’s cookie bars off the counter
G: then had to tie the boys to the bed
J: lol! Dog is a pooper lately!!!
G: so Vince got a mini Speed Stick deoderant
G: it was either the night Vince stayed in [town]
G: or the 2nd week he went to classes he left his bag here and went to Walgreens
G: anyway, he had this little tube of it…and it’s like a mixture of Brut, Old Spice and I dunno, whatever cheap, disgusting scent
G: and he gave it to the boys
G: and they apply it every 10 minutes
J: i was going to say i bet it smells good in your house!
G: omg, it’s awful
J: so did you get my voicemail that we have the same hair cut?
G: yes
G: I tried to call you back
J: yeah, my battery was dead. i got a new one and it was not charged up and they took my old one.
G: ha ha http://music.aol.com/blender/2006-douchebag-of-the-year-winner
J: OMG. that little guy dancing on You Tube FREAKS ME OUT
G: LOL
G: I love him
J: when did Jessica Simpson say “I don’t have a cock right now so i wear one around my neck” and what in the world was she talking about?
J: Oh, someone was selling little terrier puppies by the WM in [town]. if i hadn’t been in the wrong lane i would have stopped. they were soooo cute!
G: aww
J: so, my friend who is a boy who may be my boyfriend said he’d take me to see DreamGirls. He said he wouldn’t do it cheerfully, but he’d do it.
G: well points for him
G: he must LIKE you
J: yeah, but then i’d have to go see some stupid movie he wants to next time.
J: i got a new flat iron today. i got an expensive one it’s crazy the difference between that one and my old one. i love it!
G: yep, there’s definitely a difference
J: look how cute W’s girls are!
J: i love B’s face in this one!
G: aww, that’s sweet!
J: the one with the santa hats were her christmas card
J: i think B is just the cutest! i love them all, but she sure is cute!
G: [name] is the one being kissed?
J: yes
G: in the 1st pic?
G: adorable
J: maybe someday i’ll have a cute kid
J: she looks just like her dad in this one with that silly face
J: okay, i don’t want to be that annoying person showing pictures of my kids so i’ll stop!
G: LOL
G: when that happens
G: after it happens
G: somehow I know I”ll jump up and go’
G: if ever he calls my name
G: I’ll stop typing because I’m really singing outloud
G: okay, why is htat happening again??
J: i don’t know. i closed the photo sharing thing and my window got really small but i didn’t get logged out.
J: so, have you ever thought about how the Dali Lama is chosen? I never thought about there being different Dali Lama’s.
G: I can’t say I’ve given it any deep thoughts
J: me neither. it was one of the questions on my yahoo home page and i just thought i’d throw it out there.
G: ah
J: evidentially he’s just reincarnated so i guess it is the same person for ever
G: well, you need to make different friends if you want to get intellectual and shit
J: LOL!
G: oh yeah, I guess I did know that…they just have to find him
J: yeah.
J: so i took my camera back to kohls and got me a new one at WM. it’s much better. i can’t wait to take a picture of something besides my lamp.
G: lol
G: okay
G: you can come take pictures of my puppy
G: or my kids…but saying my puppy is less obnoxious
J: my camera has a setting for taking pictures of children. wonder if it hypnotizes them until they sit still?
J: i need a pic of Boy2 in his chef hat.
G: hot damn! If it does that would be great
G: I’m guessing it just slows down the blur
G: I was trying to take pictures of Boy2 riding on Great-Grandma [name]’s Rascal scooter
G: and he was such a blur I couldn’t
G: with my camera phone htat is.
J: i bet that was fun for him!
G: totally
G: between Rascal Rides and the elevator in their house, that was the excitement of the evening
J: oh, so ya’ll went to [grandparents]?
G: yes
G: just for a few minutes
G: but then we had to wait for [Crazy Aunt]to come by….
J: oh, fun, fun.
J: she was always the most annoying of the bunch if you ask me.
G: for real…that was my face all evening
J: lol
G: totally
J: Bob had a crush on julie andrews when he was little. well, actually he had a crush on mary poppins. thus the reason we had to watch it last night.
G: LOL
J: yeah, and he told me he wasn’t jealous of george clooney. yeah, right.
G: that’s a lie
G: everyone is jealous of George Clooney
G: he’s the Sexiest man Alive for pete’s sake!
J: i’m even jealous of george clooney.
J: when i get married we have to figure out either how to make this cake or have it shipped here. http://www.idreamofcake.com/photo/we/19.html
J: just a reminder.
G: oh I can do it
J: i have no doubt
J: i promise not to be annoying with this, but isn’t this pretty for when i do get married? http://davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2806&prodgroup=127
G: see http://www.pastrywiz.com/wedding/wedding5.htm
G: yes, I very much love that
G: and it’s been so long since I got married you won’t annoy me
J: we can learn how to do anything on the internets!
G: totally
G: in fact, I see me trying on wedding dresses with you–like in Friends where they all go buy one
G: we could do that.
J: Bob hadn’t heard that the internet is a set of tubes. i had to enlighten him.
J: LOL! that’d be fun!
G: I don’t know about dresses but I’m trying on this!! http://www.davidsbridal.com/accessory_detail.jsp?stid=2074&prodgroup=140
J: lol! you know, if you want, i could have my bridesmaids wear something like that so you could rock it!
G: um…yeah, that might be an idea!!
G: ooh!! http://www.davidsbridal.com/accessory_detail.jsp?stid=2608&prodgroup=193
J: everything is sleeveless. what about people like me with fat arms?
J: hey, they’d match my dress!
G: I know, you’re right. We’ll have to join that curves for sure
G: I KNOW! Cute huh?
G: okay, I know you’re doing red…but this color is sooo cute: http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_make_a_match_separates.jsp Maybe I’ll get the sash to match those on my wedding dress
J: OH, so the other night when [dorky ex] called he asked, “so, have you checked out my MySpace page lately? You know that’s not really me singing right?” Um, yeah. You’re no where near creative enough to do something cool like that.
J: Oh, those are really cute! If I get married in the spring I wouldn’t mind having a green sash. That would be really cute. I’d have to figure out a different cake, though.
G: I can make the frosting any color.
