Not Quite Fascinating

This post had to be heavily edited. But there will be references to tonight’s events for months, if not years, to come.

G’s family and two other families were kicked out of two bowling alleys. It wasn’t for behaving badly, it was for something completely ridiculous.

J was angry with a friend who was judging her harshly and we said unkind things.

G: I’ve been nauseous all day
G: I’m not sure what it was
G: and seeing black spots
G: I thought I was surrounded by flies at first
J: i’m still sick though so i’m wondering if it was something i ate at [restaurant] If i get sick I’m really telling [friend] about it!
J: well, at least i haven’t been dizzy.
G: seriously….swiping the air…. “Why is this fly following me??”
G: “do I smell like pigpen?”
J: LOL! that’s funny!
J: i mean,
J: oh, i’m sorry!
G: LOL
G: I know, no I laughed at that too
G: this morning I was really nauseous and my stomach hurt
G: so I didn’t eat
G: and then we were in Sam’s and I started feeling bad
G: and the boys were eating every sample of course and even CHOCOLATE was grossing me out!!!!!
J: Oh, my! something was wrong with you!
G: and we went back to the back so I could buy a case of cheese nips to eat to settle my stomach and back against the wall they had sandwiches on croissants as samples…so I ate that, it was good.
G: which BTW, sounds good again for lunch tomorrow
G: so then I felt better
J: where will we get sandwiches on croissants?
G: and by the time we were rollerskating I felt fine…no more flies either
J: cheese nips sound good to me!
G: Um, LBC?
J: well that’s good. the flies would have certianly gotten in your way!
G: Ick. I decided I do NOT like those. Cheez-Its are much better
G: So then at dinner I’m still not that hungry. I just got some sushi and couldn’t eat all that.
G: and when we were in the parking lot calling each other sluts again I could see the flies.
G: Oh, I did have two vodka tonics
J: i’m sure that didn’t help!
G: and all the way home I was nauseous again

J: UGH! i can’t even find a job i’m interested in applying for!

J: so did Heidi move in with Spencer?
G: yes
J: i had no clue!
J: we need to get busy http://gigglesugar.com/218157
G: that’s what I’m here for.
G: oh get this!
[long story G tells about her boyfriend, don't want to drop names]
G: On the way over I had my iPod and was singing one of his songs.
J: there is no way Bob would take me to chicago to see george clooney. well, maybe he would. he is taking me to see oceans 13…
G: Vince says, “He sure loves his girlfriend, doesn’t he?”
J: lol!
G: I guess he saw the people magazine? I dunno
G: “Are you trying to make me feel bad? Like I don’t have a chance?”
G: ADD: Oh! Bon Jovi on AI this week! and a former top 10 AI contestant is behind bars! Back to my story……..
J: whoo hoo!
G: “No, he just raves about her all the time. Like she’s really wonderful. I wonder what she does?”
G: “So you don’t think all those wonderful things about ME?”
G: *backpedal* *backpedal* *backpedal*
G: “No! I just meant he didn’t talk about his other girlfriend like that.”
G: then he told me later when I said something I”ll go to hell for, that’s why he loves me. LOL
J: man, how sad http://msn.foxsports.com/mlb/story/6753712?MSNHPHCP&GT1=9331
J: lol!
J: i had a dream that Bob said i l*ve you…
G: Oh GAWD…that’s why I’m going to hell!!!!!!!!!!!!1111
G: because the Cards cancelled the game vs. the Cubs tonight
G: Which means CUBS SWEPT THE SERIES! WHOOOO! *high five*
J: okay, i know i’ve told you that many times, but this time it’s true!!!!
J: it’s jessica sierra that’s in jail.
G: I know.
G: But all the *real* Cubs fans are thinking the same thing.
J: okay… however you justify it in your mind…
J: so, you think if Bob and i got the tent with two rooms it would be more appropriate for us to go camping together? “but we had separate rooms!”
G: LOL, yes. That’s funny.
J: oh, i have your tent in my trunk.
J: okay, here’s how big of a loser i am. starting this friday, i have my next six weekends planned by the new movies coming out. Starting with Spider Man (obviously Bob’s choice), The Ex, Shrek, Pirates, Knocked Up, Ocean’s 13. Then I’m skipping a month waiting patiently for HP, then I’ll skip three weeks and see Bourne Ultimatium.
G: LOL
J: I’m a loser baby
J: so why don’t you kill me
J: maybe i need that for my ringtone!
G: I have that too…listening to it on my iPod today
G: we were singing Me Love You Long Time at the Japanese restaurant. LOL
G: I told them it was your ringtone..sorry. I had 2 Vodka Tonics.
J: thanks. why don’t you just tell everyone i’m a fornicator who is facinated with sasquatch??????
G: well, I told them that *I* sent it to you for your ring tone…..I think they enjoyed the irony of it.
J: lol!
J: we need to find me a good one for W[friend]. who, btw, i’m not really mad at. like i said, i’m more hurt than anything. but in the end she apologized to me and finally admitted that she might have judged me too harshly. I’d say so!
J: so i asked barack to be my myspace friend. think i should ask john mccain too?
G: probably
J: i want to have a bipartisan page you know.
G: sure
G: man, I’m hungry and nauseous. What a dilemma
J: ugh. maybe some saltines?
J: which sound really good btw
G: dang, don’t have any.
J: me neither
J: well i’m glad to know you’re here!
G: I didn’t hit anything!
G: LOL
G: I was typing my scathing letter
J: i can’t wait to hear it!
J: i’m trying to find a snickers commercial on youtube and now i’d give anything for a snickers!
G: why would you do that to yourself?????
J: i dunno. ’cause it’s my second favorite commercial of all time! the one with the “who’s the chefs?… great googly moogley…”
J: well, i’m going to have to look for it tomorrow at work. i’m tired and going to sleep.
G: Okay, I’ll be writing this letter for the next four or five hours.
J: i’m going to that funeral tomorrow at 10, but i should be out by 10:30 or so, so i’ll email or call you after that depending on what time i’m through. if it’s close to 11 i’ll proabably just not go back to the office and go from there.
J: but i’ll let you know.
G: ok
J: have fun with your letter!
J: nite!
G: good night

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J: you may want to try this black dress on. i can’t even get it over my hips
G: oh bummer.
J: darn hips
G: you’ll have no trouble birthin’ babies though.
J: that’s exactly what i was thinking
J: so, other than the fact that i got about 5 hours of sleep and nearly froze to death i had a really good time on my camping trip.
G: LOL
J: after we finally got on the way after having gone back to [hicktown] two times, finding the first campground full, having a flat and sitting on the side of the road all by myself with a dog.
J: oh, and i fell out of the tent this morning and hurt my knee, but other than that it was a great time.
G: *giggle*
J: oh, and i think we now know what more than one drink does to me. makes me really tired and have to pee. A LOT.
G: nice
J: well, i’m going to go dry my hair and get ready for Bob to take me to eat. i’m starved.
J: okay, going to blowdry (ha. that sounds like you!) i’ll ttyl!
G: bye

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J: are you going to be ready for lunch at 11? I’m starved!
G: I’m always ready for lunch!
J: lol!
G: I’d eat a Hamburger Happy meal
G: just a small diet coke again.
J: did you get my email about F21?
G: Vince went to [hicktown] and brought me back a large Sonic diet coke… isn’t he sweeet? LOL. It’s the little things that keep me happy
J: lol!
G: Oh, yes, okay! I forgot. I’m going in 12 directions this morning. Yay
J: did you remember the tent? (i ask very sweetly so as to not frazzle you giving your directions this morning )
G: no
G: after lunch I’ll run & get it
J: okay. cool.
J: did you know [lady]s mom?
G: no, not really. [lady & daughters] were all at the hospital with her the night we were in the ER. I know she wasn’t well.
G: ooh, look what [friend] found…. http://music.msn.com/michaelbuble so I can watch it from home and cry
J: ooohhh! awesome. Don’t let me forget so i can watch it too!
J: so [lady]s mom died early this morning. just seein’ if you knew her.
G: I’m sure at some point in my life I’ve met her but i just can’t recall.
J: LOL. I just went to the preschool room to give a bathroom break and [kid] had her little stroller and told me, “I’m going to the health food store.” that just struck me as funny. not the grocery store, but the health food store.
G: LMAO
J: ok, i’m going to the bathroom and then going to get lunch. be there in a few!
G: ok’
J: less than one week to go on BOGO and we haven’t been once!
G: good grief! What are we thinking??
J: i have no idea!
G: I hear the UPS man
G: yay, i’ts [UPS]!
G: Dog’s tail is a waggin’
J: yay!
J: i hope i like all my stuff@
G: opening it.
G: ok, my blue dress…way cute. it’s striped. I mean equally blue & white pin stripes…I knew it was striped but it didn’t look that obvious in the pic. I still lvoe it though. ribbon straps and belt
J: cool…and?
G: sorry, Dog lovers here
G: LOL
G: like my pink top too
J: good grief!
J: don’t they know you’re busy?
G: your black dress is cotton…like stiff cotton
J: .ugh
G: and the brown thing is all in plastic
J: well open it!
G: well hang on!
G: okay, sorry phone. The brown thing is way cutge
G: cute
J: now do you think this woman really just had this baby? http://www.hotslings.com/s.nl/it.A/id.561/.f
G: Uh, I’m gonna say no
G: that just looks weird
J: yeah, i agree.
J: i’m gonna say that i won’t be wearing one.
G: well not up on your boobs liek that!
J: okay, i fixed my recipe book. now what?
J: i think i’m going to try Hoodia… “oprah and NBC say hoodia is magic for dieters… lose 25 pounds this month.”
J: ha
G: I don’t think Oprah ever would say that.
J: yeah, me neither
G: Oooh, [company] sent me two of their free [product]
J: cool. As “queen of the internet” i was trying to figure out how long it would take to get to mars.
J: and the answer is 211 days if you’re going at 72,000 mph. but if you’re going 60 mph it would take 90 years.
G: good to know
J: yeah, i figured it would be.
J: i sure wish my replacement would hurry up.
J: yay. i’m leaving. be there in a few for F21!
G: Ok