J: that’s true
G: LOL…I guess this is supposed to be crooked on purpose. http://www.onewed.com/wedding-cake-picture/wedding-cake-58.html but that’s how mine would probably look
J: that is cute
G: LOL…I’m pretty sure I could come up with this too http://www.ericharshbarger.org/lego/images/wedding_cake/topper_0.jpg
J: that’d be great!
G: http://www.ericharshbarger.org/lego/images/wedding_cake/cake_11.jpg
G: the boys could help
J: Bob would probably shit in his pants if he knew I was looking at this site!
G: probably. I won’t tell….
J: so, um, it kinda freaks me out if he is my boyfriend that the next logical step someday would be my husband. but i musn’t think about that.
G: no, I know. we’re both ahead of ourselves. I still want to go try on wedding dresses
J: oh, yeah. me, too.
J: okay, i love this http://www.davidsbridal.com/bridesmaids_make_a_match_separates.jsp
J: with this http://davidsbridal.com/bridal_gowns_detail.jsp?stid=2843&prodgroup=127
G: okay, the first page just took me to the page I showed you…I think it’s flash, you probably can’t show me exactly
J: it’s the second one.
G: and I don’t like the skirt of that gown. I’m sorry, I’m honest. LOL
J: the second page. they are brown and white
J: oh, i could never pull off that skirt but i like the brown sash with the dresses i like.
G: gotcha. I liek the brown and white
J: i’m talking to W and she just asked me how close i feel to one of my friends and she was like, “are you going to have her in the wedding?” to which I replied, “How do you know what I’m doing? How do you know I’m looking at David’s Bridal?”
J: Hope does not want me to marry [dorky ex].
J: Hope is her 6 year old.
G: LOL
G: that’s funny
J: this would be a good spring cake for me http://www.onewed.com/wedding-cake-picture/wedding-cake-70.html can you do this one?
G: oh yeah no problem
G: I think I have a drinking problem
G: I keep choking when I take a drink
G: and then cough for 30 minutes b/c it went down the wrong way
J: does anyone over there know that heimlich just in case?
G: well Vince doesn’t seem to care/notice
G: he’s watching War of the Worlds
G: and I’m thinking Cat couldn’t
G: Dog is in his crate, I’m sure he could dial 911 though
J: yes, i’m sure Dog could dial 911
J: i guess i should go to bed. i have a long stinkin’ day tomorrow. i hope to be home by 7 or 8
G: you ahve fun. I’m not doing ANYTHING important! yayayayay!
G: I mean I’m eating prime rib
G: and going to midnight mass
G: but that’s about it!!!

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G: [link to purse dog photo]
J: i’m here!
G: whaddup?
J: maybe that’s what Bob got me for Christmas!!!
G: oh, that would be good!!!
J: or, i really hope it’s that diamond circle necklace for $99 at Zales
G:
G: THAT would mean he’s your boyfriend my friend!
J: I ordered his magazine, so like I say, if he ends up not liking me he’ll have a monthly reminder of me. Kinda like Aunt Flo… only not quite as annoying!
J: well, I don’t know what it is, but it came from the mall so it’s not a $5 [company] T-shirt
G: sweet!
J: i just have to relax about this whole thing. that’s what i’ve decided. he called me and told me that we weren’t going to [town]with [couple] but he still wanted to get together and so i’m going to his house and he’s cooking and we’re going to watch a movie. Oh, and we’re going to make out even if i have to initiate the whole thing.
J: so, i will either leave his house knowing that he’ll never call again or seriously considering leaving my job at the church so i can have sex any time i want to
G: LOL! Awesome!! And that sounds like a way better date
J: OH! [dorky ex] called me!
G: oh, well then maybe THAT IS a sign!!!
J: yeah. he was on his way to his new girlfriend’s house. and it wasn’t that i didn’t want to tell him about Bob it was just that, well, i couldn’t get a word in edgewise so i’ll just let him find out after the honeymoon.
G: LOL
G: ooh, Christmas Day [fancy restaurant]’s will be open for Dinner 5-9. You should have Daddy take you there!
G: oh yah, Dog ran away AGAIN in the dark tonight. Snapped his leash thing/ring
J: i think Dog should not be allowed out after dark like [J's family's cat]!
G: well, he had to potty and there were deer out there.
G: the boys loaded in the truck, I went inside, put on shoes, hat, coat and got a flashlight and went down in the woods
G: we cornered him at [neighbors]’s old house….
G: I’m guessing those construction guys dropped food & shit, he was sniffing around and I got him cornered. He could either jump 15′ off the edge of the concrete drive or let me get him. I won
G: I don’t know what to do with him. I can’t take it.
G: I’ve got such a bad sinus headache. I’d love to go to bed. But [brother] & my mom are still here. It’s [brother]. He can’t take a hint it’s past bedtime
J: do you think one of those underground fence things would help?
G: no
G: he’s retarded
G: I guess that’s the next try
G: is [name] the prosecuting attorney? [brother] wants to know.
J: yes
G: ok
G: that’s what we told him
G: OMG, I’m gonna fight with [brother] right now
G: I’m sitting here watching Seinfeld and he changes the channel
J: dude. is he retarded or something?
J: you should tell him if he wants to watch something else to go watch it on your mom’s TV.
J: i’m watching Christmas Vacation.
G: oh damn
G: on what?
J: TBS
G: not that I don’t have that on DVD or tape and have already watched it
G: I think it’s on the NFL Network
G: I swear
J: “i got a daughter in the clinic getting off that Wild Turkey”
G: LOL
G: “gettin’ cured off the Wild Turkey” isn’t it? LOL…We always say that.
G: and the pixie dust spreader on the Tilt a whirl
J: yeah, that’s it
G: my brother sucks
J: and how long is he going to be here??
G: 10 days…some shit like that!!!!!!!!1
G: I think that’s what I heard him telling the boys
G: a week from Sunday?
G: he’s going down
J: so what time are you guys leaving tomorrow
G: LOL
G: Vince told my mom “about 3″
G: Um, we’re going when I’m damned well ready
G: I may have diarrhea just thinking about it though.
J: lol!