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G: watchoo doin’ online? you better not be home sick or some BS.
J: i wish.
G: LOL
J: i’m here all by myself today. I’m doing whatever I want.
J: working on my mary kay. surfin the internets…
G: oh cool
G: know what Dog’s favorite new toy is?
J: um, the microphone?
G: yep
J: how funny!
G: OMG, that guy that Dog hated yesterday came in 3x yesterday and just now
G: I mean he HATES HATES HATES him
J: lol! why???
G: I know now. Seriously, I’ve never seen him continually hate someone like that! LOL
G: I calmed him down once but as soon as he talks he’s off on him again!
J: man, i think i’m going to get this line reducer stuff for myself!
J: maybe he’s afraid he’s going to kidnap you.
G: ooops, I forgot what I went for. I started giving myself a virtual makeover
J: lol!
J: sounds like you’re just about as busy as i am.
G: I think I like the shell lip stick color
J: yeah, that looks pretty.
G: I’ve seen it on two of the “models” and like it on both
J: i like to put one of our glosses on over my lip color and it just gives it a little pop. but you’re not much of a pop girl.
G: hey now I hear that metal vibrating thing in the mic like I was talking about! LOL. He knocked it loose
G: no, it’s just lipstick never stays on me for more than 5 minutes. LOL. I do wear it! and lip gloss!
G: and I can never find a color I really like….
G: I don’t like the color lipstick I have now but with the lipgloss over it I do like it but I think that it’s cheap lipgloss and it wears off really fast
J: well, i will say, the MK does stay on pretty well. I have to reapply it after i eat, but who doesn’t.
J: well, if i were you i’d get the shell lip color and either the cream & sugar or the starry lip gloss.
J: probably the cream & sugar.
G: these two girls had the starry over it
J: i’ve never tried the starry but it’s just clear so it’ll go with anything.
G: but I think I’ll go withyou. I have a clear lipgloss already
J: okay, i’ll add it to my order and if you change your mind we can always take it off.
J: and the good thing is, if you get the lipstick and don’t like it we can keep sending it back until you get one you like!
G: okay
G: I do want them
J: cool.
G: I’m gonna e-mail my mom the line thing.
G: okay, and I guess like everything she could send it back if she hated it?
J: absoultley.
J: but she won’t hate it.
J: gotta go pee. brb.
G: I know, I was just going to tell her all of it is like that…maybe she’ll order more!
J: yeah!
J: man, i am still dizzy this morning.
J: and i’m hungry. what’s for lunch? something easy.
G: okay, I need to diagnose you
G: Hmmm
G: it’s all easy if we don’t have to make it!
G: I’ve been thinking all morning BTW, nothing sounds good
J: true!
J: i know.
J: hmmm
G: okay, we really need to decide!
J: yes we do. subway?
G: I guess
G: I want something hot though
J: hmmm…
G: Hot from Subway is fine
J: is there anything else we want?
J: you should see my checkbook register… LBC, MCD, LBC, Subway, MCD, MCD, LBC…
J: oh, and of course there’s a WM thrown in every now and again.
G: LOL
G: I guess I’ll just have a meatball
J: okay. we seriously need some new places around here.
J: if we wanted something from [hicktown] i could run over there.
G: eh, don’t bother.
G: maybe tomorrow?
J: yeah. that’ll work.
J: okay, i’m leaving. be right there!
G: ok

G: Okay, what game should we play? toki toki boom? LOL, I don’t even know what that is! but it sounds fun.
J: i promised Bob i’d be sweet this week but it’s [org] night…
G: oh screw that
J: toki toki boom? sure@!
G: okay, let me go pee first
J: okay
J: then we’ll have to play word racer.
G: ok
G: poop, I don’t hve a mouse! how will I remember all that??
G: ok
G: I’m ready when yo are
J: hang on.. phone
G: there’s [UPS] too
G: I’m not sure I get the point of this
G: okay, I see
G: oh poop
G: that’s not uncle [UPS] out there

G: okay, I want to try this game again.
J: okay, hang on just a sec.
J: alright. i’m ready. sorry. there was someone in here.
G: ok
J: i hope i’m smart enough for this
G: ready
J: what the heck?
J: how did you already win one round?
G: LOL
G: because you must’ve clicked okay and it started!
J: well!
J: okay, here we go.
J: where did you go?
J: i won!
G: I’m here
G: where’d you go?
G: it says waiting for players to be ready
G: it just stopped
G: it says click a “sit” button to join the game. I don’t see a sit button!
G: freakin Yahoo!
J: lol
J: i’m waiting for my opponent to be ready…
G: my game screen is gone
G: it all crashed
G: I don’t get this with all the numbers
J: man, i got lucky there. just started hitting my mouse button!
G: I had none on my screen and then 46 blocks fell down
J: i know! i thought the same thing!
G: I still don’t get this
J: why does it pick and choose when to detonate with those little bomb thingies?
G: i though the round and triangle were the bombs..but you have to be touching the color for the round ones
J: well, that’s what i thought too but sometimes i’d drop it on the right color and it wouldn’t explode until something else fell. i dunno.
G: well there’s something do do with those dumb numbers
J: yeah and they keep changing
J: whoo hoo!@
G: I don’t understand how all of a sudden it dumps 17 on me
J: lol!
J: okay, let’s do something else. we’re not smart enough for this game.
J: word racer?
J: it didn’t take slut!
G: LOL
G: Woohoo! I got Vulva!
J: LOL!!!
J: i’m not very good at this game!
G: LOL
J: booger??
G: dang! How did I miss that
J: i suck
G: I could do better if I shad like 5 minutes
J: you got 120 pts. for spelt!
J: shit is not a word, btw
G: it is in my house!
J: you beat me bad
G: I’m the queen of word games
J: yes you are!
J: hello?
G: I have a toucher
G: hello?
J: i was worried about you ’cause you weren’t doing anything!
J: i thought maybe that guy had come back and kidnapped you!
G: LOL
G: she was about to fall
G: over her walker
J: lol!
G: I was trying to keep an old lady from breaking her neck!
J: well, despite that you’re only 10 pts behind
J: i made a couple of words up and got them
G: lol
J: seel?
G: made it up? LOL
J: lol!
G: nice this lady is rubbing lotion on her hands and touching all the table cloths at the same tie
G: phone
J: i surrender to the word game queen!
G: lol
J: i saw Vince & your dad headed into town when i cam eback from lunch
J: i can win when you don’t play!
J: G & J are not words
G: LOL, sorry
G: showing off my dog and his tricks
J: whoo hoo!
J: lol
G: hang on
G: I had a customer
J: k
G: her partner is bringing her mom to meet Dog now
J: oh, okay
G: and he hasn’t been out yet
G: unless you took him out?
G: brb
G: okay
G: shit my dog is eating scissors
G: it’s not loading here
J: that’ll be fun coming out
J: get it yet?
G: still a blank screen!
J: even still?
G: yes
G: let me close it all
G: now that loaded but I don’t like checkers! I have to play every dya with Boy2! LOL
J: LOL! i don’t even really know how to play!
G: let’s try one more time!
G: I don’t want to confuse it…one more time
G: there it goes
J: ik
G: alright…and we play this how?
G: okay, we’ll we’ll just poke around until someone wins
J: i think it’s kinda like battle ship. we hide octapuses for the other player
J: oh, wait. it’s like minesweeper
G: um okay
G: LOL
G: he’s barking at the glider
J: will yours let you mark the ones you think are octapusses?
G: well, I put buoy’s on them but I don’t know what that’s doing
J: oh, okay. it’s just so you can kinda figure out where they are. do you know what you’re doing?
G: No! LOL
G: his football is on the glider
G: OMG, he just threw that tug thing and hit me in the back of the head!!!
J: LMAO!!!!
J: i hope no one walks by! they are going to think I’m crazy!
G: I”m gonna end up losing!
G: phone
G: nevermind. no one I know
G: he’s trying to get that ball
G: LOL
G: LMAO
G: he fell into his basket of toys
G: trying again
J: ‘lol!
G: he gets like an inch from it and chickens out
J: he was barking at the chair earlier
J: okay, you won that game and don’t even know how to play! i know what to do and still lost!!!
G: LOL
G: so I guess we’re seeing totally different screens from eachother?
J: yeah i guess so
J: crap phone
G: good grief.
J: poop. i made the wrong decision and got ate up!
J: good grief!
J: like i said, i play minesweeper all the time and i’m still getting by butt kicked.
G: LOL
G: 3 in a row I got
G: sheesh
J: well, i would tell you the objective but you’re beating me as it is
G: LOL
G: No, I get that much
G: sorry but I was playing gmaes

G: Home! But I need to get in the shower!
J: wow. you guys weren’t out late!
G: um, it’s past THEIR bed time!
J: yes, that’s true. good time/
J: ?
J: have one?
G: yes! it was fun
J: good.
J: did you tape your shows?
J: the office was lol funny
G: no, and the satellite went off anyway, I’m gonna set it for 10pm-1am
G: okay, shower
J: okay
G: ok
G: we were keeping Dog out to run around since he was pent up all evening
G: and the whole time I’m in the shower I can hear Vince yelling at him.
G: and in the end he ate my makeup sponge
J: awww… he was just so excited to see you guys and Vince was all mean to him.
G: I know
G: well I fed him, took him for a pee & poop and walk and tried to get him to get his ball but he wanted his chew bone
J: he’s so sweet.
J: okay, so do you mind bringing that tent tomorrow? we’re gonna try to go unless it’s raining.
G: um, I’ll try to dig it out, yeah.
J: and um, do you think, maybe, seeing as how i’m your puppy’s aunt and all and that, you know, i bring you lunch everyday… would you trust me with your soccer chair?
G: I can’t wait to hear you talk about this later.
J: oh, yeah. i’m sure it’s going to be great.
J: it’ll be a whole chapter in my book i’m sure.
J: i’ve talked to my boyfriend 3 times today, btw. and he called all 3 times.
G: what a pest!
J: i know. i wish he’d just leave me alone.
J: so did you see where i groveled for a while and asked about your soccer chair? if you need it, though, just tell me. i won’t die if i have to sit on the ground.
G: oh, no I didn’t see that
G: can you have it back to me at 8am on Saturday?
J: um, no. i forgot saturday was soccer. no big deal!
G: LOL
G: I can spare one
J: are you sure?
G: yeah!
G: but not MY chair! LOL! Where would [kid] put her snacks?
J: awww, you’re the best. how about i bring you lunch tomorrow in appreciation?
J: LOL!
G: LOL, oh okay!
G: OH
G: MY
G: GOD
J: yes..?
G:
G: I just checked my Airfare watchdog
G: the one I checked last night
G: and all the time
J: oh, no.
J: don’t tell me
G: and 24 hours ago
G: Fayetteville, AR (XNA) to New York LGA, NY (LGA) $167 RT
G: I seriously could hurl
J: oh, man!
J: email them back and tell them you changed your mind!!!
G: I’m purty certain it’s too late
J: prolly
G: shit…all 3 NY airports have deals
G: I’m sick
J: i’m sorry
G: gonna start blowdrying
J: okay
G: I’m having a hard time because the Office won’t go to commercial
J: isn’t it funny?!
G: I guess.
G: LOL
G: I have one layer dried & straight
G: 2 to go
G: ok
J: okay, i’m going to bed. i’m up way past my bedtime
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow. i’ll be all alone again, so we can play around if you’re bored.
J: oh, and i get to leave early so YAY!!!
J: so, nite!
G: but you haven’t left! good night anyway!
G: or you forgot to close your lid.
G: so I can keep pestering you
G: and pestering you
G: and pestering you
G: until I fallllllllll asleeeeep