G: and have to sit on the toilet on my laptop for a few hours
J: well, just think of it this way. you’re getting it over with early and won’t have to worry about it for the rest of the holiday.
J: meluka luki laka is the thing to say
J: maka?
G: maka
J: that’s hard to spell
G: ooh, Christmas Day
G: oops
G: what?
J: huh?
G: where did that come from?
G: LOL!
J: i’m confused!!!
G: I dunno, I started to type Mele Kalekimaka and that showed up!!!!!!
J: how the heck do you know how to spell that?
J: you are truly a vat of useless knowledge!
G: I swear I”m not drunk. I couldn’t say [name] earlier though. I kept saying [name combination]
J: lol!!!!!!!!
G: Mele Kalikimaka is actually right now that I googled it.
J: i’m going to sleep. i think i’ll take a benadryl and see if i can sleep all night. i think that’s another reason why i’m being so stupid about this whole thing. I am so tired i can’t see straight. i get my 8 hours of sleep every night but i’m still exahusted.
G: okay, good luck.
J: yeah, thanks. i hope you get to go to bed soon. kick them out like any other good sister would!
G: he’s gone. I’m in bed but still dressed.
G: THis is my favorite part!
G: if you didn’t already know this
G: Merry Christmas!!! Shitter was full!!!
J: lol! okay, well i’ll talk to you tomorrow! nite! i don’t know if i really want to go to the [restaurant] or not tomorrow.
G: okay, well let me know in the morning. I don’t know what we’re doing about lunch.
G: I’ll be at the shop though.
J: okay. will do! you should get Dog some Ol’ Roy. he won’t run away again for sure if you did!!!!
G: LOL
G: good plan
G: good night
J: nite!

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J: OMG. My stupid computer is soooo sloooowww
G: well that’s just wrong
J: i know. maybe i need a Mac.
J: my friend who is a boy finally set up his voice mail.
J: guess nagging works on him.
G: good to know! LOL
G: We’re making finger sandwiches here…a little finger factory
J: lol!
J: i’m watching Seven Brides for Seven Brothers
G: there’s NOTHING on TV
J: hence the 7 Brides for 7 Brothers
J: well, if it doesn’t work out with Bob there’s another guy at [company] who thinks I’m cute.
G: LOL, awesome
J: yeah, but it’s that guy who came into the shop that day. the lady who asked me if Bob was my boyfriend, well, she said that she was walking out with him and he was like, “she’s cute” but she told him that Bob & I were dating and he didn’t believe her.
G: why?
J: I told her that I’m not sure exactly what we are.
G: well that’s true…I still think the guy that came in the shop thing was weird.
J: well, i guess because Bob hadn’t said anything to him. but she asked him if he knew everything that was going on
G: lol
J: well, so now i’m freaked out. (i know, i know) [girl] (that’s her name) emailed me the other day about a picture and she asked me what my boyfriend’s name was. Well, i didn’t say anything about him not being my boyfriend and so now I’m worried that she may have said something about me saying that he’s my boyfriend and it got back to him. GEEZE. I need to just chill out!
G: so what do you think is wrong with your computer? I think you have something…a virus or some sort of spyware
G: LOL, no lie!! It doesn’t matter… you don’t need titles.
J: Well, I ran Norton the other day and it didn’t come up with anything. But once it gets going it’s fine. it just takes it a while for the internet to start up.
G: you mean the DSL to find the wireless connect??
G: I hate Norton and all those big ones. I think they’re crap.
J: no, for the actual program to load
J: which one do you have?
G: oh, THAT is your problem!!!!!!!!!! You don’t use that freaking Yahoo/SBC software!!!
G: I just use AdAware and AVG
J: no, took all that yahoo/sbc stuff off, remember?
G: then what program is loading?
J: well, maybe load is not the right word. first of all, it is supposed to load messenger at start up. Well, now it pops up and says that it can’t load and for me to try a new user or cancel.
J: then, if i try to start Internet Explorer it takes a coons age to finally start up. HOWEVER
G: that’s not right
J: if i open Fox Fire first it seems to be much more responsive.
J: So, i’m thinking I need to uninstall Explorer and start over again with it.
G: does your friend that’s a boy know anything about computers?
G: Vince asks…
J: yes
G: he said that would be a good excuse for him to come over
J: well, Mac’s at least
G: and to make him feel important
G: Vince says that means he’s got a little dick (Mac) LOL
G: I’m just passing on his opposite sex wisdom
J: i would ask how he knows but i’m afraid he’d tell me.
G: LOL
G: LMAO actually
G: he said “OR he could be incredibly hung. But the little dick is my first instinct.”
J: well, tell him that maybe someday i’ll find out, but until then let’s just pretend like it’s the first one.
J: just to make him jealous.
G: LOL
G: “I hope for her she does find out!”
G: I should make him get on his Yahoo chat and have a conference so I don’t have to relay all this but he’d certainly dominate the conversation
J: yeah, and i’m sure i much prefer your edited version.
G: LOL, true
J: so do you have to pay for AVG?
G: nope
G: nor Adaware
G: if you need me to find a link, I’ll look
G: so you know the white trash woman on my [message] board?
J: well, i found the AVG site but you can just download a free trial.
J: yes, i know her.
G: Need some decorating advice, is this going to be noticed……. I had a bitch of a time finding a tank set for the bathroom. Finally found purple at JCP. Problem is the lid cover is only available in a standard size and we have an elongated lid. Does it look stupid with the tank set and no lid cover? I do have the matching rug on the floor in front of the sink and the matching hand towel hanging up. So does this look stupid without the lid cover??
J: LOL!!!!!!!!
G: she wants the bathroom to be purple & gold BTW
J: Did anyone tell her the truth?
G: Oh yeah, speaking of being catty & bitchy.
G: so we get to the mall to see Santa…
G: 3:15
G: Santa’s got an hour off from 3-4
G: so we milled around and got in line about 3:40
G: this chick in front of us….