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J: so, is Vince going to let you go to NYC?
G: No.
G: first he said no way
G: then he looked up airfare
J: bummer.
J: so who was voted off tonight?
G: OMG, you need to watch it! Can’t you FF to that part?
J: man, i got so dizzy tonight that i thought i was going to fall over.
J: and i’m still spinning like it’s nobody’s business.
G: weird
J: go ahead and tell me who was voted off. there’s no way i’ll make it down stairs. if you don’t hear from me for a few minutes you may want to check on me. i feel really weird. and your avitar isn’t helping !!!
G: oh, Kelly Clarkson sang
G: no one
J: what did she sing?
G: something about a mountain..it wasn’t good. LOL
J: lol
G: I was wrestling the dog
G: he was being psycho
G: today Oprah’s dog lady was on
G: giving her secrets
G: you know what you’re supposed to do when they jump up on you??
J: what?
G: turn your back to them.
J: didn’t you already know that?
G: yeah, isn’t that what we’ve been doing and it doesn’t work
G: he’s retarded
G: she didn’t say what you do when they spaz out like he did tonight
G: so anyway…..at the end of idol
G: it was down to Jordin and is that other guy with the buzz Chris?
J: um, yes
G: well Ryan was saying all night there was a shocking ending
G: or result
J: let me guess…
J: no one was voted off?
G: so they’re both standing and he goes “Chris……you’re staying.”
G: I already said that! LOL. No one.
G: and so Jordin starts crying and he tells her she’s staying too.
J: oh, poor thing!
J: well, i knew last night when he said there was going to be “the most shocking reveal ever” that no one was going home. i just had a feelin’
J: i want some chocolate cake.
G: mmm
G: My mom made cherry pie for dessert but I just had a bite of Boy2’s
J: wow. you were good!
G: well just in case I was gonna see my boyfriend Monday night I need to be on a diet starting now! LOL
J: lol!
G: I wonder how cheap airfare would have to be for Vince to say yes to going?
J: hmmm… i dunno. have you found something cheap?
G: $344 is the cheapest I think
J: wow. i’m gonna say that’s probably not cheap enough.
G: no, I ran that by him
G: he was finding them for $1000 a person. Holy shnizz, I can go to [faraway foreign country] for that! Where are you lookin?
J: everywhere. cheaptickets, expeidia, aa, delta…
G: no..I was asking him where he was looking? LOL
G: I’ve looked everywhere
J: oh, lol!
G: I did find a $10 fare from KC to Columbus on 5/22
J: where’d you find that?
J: i’ve always wanted to go to columbus.
J: okay, so it appears that they’ve taken the rain out of the forecast for the weekend. can we still use the tent?
G: yes
G: I could fly from Nashville to NY for $99
J: where are you looking?
G: Smartertravel.com
J: OMG. [tv news] is saying that it’s going to be 38 on Friday night!
G: LOLOL
G: ha ha!
J: there is no way.
J: weather.com says it’s going to be 50.
J: do you have a few sleeping bags and blankets i can borrow?
G: you can just snuggle extra close
J: that’s gonna have to be really close.
J: wow. I found a flight to [faraway foreign country] for $887.
J: oohhh… $825.
G: OMG, my heart stopped
G: Boy2 kicked the ladder down of f the bunkbed
G: big crash.
G: loud
J: did anyone sleep through it?
G: oh yeah, they did
J: Dog?
G: Dog didn’t…I could hear him jump too….his tags tinkling
J: lol!
G: Lost is so weird
G: SO freaking weird
J: i know. that’s why i don’t watch it.
J: i tried to watch it for a while, but man!
J: you miss two minutes and you’re totally lost
J: no pun intended.
G: I know….like Vince
G: and then he asks
G: but then he asks WHY
G: “Why is her baby going to die?”
G: because she got pregnant on the island so the baby will die
G: WHY?
G: because that’s what happens on the island!!! Duh
J: lol! is there really a “why” to that show?
J: oh, man. [company] has a position open in [county] but you have to have your masters degree. i’m sure my 1/2 of a masters won’t cut it.
G: well, how many people have their masters around here? LOL. Can’t hurt to try
G: Frankly, I’d really prefer for you to take a job IN [hometown]. HOw in the hell am I supposed to eat lunch without you?
J: lol!
J: i know!
G: So I guess I need to e-mail this dude and tell him I can’t come to NY. I’ve been putting it off all night
J: poop.
J: i’m sure your boyfriend will miss you
G: yeah
J: yeah, i’m sure you’re right. he’ll appreciate you being so self-less and all.
G: yeah
J: okay, i went ahead and sent my resume. sometimes they will substitute work history for degrees. maybe. who knows.
G: good
G: I’m gonna start getting sappy here [picture of baby boy2]
J: awww! how cute!!!
J: more!
J: well, i have to say. he’s even cuter than puppy
G: yep!!
G: here’s a good one!
J: aww! whose puppy?
G: it was from the shelter
J: cute
J: you got yourself some cute kids, there!
G: I know.
G: too bad they grow up and get smart mouthed
G: I’m certain that’s what my mother was thinking too!
J: yeah, i’m pretty sure
G: LOL
J: it’s past my bedtime.
G: I know!
J: i’m ready for lunch tomorrow.
G: mmm…what are we gonna have?
J: mmm… i dunno.
J: right now i’d take anything.
G: yep
J: okay, we’ll talk about it tomorrow. nite!
G: okay, nite

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J: well, maybe it’s tomorrow night, then. man, i’m just all confoosed.
G: I have to take my dog out, BRB
J: k
J: whoever her stylist is should be shot
G: okay
G: back
G: and the dishwasher loaded
J: ugh. i have a few dishes i need to put in my own dishwasher. blah.
J: i’m just going to go do it. it’ll take me 2 minutes if I just get off my butt and do it.
G: do it!
J: see? already finished.
J: i’ll set my DVR right now.
J: ugh. Bob says it might storm this weekend so we may not go camping.
G: whimps
G: you may need to put it on channel 7 and let me know if there’s any tornadoes coming
G: our DTV just went out and I can see the trees blowing
J: during Idol? are you serious?
G: Ugh, I hate that. Boy1 is on his way back from [town] right now
J: what is he doing in [town]
G: well if you disappear I’ll know you blew away and to head to the basement real quick
G: field trip
J: channel 7 has commercials, so i’ll turn it back here in a minute
G: ok
J: are you not getting 5000 emails from them?
G: 3
G: Tornado Watch 177 Remains Valid Until 11 Pm Cdt This Evening For, The Following Areas In [state] This Watch Includes 7 Counties [list of counties]
G: This Includes The Cities Of, [list of cities including ours]
J: ugh.
G: holy shit
G: I went out to get my purse
G: and a bird was in my door wreath
J: don’t tell me something scary
G: and it flew into my ear
J: Oh, okay
J: LOL!!!!
G: and then Sasquatch was sitting IN the car trying to stay dry…I almost peed my pants
J: LOL! who was in the car?
G: and nothing smells worse than a Sasquatch but a wet Sasquatch
J: ick
G: no, the bird is why I said holy shit. I can still feel where it flapped in my ears
G: ear
J: did you scream like a girl?
G: no, I think I pretty much just said holy shit
J: can’t say that i blame you!
J: That Jordin does have amazing vocal control
G: yep
J: oh, so i was in the [building where we were formerly employed] earlier!
G: I just said your name and Dog looked at me.
J: oh, he loves me
G: Boy2 was asking if he could have a pickle and I said he already had one today
G: did you pet the camel?
J: lol!
J: no, but i nearly stepped in his poop.
G: LOL
G: Vince wanted to know why there was a horse trailer parked back there.
G: he was afraid someone was unloading stuff from the [business]
G: I told him, NO there’s CAMELS in the [building]. “HUH???”
J: lol!
G: Dog is having some quality time with his blankey
J: that’s nice. thanks for sharing
G: 1 more tornado watch
G: since you can’t be here to see it…picturing him humping a blanket is the next best thing
J: oh, yeah. absolutely.
G: Boy2 doesn’t want to go to bed
G: he wants to stay up to get Boy1
J: awww how sweet.
G: Round 2 with the blankey
J: wow.
J: he’s got some stamina there.
G: yep. poor blankey
G: no kidding
J: so thursday is your day from hell, huh?
G: well today was supposed to be partially from hell but I cancelled several things. I have stuff every day this week

G: Vince’s trying to be a jerk. I’m laughing at him.
J: trying to be a jerk? must be hard for him.
G: “Can you throw me my cord when you go upstairs?”
G: …..
G: waiting for please
G: “If you know what’s good for you.”
G: No, he’s trying to be a REAL jerk..a bully. LOL
G: I laugh at him. that only makes it worse
G: he thinks he’s funny
J: we must have subway tomorrow. i had pizza hut tonight.
J: the only place in [state] that is going to have that Dirty Dancing thing is in [town].
J: you know, Bob & I had talked about going to [town] sometime. I’m thinking that would be the perfect weekend.
G: tsorry, the dog closed the lid
G: he was worked up big time
G: obviously he hit a few buttons
G: and then slammed the lid
J: yeah, i was wondering why you sent me that twice!
G: LOL
G: I came and put this on the bed and went to put him in his crate
G: and he just went nuts
G: I had a chew thing for him too and he was trying to get it and drug me across the carpet!!
J: lol! i heart puppy!
J: so i already got my check for the 1st since [boss] is not going to be here. it’s $50 less than normal.
G: and at the same time Boy1 called
G: Vince answered
G: “Dad, where ARE you?”
G: Vince: “Are you back? You weren’t supposed to be back until 8:45″
G: “Well let’s just say I’m 15 minutes early.”
G: smartass!
J: lol!
J: wonder where he gets it?
G: Vince said he’s gonna spank him in front of everyone….”Let’s just say I’m giving you your beating 15 minutes early.”
G: my phone software updated
G: so I needed to set up my phone again
G: it asks how you’re connected to the computer
G: and then it’s cable, infared, bluetooth
G: and next to cable it seriously says “What’s a cable?”
J: did you hit it to see what it says?
G: and of course now it isn’t gonna work…it’s taking forever
G: no, I should’ve
G: I figure if you don’t know, you shouldn’t be using a computer OR a cell phone
J: i totally agree.
G: lovely, Boy1 drank coke for dinner
G: and you can tell
J: awesome!
J: is Boy2 still up?
G: I don’t think so
G: he was almost asleep a bit ago
G: crap, now it’s not recognizing my phone again
G: why did I let it update??
G: @#$@#$#2
J: oh, man! what will i do if i can’t ask you for new ringtones???
G: I KNOW
G: and I had one for you
J: oh, man!
J: what was it?
G: I’m gonna get it to work
J: i know you will. you always do!
J: i forgot to tape Gilmore Girls tonight! Crap!
G: bummer
J: i know. i nearly said a bad word.
G: oh snap?
J: yeah. that was it.
G: what the hell is wrong with his hair? http://img2.timeinc.net/people/i/2007/quiz/countrycouples/maines_pasdar300.jpg
J: oh, my. and i think he’s pretty cute.
G: I’m gonna reboot and hop in the shower. I got that program to run a minute then it locked up and now it won’t run at all!! GRR
G: oookay
J: so, how’s the program going?
G: fine I think
J: hahahahaha. you’re funny. funny. [sent Sasquatch ringtone]
J: i’ll set that as Bob’s tone on my phone.
G: Yes, that’s a great idea.
G: if nothing else he’ll appreciate that
J: i need “Dontcha” ’cause it makes me want to sew my mouth shut everytime i hear it so i could be hot like a pussycat doll.
G: LOL, okay
J: but, that would be way arrogant of me, so… and, considering I’m not hot like that…
J: i think i want Barack Obama to be my friend on myspace.
G: okay, why not?
J: i can’t think of a reason not to.
G: go for it then
G: what a tease…my New Music Tuesday thing from iTunes said Maroon 5 but they don’t come out until 5/22
J: i want to get their new one. i like the new song a lot.
G: me too
G: blow dry….
J: okay, i think i’m going to bed.
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow. nite!