G: well first there was this whole bunch of people
G: all were WEIRD
G: and they were in line with this baby. Some were just sitting on the bench
G: well this one younger woman comes up and gets the baby, she is wearing a PURPLE PROM DRESS
G: and then had this red ribbon on….like those they sell at Dollar Tree or a party store that say #1 Kid or something–I didn’t see what hers said unfortunately
G: I just thought “I wish J was here.” (so we could be mean and giggle)
G: I tried to get a picture with my camera phone but not sure how it turned out
J: Man, I always miss the good stuff!
J: And see, Bob is kinda like Vince. He’ll let me be tacky to a point, but then he’ll take the retard’s side.
G: he wasn’t nice…but he didn’t keep saying, “Wish I had my prom dress.” all night
G: oh, and the other part
G: she had long, long dark hair
G: and it had some bit of natural curl/frizz to it…not lots. or maybe she rolled it and stood in the rain? I dunno, it looked like she hadn’t brushed it in days.
G: so why would you dress up that much and not even fix your hair?
J: LOL!
J: maybe her hair was fixed. ever thought of that???
G: no, it was really bad. I mean looks about like mine right now! LOL. And I washed it and now I’m laying here and it’s 1/2 dry
G: Actually, mine might look better
J: speaking of… i have to get mine cut. my friend who is a boy was like, “No, I like long hair.” blah, blah, blah. I told him all men like long hair because they don’t have to fix it. and, little does he know, I am not the kind of woman who is going to keep my hair long because my friend who is a boy likes it.
J: now, if he were my boyfriend it might be another story
G: LOL
G: oh…and speaking of weirdos and long hair
J: anywhooo… i think i’m going to start with layers and go from there.
G: on Monday this girl came in when I was getting my hair done to have a blow out.
G: It was SO long…probably to her butt! And the bottom 12″ was fried.
G: It pretty much took most of the time I was there. It took over an hour…probably an hour and a half
G: but she was SO weird
G: she looked somewhat familiar to me, but I have no idea who she was
G: she was talking about kids and school…and they thought she was from [hometown] so maybe it was there.
G: she’s wanting to be a police officer
G: but she was really SO weird…and well, you can’t help this but really ugly and poorly dressed. I don’t get why she was having a blow out. It actually crossed my mind that maybe she was going to the [company] party but she told her life story and neither she nor her husband worked there. So I asked them after she left and they were talking about how weird she was and I asked, “Was that for a special occasion?” No, they didn’t think so.
J: speaking of the party… i found it interesting how you could literally see the dividing line between the professional employees and the hourly employees. the professionals were all at the front, nicely dressed and the hourly were all sitting in the back. either they were in jeans or really, really dressed up. it was interesting.
G: hmm
J: i was trying not to be judgemental, but i could pretty much tell you what dept. they worked in by how they were dressed. i’m so tacky. Bob is going to hate me.
G: lol
J: ugh. i think i’m going to bed. what are you doing for lunch tomorrow?
G: I’ll be around. I probably should save room for my party foods but I’ll be there….I need to leave at 12:15 or so so if you can come early
G: earlier?
G: or McDs since it’s quick
J: okay. i’m sure i can go a few minutes early. otherwise we’ll do McD’s.
G: ok, that’ll work
J: okay. nite!
G: goodnight!

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G: It’s December in our tooooown!!!
J: oh, yeah??
G: a wonderful place to beeeee
J: did you drink after the show?
G: not yet
G: my favorite part was [Catholic Kid]in a yarmulke
J: what’s a yarmulke?
G: you are a preacher’s daughter! The little Jewish Beanie
J: OH. I didn’t know that was how you spelled it!
G: LOL
J: okay. we have to find something for Bob. not too personal, but not too impersonal.
J: He likes [University Team] and the [NFL Team]
J: Not sure what size he even would wear if I wanted to get him a shirt or anything.
J: His pullover he got last night was a large and it fit well.
J: geeze. i hate dating.
G: LOL
G: the boys are still up BTW
J: Crap! I want to take this camera back to Kohl’s because it’s crap and I can’t find my receipt.
J: okay. help. I need a new battery for my phone. Mine won’t stay charged up. The Cingular store in BV closes at 5 so obviously I can’t make it over there before then. Would it be weird for me to ask Bob to go pick it up for me if I call over and go ahead and pay for it and everything?
G: sorry
J: that’s okay. i just thought you were ignoring me.
G: I know and your crisises
G: LOL.
J: dude. i need therapy.
G: How did you pay for your camera?
J: on my Kohl’s card. but it’s already posted to my account online. think i could take a copy of that to them?
G: yeah
J: i’m going to try. this camera just takes so long even to turn the flash on.
G: as far as Bob, no….it’s not weird at all. He needs to learn to run your errands
J: i just don’t want him to think that i think that he’s my boyfriend before he’s ready to say that he’s ready to be my boyfriend. kwim?
G: LOL.
G: this dog is wired
G: he was naughty all day
G: just out of his pen every 30 seconds
G: I stayed at the shop til almost 5 but brought the boys & dog home (to Vince) at 3:30
G: and they pretty much left him in the crate the whole time
J: why is he being so bad lately?
G: I dunno
G: [UPS] said his dog chewed up 2 boxes on the porch the mailman left
G: while his wife had gone to Wal-Mart
G: and one box was like triple boxed but she got into it and ruined it
J: wow. sounds like she and Dog need to go to the same school.
G: and then [man] came in and he’s got a 9 month old Aussie Shepherd too and he said she’s chewing everything up too
J: must be the weather
G: well, at least Dog hasn’t destroyed anything….yet
J: that’s true
J: should i get Bob something with the [NFL] on it? Ugh. i hate this! not like i’m waiting until the last minute or anything.
J: i hope i’m not getting sick. my throat is starting to hurt. well, it starting hurting this morning and now it’s all tight and icky feeling.
G: SORRY AGAIN….
G: oops
G: I was wearing my dog otu
G: and now he’s barking in his crate dammit
G: Boy1’s armpits hurt
J: his armpits?
G: yes, like his lymph nodes
J: i see
J: how was the boy’s thing?
G: OMG…hang on…
G: we got a *snort* Christmas card *choke* from [Maxican Restaurant]
G: and they wrote all this stuff but it’s in SPANISH. Um…I took French. I know Feliz Navidad and “new year”
G: so I put it in Babel Fish….
G: and it translates it to this: Deceamos them Merry Christmas they prosperon new anus. the best decdos for the new anus.
J: LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J G: I was laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. Vince was trying to figure out what was wrong
G: anyway, the boys thing was okay….
G: the only time kindergarten was on stage was the opener and the closing songs…..
G: pissed me off
G: and Boy2 was on the 2nd row of kids so he was hard to see
G: and Boy1….well I barely saw him at all
G: they had a “dance team” which really didn’t dance but it was kids from 2nd, 3rd and 4th. He wasn’t in that.
J: i want to see We Are Marshall. not to change the subject or anything.
G: okay.
G: take your friend that is a boy
J: i’ve already expressed my interest in that. oh, and DreamGirls. Bettin’ on the first one.
G: LOL
G: *I* will take you to Dreamgirls. LOL
J: or we could make my friend who is a boy and your man who is a husband take us both on a double date.
G: well yeah
G: okay, so año is year but ano is anus? LOL
J: not sure what it is in spanish…
G: well, I translated anus from English to Spanish and it just said anus was anus.
J: as in anus anus?
G: yeah…anus!
J: so, it sounds like Bob likes to travel. we’re always talking about places we want to go. He also likes outdoor stuff like hiking and kyaking and stuff like that. would this be a stupid gift or too personal or anything like that? [magazine]
J: or i could get this for him and tell him that i’ll make him happy when he sees me wear it [link]
J: wait. that didn’t sound good.
J: nevermind.
G: LOL. I was expecting it to be panties.
G: I like the magazine idea
J: guess i could get this [Body paint]
J: yeah, i like the magazine. but, i don’t know his address.
J: think he’d take the hint?
G: LOL, can’t you look in the white pages??
J: he just moved there like a month ago
G: um, didn’t you GO to his house?
J: but, then again, i’d hate to get him somthing that will remind him of me every month if we end up hating each other.
G: no, that’s even better! LOL
J: YES but i don’t know his address. guess we could go to [hick town]tomorrow and drive by and figure it out.
G: yeah, um okay
J: or, perhaps when i call him tomorrow about my battery i’ll just ask him.
G: tell him you want to send him a Christmas card
J: yeah, that’s a good idea.
J: this is it! http://www.gifts.com/search/product/iPod-Dock-Toilet-Paper-Holder?ideaID=8769&prodID=88684
J: okay. the magazine is the winner. i think that’s pretty cool. and it’ll give me something to look at when i’m over there.
G: LOL, we saw that somewhere the other day.
J: okay, i’m really tired. are you going to be here tomorrow?
G: yes
G: for lunch I will be
G: all this anus talks makes me hungry for Mexican…let’s have [Other Mexican Restaurant]
J: sounds good to me. or we could order from la familia or something if we wanted
G: LOL, whichever. I”m sure we’ll change our minds 6x before then. [Pizza]i’s sounds good right now too
J: probably. we’ll figure it out tomorrow. talk to you then. nite!
G: NITE

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J: i am having serious problems. here. i can’t get my internet explorer to open so i’m having to go through foxfire. then it takes forever and a day for anything to load.
G:
G: LOL. I’m sorry!!!
J: yeah, imagine that with my computer
J: but once i get it going it works fine. weird.
J: so, did you have a good day?
G: um, yeah, I guess.
G: shop…slow, boring…whatever. I wrapped presents
G: we ran to Wal-Mart
G: Grandma [Lastname] sent her Christmas money
G: so we used 1/2 of it to get a DVD player for the car…with all the back & forth we’re doing, we thought it was a good investment
J: that is a good investment
G: Dog ran away again–after dark this time
G: that was fun
G: then we went to [couple]’s–brought pizza–and went to meet [baby]
J: guess they found time for you in the nursing schedule
G: Boy2 says: “This is my first time to hold a human baby. I’ve only held baby dogs.”
J: lo
G: yeah
J: l
J: is she cute?
G: yeah, I guess…pretty cute. She’s only a week old….we’ll give her time
J: my mom needs a friend. or a hobby or something.
G: LOL
G: I still think you get her on IM.
J: i did. she has no clue how to use it.
J: NOOO
J: I just thought about that.
J: no.
J: never.
J: ever.
G: yeah, but you could block her out.
G: does she type fast?
J: lord no
J: so, i got a digital camera today.
G: see. It could take her so long to tell you anything she’d get tired and that would be that
J: did you see… i got a digital camera today
J: it has games on it.
G: no.
G: cool!!!
J: and, yes. you can borrow my iPod cable. don’t let me forget and i’ll bring it to you. i need to charge mine, too.
G: ok
G: oooh
G: Vince just closed my toe in his laptop lid
J: ouch!
J: why?
G: he didn’t know it was there. LOL
J: LOL
J: ii htink my computer is fixing to restart.
J: be back in an hour
G: LOL
G: cya!
J: maybe not
J: if i’m lucky
G: good lord.
G: Vince ’s downstairs and I told him not to forget the remote since our $4 Dollar General one is down there
G: I mean the $4 one is LOST and we must find it, not buy a new one
G: our good remote was down there
J: of course not
G: and he told me he didn’t bring it downstairs. Um, So you can’t bring it back up for me? I don’t care. I have my laptop, I don’t need the TV on.
J: lol!!!
G: I’d really like to not have a sinus headache for one day
J: ugh. sorry.
J: the cutest puppy is on my tv right now!
G: it’s between that and my neck/back thing. I can’t tell what’s what.
G: not THE cutest puppy!
J: oh, right. the SECOND cutest puppy.
J: my camera has games on it.
G: well that’s good. For when you’re bored waiting to take photos?
J: i guess
G: whatever works.
G: I need some new games for my phone
J: it has tetris so i’m happy
G: I’ve played about 2000 games of word whomp
G: I’m trying to figure out if I actually got a blackberry or a Treo, how much more it would be a month. I really don’t need one but…. I still have a year on my contract anyway
J: well, i have a multi media package on my phone for $9.99/month with like 500 text messages and 1 MB of internet useage.
G: yeah, but we’re on this family plan thing too. It’s too confusing for me.