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J: whatcha doin?
G: um, watchin 2 1/2 men
J: oh, yeah?
G: doing sign language to Vince about “Night At the Museum”. My mom’s gonna get it for Boy2 for his b-day
G: he doesn’t have a clue what I”m saying but he’s nodding
J: lol!
J: what kind of sign language are you using for that movie?
J: not that you can show me or anything.
J: stupid question.
G: brb
G: LOL
G: ok
G: I’m not missing The Bachelor am I?
G: it’s not til 9, right?
J: no, it’s 8:30
G: dang, okay
G: an hour and a half one! Sheesh
J: an hour & a half of crazy women
G: Vince will love that.
G: here he comes too
G: Let the bitching begin.
J: gross. why do i want to get married again?
G: huh?
G: I didn’t even mention the holey underwear I threw away and he’s upset about.
J: so Bob keeps telling me that he wants me to be sweet.
J: when am i not sweet?
G: um, he needs to spend more time with me…I make you look sweet
J: i think he still hasn’t completely caught on to my sarcasm.
G: then again, he might see where you get it from and want you to stay away from me!
J: like tonight we were talking about this new guy that works at [company] that [someone] wants to hook up and i told her “don’t look at me. one [company] guy is enough for me.” then i told Bob that i could never date two men who worked at the same place. it would get way too complicated.
J: he was like, “do you want to date two guys?”
J: “um, i was trying to be funny but obviously that didn’t work on you.”
G: mmm, yeah, you can only joke about having boyfriends when you’re married.
J: um, why didn’t you tell me this before now???
G: sorry
G: OMG, this girl crying is gonna get smacked.
G: she can’t do her hair b/c her foot is hurt?
J: what the heck does her hair have to do with her foot???
G: I know
G: nice tat
J: huh?
G: she’s got a big tattoo on her shoulder
J: oh
G: I think she is showing who she is…a big ole crybaby over an injured foot.
J: they are showing Sonic on the food network. i’m hungry for sonic now
J: mmm… onion rings
G: you’re not watching this show??
J: no
J: fine. i turned it over.
G: fine
J: don’t get mad at me when i ask all kinds of stupid questions
J: like, is there anyone on here that you like? or are they all idiots?
J: she’s really pretty
G: no…they’re all idiots so far
G: which one was pretty?
G: back at the house?
J: the one going on the single date
G: yes, she is. There’s maybe two that are attractive. I just don’t think most are very pretty
J: is he drunk or does he always talk like that?
G: he always talks like that. he’s a dork
J: but he’s cute
G: eh, he’s not my type
G: he’s too pretty
G: and fake white teeth. He looks like he should be a weather man
J: yeah, he does look a little fakeish.
J: what am i going to do if i can’t find a new job?
G: *shrug*
J: me neither.
J: will you come check my house periodically while i am away in [far away foreign country]?
G: sure
J: i’m looking at travel checklists, btw…
J: okay, that girl is not pretty.
G: no
J: i hope i don’t get travellers diahrreah.
G: me and you both.
G: speaking of, how’d that salad settle today? Vince thinks I got food poisoning but we ate the same thing.
J: really? i feel fine.
J: so you’re sickly feeling?
G: after I ate I was
G: I’m fine now
J: hmmm. that’s odd.
J: OMG! just guess how much it costs for the alternative certification program!
G: $5000
J: well, no smarty pants. but $1200!
G: okay well then that doesn’t sound so bad to me! LOL
J: that’s my ticket to [far away foreign country]
G: well which would you rather do?
J: hmmm… probably be a teacher if i can’t start being sweet.
G: LOL
G: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLud6yM47u8
J: i’m so excited!
G: me tooooo
G: wait, what did she say?
J: that girl is horrible!
J: she told her that she heard that Amber almost had sex with andy last night
J: man, they picked some ugly girls for this season
G: I know!!
J: maybe that’s what i should tell Bob. “If you know what you want already I don’t want to get hurt.”
G: Um, listen, I wouldn’t get any ideas from The Bachelor.
J: true.
J: i have to tell you that i really sometimes wonder if i shouldn’t move back to [state]. i mean, i can’t find a job around here, but on the other hand there’s Bob. but i don’t want to waste my time waiting around for some guy.
J: not that i think i’m wasting my time with him, btw
J: i really don’t, but…
J: i mean, that’s how bad i want to get out of the church.
J: how many are going home tonight?
G: I dunno
J: okay, seriously. these girls are not pretty!
G: I know! I said that from the first day!
G: WTH?
J: even I’m prettier than these girls!
G: ooh, burn
G: the bitchy girl got it
G: OMG…lol
J: I know.
J: i think i’m going to bed. i need to go figure out ways to be sweet
G: ok
J: our F21 still hasn’t shipped, btw. i wish it would hurry up.
G: that sux!
J: okay, well i’ll see ya tomorrow at lunch!
J: nite!
G: night