J: i’m sure you could just add it to your plan
J: all that time we were chatting Thursday night used .3 of my 1 MB
J: wait, i have 200 TM
J: and 40 multi media which is pictures
G: well, as little text and downloadon/uploading I do, it is cheaper to pay per thing
G: which doesn’t work for you so that’s good.
J: well, i don’t text that much and the only reason i do the other stuff is because it’s on the plan. i don’t even remember why i signed up for it anyway, but it’s nice to have just incase i’m bored somewhere and need to chat.
G: the hot cingular downloads–MB Let it Snow is one of them. There’s just like the top 40
G: that and then Sweet Home Alabama. you know, classics
G: Have I told you how much I HATE that Gwen Stefani song?
J: no
G: well I do…I hate it. I HATE it
G: You could implant something playing Fergilicious in my ear if I never had to hear Wind it Up again
J: so, if you ever need to be tortured for any reason i’ll tell them to play that song over and over
G: okay….. http://www-xl.cingularextras.com/fuel/enduser/portal/endUserHTMLDir?dc=0&c1=1&c2=1282&categoryID=1284 go to Women Screaming. That would be an awesome ringtone
G: especially if you didn’t react when it rang
J: lol. that would be a great gag.
G: http://www-xl.cingularextras.com/fuel/enduser/portal/endUserHTMLDir?dc=0&c1=1&c2=1282&categoryID=1393
G: “fat fart”
J: that’s gross!
G: I should put that on mine for the boys
G: Wet Fart Montage
J: this says i’ve used 76 text messages and i know that’s not true. i don’t even know anyone who text messages
G: you can pay $1.99 for a Wet Fart Montage
G: I think each IM may count as a txt
J: oh, if that’s the case then it’s right
G: yeah, I’m thinking now that you said that that was the case.
G: because I’d switched mine over once and had some dork IMing me
G: and she kept saying stuff and I kept trying to quickly key in I’m on my phone ttyl
G: ok
G: hee he
G: sorry
G: lol
G: all that crap. LOL. 10c each time she did that! She’s an idiot.
G: good lord, who crapped in his cornflakes? “Haven’t you watched Elf enough lately?” okay, It’s time for SNL, I’ll put it there. “SNL blows anymore.” Okay well bend over and let me give you the remote. He’s not even watching, he’s watching Elvis and other crap on YouTube
G: Maybe it is me…he’s just trying to bicker and I’m too cranky.
J: so, um, i think i do like Bob.
G: ooohh…do you now?
J: yeah. i think so.
J: i took the kids in my youth band bowling tonight and invited him.
J: so now that i’ve decided that i like him i’m sure he’ll “break up with me”
G: well, I know someone that will kick his ass–or at least his shins–if he does!
J: well, he was pretty adament that i ask to get off early monday so i could go to his christmas party.
G: well that’s good.
G: are you watching SNL?
J: no
G: nevermind then
G: it’s over..the part I was wondering
J: did you get my last message?
J: my thing shows i was signed out.
J: sorry
G: no, I didn’t get anything
G: it has shown you signed out twice now
G: in fact, it doesn’t show you online now but at the same time it isn’t saying I’m sending a message to someone offline.

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J: AT least someone was honest. “I don’t have a job and i don’t want one”
G: LOL
G: and you said?
G: Vince’s watching Tony & my boyfriend on Oprah. And he says he doesn’t like him.
G: dang….the monthly payment on my Volvo SUV is the same as my Suburban. Too bad the Suburban isn’t paid off.
J: Well i didn’t know what to say! I shoulda said good for you for being the first honest person to ever come thru here.
G: …now get off your ass because I’m sick of paying for your loser ass
J: Man it’s hard to type on this phone!
G: we need blackberries
J: Did i tell you my friend who is a boy came last night
G: Vince’s cuddling Dog
G: no!
G: I didn’t see you today.
G: although I did talk to you last night!
J: How sweet. Take a pic
G: I know, I wish I’d had my camera
J: Yep. He scored major brownie points
G: I want to get Vince a watch. I forgot to go look today. I should’ve made a list
G: I got him 2 shirts and a pair of jeans
G: not that you’re any help on your stupid phone
J: We Need to find a deal where you buy one blackberry and you get one free
G: okay
G: and free monthly charges…that’s what gets me!!
J: I know
J: I know
G: now Boy1 just says “I want the phone that’s a camera, a keyboard, and a phone”
J: Yeah, i had to check and make sure i still had mb’s left
J: My brother had one of those and gave it to someone that’s not me!
J: Jerk
G: a-hole!!!
J: Jerk
G: poopface
J: I know.
G: The Office is so funny. I’m sorry you don’t watch it and enjoy it.
J: I know.
J: I know.
G: is that your standard canned response or what?
J: That’s the easiest thing to type on here.
G: lol
J: Someone’s kid is crying and about to make me insane
G: give him some candy
J: That’s a good idea
G: yeah, it’s not my kid so I can say that!
J: Is dirty dancing a book?
G: what does a smiley look like on your screen?
G: Um, I’m gonna say no
J: It shows up as a little face.
J: Pretty cute little faces
J: There are some weird people here
G: is that different from any other night?
J: Nope
G: I’ve got to find gifts for [SIL] & [MIL]
G: not that I want to BUT
G: Vince’s supposed to and he hasn’t
G: maybe just something really weird and random…..
G: Elephant Soap Stone Incense Holder (India)
G: Sleeping Children Paperweights – Set-of-2
G: Desktop Pen Holder with Mounted Fish
G: Sueded Corduroy Jumbo Beanbag (Pear)
G: 7.75 Inch 18/10 Stainless Steel Mesh Strainer (case of 6)
G: Gunfighters Salt & Pepper Shaker Set
G: Rio Rita Ceramic Cookie Jar
G: Tito Chihuahua Chip And Dip Set
G: HOTDAMN! There’s matching Tito Chihuahua Taco Holders
G: http://www.overstock.com/?page=proframe&prod_id=1841942
G: oops
G: Cuban Beat Salt & Pepper Shakers
G: I was sending the links to Vince
G: Commercial Rotisserie Hot Dog Roller Grill Machine
G: Handcrafted Lacquer and Gold Leaf Chalice
G: Tito Chihuahua Cookie Jar
G: where’d you go? Did you not solve the world’s problems yet??
J: so much for leaving early. Geeze. They had 50 patients tonight. They are supposed to cut off at 30.
J: i know. i can appreciate them wanting to help everyone. Really, I can. But they need to learn that they cannot help them all in one night. They need to cut off when they say they are going to cut off. I just don’t think it’s fair to the volunteers who have to wait around for everyone to leave. I finally left at 9:30 and there were still like 5 patients waiting to be seen.
G: geez
J: and they are all bragging about how many patients they had come tonight. Well, that’s great but come on. Stop being enablers and tell people no every once in a while!
J: stepping down off of soap box.
G: LOL
G: you shouldn’t go there any more
J: i’m watching my georgie so i’m happy
G: oh yay
J: well, i agreed to work 2 clinics the next six months.
G: I’m watching 40 Year Old Virgin…again
J: i’ve still never seen that. i’ll have to borrow it.
G: okay
J: so, are you feeling any better regarding your earlier email? or should I even bring it up???
G: well, you know Vince. He just hasn’t said another word about it.
G: we won’t discuss it for 2 more days until it comes up and then it will come up somehow again and nothing will be resolved.
J: so, i rather enjoyed George’s Batman movie. See I am a true fan. I even enjoy the movie that brought down the Batman empire.
G: at some point they will have to call him (when he’s at work and on his cell…never here) and he’s gonna have to tell them we can’t come up until 5 on Friday.
G: or whatever. I mean my mom usually comes in at 3 on Fridays. But if [brother] isn’t here with her car, then she can’t. I mean yes, if EVERYONE busted their ass to rearrange their schedules for THEM then it would work out. But why should we. Why should MY family have to compensate for them?
J: I say just let Vince & the boys go and you can come over here and we’ll drink mojito’s all night.
G: sounds awesome to me
G: me you and Dog
J: works for me!
G: speaking of those crazy people….WTF are we getting [SIL] & [MIL] for Christmas. They’re the last 2 people on the list.
G: I mean I can’t sleep until something’s ordered
J: i’d just give them Manhattan Diffusers and call it a day.
G: I’ve given them the Sweetgrass ones before though
G: I should get that sign…”Life is good since the house fell on my Sister IN LAW” just add my own touch.
J: LOL
G: this was my suggestion earlier http://www.overstock.com/?page=proframe&prod_id=2034923
J: that’s classy
G: just some crazy ass shit. You know? what the hell?
J: like you’re ever going to see them again
G: LOL, exactly.
J: Olive Garden gift cards
G: how about personalized Martini Shakers?
J: what they’ve always wanted!
G: LOL, I know. I’ve done that too. That’s the problem I’ve done it all…anything generic
G: oh, I found chalices on the Overstock site too. LOL. Perfect
J: not as cute as ours, though, right?
G: we have chalices? are you thinking valises? or are you drunk again?
J: oh, sorry! yes, that’s what i was thinking about. duh
G: how about this? http://www.restorationhardware.com/rh/catalog/product/product.jsp?productId=prod170253&navCount=11
J: what’s a chalice?
G: LOL. It took me a minute but I can read your mind strangely.
G: like at church…when we get the wine…it’s in a chalice…a goblet thing
J: oh, okay.
J: http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=1510&f=22303&viewall=1
G: you know…like in the Indiana Jones movie…the holy grail
G: that almost tops my box of Dog turds I was thinking of
J: okay, gotcha
J: i nearly ordered those for the boys
G: that’s where I was wanting to go after Restoration Hardware–maybe they’ll have something at C&B
J: they have a lot of stuff in the outlet
G: ok
J: like this http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=4010&f=13434&viewall=1
G: awesome
J: they have a whole book on deviled eggs.
G: sweet
G: http://ask.metafilter.com/mefi/50044
G: A giftbox of BodyShop toiletries containing cellulite and wrinkle cream, and deoderant.
J: LOL!
G: Giving somone a valuable/large gift that they will not have the ability to secure/insure/store
J: i like the one about a terrible painting that they will feel obligated to hang up
G: yeah…except I’m never going to their houses!
J: true
G: that’s what I need. A book..”The world does not revolve around me” or something to that effect. Think they’d get it
J: probably not
G: how about a picture frame? http://www.crateandbarrel.com/family.aspx?c=2060&f=14148&viewall=1
G: make them think it’s my dog.
J: works for me.
G: I’ve done this:
G: The book “Love you Forever” to a new parent. That damn book made me cry in public. In the middle of a bookstore. And not just a sniffle, but actual tears running down cheeks, choking back sobs crying, and it did it in about 45 seconds flat, which is how long it takes to read. It’s like it has some kind of supernatural power to dig into the very heart of parental love and rip it bleeding out of your chest for close examination.
J: Dog should be a picture frame model.
J: lol!
J: I don’t think I’ve ever read that one. I’ve read the one about to the moon and back… it’s a different one, right?
G: oh yeah
G: it’s awful. I can’t finish it.
G: I love you forever, I like you for always, as long as I’m living my baby you’ll be….
J: then don’t laugh at me for Fox and the Hound!!!!
G: LOL! Those are cartoon animals!!!!!!!!!
G: foxes and hounds don’t really make friends and talk!!!!!
J: LOL!!!
G: and Bambi’s mom died b/c she ate someone’s flowers!!!!!!!!!
J: They might! You don’t know what they do when we’re not around!
J: I have 10 things in my cart at Crate & Barrel
J: My subtotal is $14.40
G: wow, you’re so frugal
J: Hey, when is your birthday again?
G: Jan [X]
J: that’s what I thought. I wanted to know when exactly I was going to call you and read that book to you.
G: LOL
J: [Lady] came in today and told me that I did a really good job in the play last night and how she couldn’t quit watching me and I nearly said, “Yeah, well, tell [name drop] to get me an audition!”
G: LOL
G: Okay, I just got really, really t really tired….really
G: I can’t keep eyes open
G: I’ll definitely be around for lunch tomorrow.
G: nighty night
G: are you there or are you idle because you dropped everything & went with Bob?