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J: oh, just sittin here watchin’ Junebug.
J: whaaadddup wit you?
G: we’re watching Ferris Bueller
G: except Boy1 is in front of the TV
G: “Boy1, can’t see…BOY1, STILL CAN’T SEE”
J: lol!
J: so, how’s the boat???
G: cool
G: Dog loved it too
J: did he swim?
G: [photo of dog on boat]
G: No
G: too cold
G: I wouldn’t let anyone swim. I’m too mean
J: aww! that’s such a good picture! he’s so pretty!
J: that’s an attractive one of Boy2, btw
G: he is. he needs to be a dog supermodel I think
G: LOL
G: I know
G: he’s got drool even
J: i saw that.
J: ugh. i finally started. so have my cramps.
G: me too
G: today
J: me too
J: we’re spending too much time together
G: apparently
G: Boy1 wants you to know he’s howling like hordica from bionicles 3—which you have not seen.
J: awesome. tell him i can hear him all the way over here.
G: Okay, I’m teaching Dog to do this: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/1294/worlds_smartest_dog/
J: um, good luck with that
J: i’m sure he can do it!
G: mmmhmm
G: how we came across it, Boy1’s friend [kid] said [dog breed]are the smartest dogs
G: and I told him no, other [dog breed]s are. So let’s just ask the internets
G: and the lists of the internets say I am right
J: well, if the internets says it then it’s true.
G: I saw this commercial earlier…thought it was hilarious. http://www.discoverboating.com/
J: that was a really weird movie.
J: that’s a cute commercial. i think i’ve seen it before.
J: you are officially a dog person, btw…
G: I’ve seen the discoverboating.com commercials but not that one
G: I still want a kitty–or two or three
J: OMG. I hate cramps!
G: Me too. I think I need some advil–again
G: Woke up with the cramps, migraine and backache–upper back ache, on top of the lower back cramps
G: took 3 advil, drank a cup of coffee and then I was good
J: well mine just started about an hour ago. hopefully they’ll go away.
J: it’s supposed to be 82 tomorrow!
G: ooh yay,
G: what cute dress will I wear?
J: i know. that’s what i was thinking myself.
G: LOL, I’m watching the PPV previews for Borat over and over
G: b/c the satellite went off and back on
G: and now it’s on that channel
G: and I can’t get it to work well
G: Vince wants to know your opinon of Borat. He doesn’t understand why I love it so much. I mean he likes it a lot but I could watch it all the time. He says I have a screwed up sense of humor
J: well, i certainly enjoyed it, but i don’t think quite as much as you. but if you want to tell him that i think it’s better than dirty dancing you can
G: LOL
G: “Did she like the part where he’s got the picture of his son’s penis?”
J: loved it.
G: he thinks that’s why I liked it
J: between that one and the naked scene i don’t know which i liked better!
G: he laughed
G: we’re having a battle of the temperatures
G: he’s sweating and I’m freezing
G: I’m sure it has something to do with him being sunburned. Because despite the fact I HANDED HIM sunblock, he “forgot” to put it on everywhere.
J: likely story.
G: yeah, next time I”m applying it on all 3 of them
J: i got a little bit of a burn around my neck yesterday, but it already went away.
J: OMG. there were a bazillion people @ [place] yesterday. i don’t know what i was thinking.
G: I’m sure there were.
G: you’re crazy is all
J: yep. that’s it. crazy for a stupid boy.
J: who seems to be crazy for me, btw.
G: exactly
J: i told him about us going to [restaurant] on thursday and what the waitress said about us ordering diet sodas and salads and he asked, “Is G really strict about stuff like that?”
J: Um, no!
G: LOL
G: and how often do I order a salad there?
G: and I know I go without you but maybe that’s the 2nd one I’ve had there all year.
J: i told him that you’re kinda like me. we have them occasionally, but for the most part…
J: you do get the greek salad quite a bit.
J: ugh. i may have to turn my air on. it is HAWT up here.
G: I’m freezing still
G: I have on a hoodie even
G: of course the AC HAS been running
J: then we should trade places.
J: man, i just hate to turn my AC on. my elec bill has been so low!
G: can’t you open a window?
J: i did. and i put the fan in it.
J: G, what do i want to be when i grow up?????
G: LOL, I don’t know. What about me?
J: lol!
G: Oh, I didn’t mean YOU want to be me!!!
G: I mean what do *I* want to be when I grow up.
G: But LOL, sure you can be me!
J: you know those tests you take in HS that tell you what you should be? mine said that i should be an air traffic controller or a beautician or a musician.
J: lOL! i knew what you meant!
G: okay, phew, I read it again and took it that way myself! “Man is she cocky”
G: maybe you should be a beautician then
G: and if that doesn’t work, go for Air Traffic Controller
J: LOL!!
G: yeah, there’s some Army test thing we did and I knew more about tools than a lot of the boys. I got some weird ones. I can’t remember what.
J: yeah it was an Army thing that we took.
J: i kinda think it’d be fun to be a beautician, but only if i could work in a way cool salon and make a way lot of money!
J: okay, i think i’m going to have to go down and turn on the AC.
J: Dr. G, my feet feel like they are on fire they are so hot!
G: okay, that’s just weird
J: i know! that’s why i told you.
G: your liver needs to be detoxified
J: LOL!!! i mostly told you ’cause i wanted to see what you’d come up with!
G: yep, and I love the challenge
J: i know you do.
G: or Erythromelalgia
J: i bet that’s what it is. am i going to die?
G: Gout
G: I don’t think so
J: hmm… doubt that it’s gout.
G: Neuropathy
J: haha. that rhymes.
G: Vitamin deficiencies
G: LOL
J: now that could be
G: Tarsal Tunnel Syndrome
G: I like that
G: TTS
J: yeah.
J: is it ’cause i use my toes too much?
G: wonder if it has something to do with your gross toe
J: hey, it could. maybe i should go tell dr. france i have TTS
J: don’t you know she’d get a kick out of that?
G: yeah
G: just don’t tell her I diagnosed you
G: unless I’m right
J: oh, okay.
J: you don’t want her running to you asking for help all the time
G: Burning feet is a common complaint, especially among people over 50 and those who are diabetic. Thyroid dysfunction, gastric restriction in morbidly obese people, and heavy use of alcohol also have been linked with burning feet. Neuroma and tarsal tunnel syndrome, which causes a pinched nerve, also can result in burning feet.
G: true
J: hmmm… i’m not over 50, don’t have diabeties, hope that i’m not morbidly obese, but it must be the TTS
G: LOL
J: i can’t keep my eyes open any longer. and besides that, the background on your avitar is hypnotising me, so i’m going to sleep.
G: Me neither.
G: maybe that’s it
G: I’m sooooooo tired
J: it’s been a long, busy weekend.
G: yep
J: okay, i’ll see you at lunch
G: goooood night. I’ll ttyt!
J: nite

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