J: No, I’m here
J: I went to get something to eat
J: and i rented The Devil Wears Prada
G: here…this will make it allllll better http://www.seemoresideeffects.ca/
G: cool!
J: Yeah, that made it better!
G:
J: Well, and I’m such a sucker. I can’t hardly be mad at him. He called me at 7 and was just leaving the office. He apologized profusely and tried to make plans with me tomorrow and sunday, but i’m busy. I told him that I tried to call him and he said his phone didn’t show any calls except for one from 8:04 this morning, which was not me.
J: He said that he got there at 7 this morning and worked all day on a proposal for Vic who decided to make a boat load of changes at the last minute.
J: am I a sucker?
G: Um, not a sucker but I think it’s time to let him know that the last minute thing sucks
J: Yes. I definitley decided that since this will be what, 5 weeks in a row that it is time to have that little discussion with him. I even had to call him and apologize because I didn’t want him to think I was mad at him because when he called I was less than my nice, chipper self.
J: your cousin/boyfriend’s girlfriend is not nice
G: no she’s not. A bitch. I hate her.
J: me too
J: aaahhh, thanks for my card! you always know how to pick me up!
G: Anytime!
G: LOL, aren’t those…um…great?
J: you’re going to love this movie ’cause Meryl is so mean to her
G: Good.
G: you know *that girl* got a Golden Globe nomination?
J: Are you serious?
G: yeah
J: i missed that somehow
G: yep.
J: this movie makes me want to move to NY and work for Glamour magazine.
G: really? even if they’re mean to you?
J: they wouldn’t be mean to me. i’m too nice.
J: well, I’ll be. there she is. She won’t win
J: ugh. i hate this “i just started my period” feeling.
G: yeah, well…you’ve got 25 more years to enjoy that…so get over it. That’s basically what my OB/GYN told me when I’d stop having PMS
J: i’m ready for menopause. and since I started when I was in the FIFTH GRADE i’ll be having my period until I’m 80.
J: WTH is on her feet? http://popsugar.com/87618/87621
J: is Sephora cheaper than when you buy in a department store?
G: oooh! Free express shipping at f21 on $75 orders!
J: ooohhh!
G: what do we need for Christmas?
J: what better excuse to place an order?
G: I agree!
J: i really do like this http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Outerwear&product%5Fid=2034980037&Page=1
G: ok
J: however, i’m not sure if i’d really wear it. it kinda looks like what Lucy wore when she was pregnant with little Ricky
G: LOL
G: well I already put it in the cart for you!
G: oooh oooh ooh! a hoody in my color http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Sweaters&product%5Fid=2033013303&Page=1
J: lol! you and your hoodies!
G: I know, it’s a sickness
J: like me and shoes, huh?
G: well, just with your cape I’m at $93
J: So, I saw someone with a white dress shirt on with a top like this over it. Too risky? http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Dressy+Tops&product%5Fid=2033605800&Page=7
G: yeah, I know what you mean. It’s worth a try.
J: well, i think i’ll start with a cheap one and see how it goes.
G: don’t you want this? http://www.forever21.com/product.asp?catalog%5Fname=FOREVER21&category%5Fname=Dressy+Tops&product%5Fid=2033180874&Page=all
J: i’m indifferent to it now.
G:
G: so if you waited another week and got it, it would just sit in your closet with the tags on
G: it’s way cute
J: okay. you talked me into it.
G: okay, I figured out [SIL]’s gift from Crate & Barrel
G: an ice cream treats cook book,
G: an ice cream scoop and a set of ice cream bowls
G: so now we’re down to [MIL]
J: sounds good to me. She can invite [name drop] and [big name drop] on over for ice cream treats.
G: LOL
G: Vince’s LOLing too.
G: First it was “What are you laughing at?”
G: he couldn’t believe she called you…she’s never even called me.
J: sure shocked the pee outta me.
G: and couldn’t believe she said that to you.
J: i like this one [F21]
J: my retro one is out of stock.
G: that’s cute too!
J: we have to order fast before it sells out
J: i’m not sure that it’ll fit, but it’s worth a try
J: Um, I’m not sure, but I think my great grandma had a shirt just like this before she died [F21 link]
G: nice yeah…polyester?
G: cute! [F21 link]l
G: I’m done though! I can’t.
G: okay, so….
G: I thought of you earlier tonight….it was a “Tell Jen she will NOT behave like this when she has children.”
G: Now that my children are no longer barfing, I’d like to see [couple]’s baby
G: so I told Vince to call and offer for us to bring dinner over tomorrow night and we can see the baaaaby (Seinfeld reference)
G: so [man] says, “Well, I need to check on the nursing schedule and let you know what time is best for you to show up.”
G: I mean we called ahead because I’d never just spring a visit on new parents
G: but OMG, it’s a BABY…it eats, it shits, it sleeps….
J: Some people are so freaky about stuff like that. my friend W being one of them, so I completely understand!
G: yeah, somewhat of a schedule is fine
G: seriously? And she has a bunch! I thought it was a first time parent thing…not that *I* ever did it
J: Oh, gawd. It drove me CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!
G: well, just know I WILL come kick your ass when you act like that
J: You are welcome to come take my baby ANYTIME you please!
J: DAMN LADYBUGS!!!!
G: lol
J: G, my hair won’t do anything. i’m afraid i may have to cut it.
G: okay, fine. You do that…but don’t come cryin’ to me afterwards
J: i know. but it’s just so heavy that it won’t hold any style. which would be fine if it were three inches longer.
G: what if it had more layers cut in it?
J: yes, that is an option that i’m considering
J: i’m trying to be patient with it
G: I think I”m going to go to sleep.
G: Guess what??
J: what?
G: I DON”T HAVE TO SET MY ALARM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G: it’s the little things, yanno?
J: why don’t you have to set your alarm?
G: because I do’nt have to get up at 7am!!
J: oh, that’s right! it’s Saturday!!!!
G: I KNOW! yay!
G: of course, if I were home ALONE I’d need to set it for 9am…I won’t have to set it because I’ll be woken up
G: okay, I’m gonna hit the hay.
J: yeah, that’s what i was gonna say
G: Good night
J: okay, i’ll talk to you tomorrow!
J: nite

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