Not Quite Fascinating

J: you’re not going to WM this morning by any chance are ya?
G: nope, why?
J: i need POSTCARDS. I HATE POSTCARDS. have i mentioned that lately? and i bought the last box downtown last time i was in there.
G: trying to think if I had some @ work
G: I know the other day I saw a CASE of the name tag sized punch outs…can you just make your postcards smaller?
J: i only need like 25. but as many stupid postcards i have to send out i might as well buy more.
J: hey, now there’s an idea!
G: I *may* have some. I’ve had them before.
G: yeah, I have NO CLUE why I have a case of those!!!!!!! I mean gazillions
J: maybe you accidentally got them instead of business cards? Lord knows I’ve never done that
G: I think I’d have realized it though! I mean they’re opened. And I ordered them from a place online.
J: [boss]’s going sometime today. i just don’t want to go back to BV today!!!
G: Boy2 put Dog’s bandana on him today
G: I do have postcards
G: 4.25×5.5″
G: a LOT
J: awesome! how much you want for them???
G: Um…is it a tax deductible donation??
J: lol! i was fixing to say would you like to make a charitable donation?
G: yeah, I mean what else would I do with them?
J: omg. you should see my desk.
J: my OCD is fixing to kick in at any minute. i just know it.
G: you should see my FLOOR–in the back room. Desk is okay but that dog is into everything!
G: now he’s barking again!!!!! GRRRR
J: I ALSO HATE THE TAPE DUPLICATION MINISTRY.
G: okay
J: brb. gotta reboot
J: okay. i’ve done all my work. now i can play with my website!
G: yay
G: Okay, I have a deal…I’ll give you these postcards for a small stack of regular paper–just cheap copy paper….I’m almost totally out!
J: sounds like a deal to me!
J: i’ve got it under my purse so i don’t forget!
G: okay
G: man, [UPS] is REALLY early!
G: I’m ready…within the last 30 seconds
J: okay. i’m really hungry. know what sounds good, though? those chipolte bbq snack wrap things.
G: How old would you guess he is? I just went back out b/c I forgot to stick the little pen thing back in his computer & he was telling some guy he’s been with UPS 23 years.
G: yeah, that does. But keep in mind tomorrow we have the boys again so that might be a McDs day?
G: but I don’t care
J: that’s a good point. does something else sound good to you?
G: um Baja?
J: yep. that’s works for me!
G: ?
G: k.
G: um
G: I should try something different
J: i think i’m just going to get like two tacos and then we’ll have chips & queso.
G: yeah…probably my usual—the 2 chicken tacos (soft)
J: okay.
G: http://perezhilton.com/?p=2635
J: no way! that is going to devestate Bob!!!!!
G: [brother] just sent me an e-mail …….
G: the subject was “George”
G: I was thinking, if he met George Clooney J will HATE HIM FOREVER. LOL
G: it wasn’t, it was about his George Washington bobble head–which is a long story.
J: oh, you’re right there! but his George Washington bobble head does make for a much more interesting story I am sure
J: i forgot lunch! i’ll be there in a few!

G: is it time to go home yet?
G: NOW it’s quiet
G: NOW everyone is eating lunch
J: i want to go home!
G: I REALLY want to go home
J: me, too!
J: and curl up in my bed, close my eyes and take a big ole nap!!!!
J: i know i’m using a different program than you, but do you know if it’s even possible to change the font from a html coded thing?
G: should be
G: can you SEE or edit the code at all?
J: yes. I copied it from the Amazon website
J: i swear you are the smartest person I know. To even know what all this code means. Wow.
[bla , bla, boring web page stuff]
J: i’m startin’ to figger stuff out on my own! aren’t you proud of me, Yoda???
G: yep!
G: I had to get up and move around to keep from going to sleep. This is awful
J: lol!
J: it is a lazy afternoon.
J: the only thing about figgering out this website stuff is now i’m going to have to remember to update it AND now i “get” to redo the other one it’s not big deal, though. it’s kinda fun.
J: and i’m becoming more employable

J: you know, the day goes by so fast when i actually have something to do!
J: okay. i’m now getting bored with the website thingie.
G: LOL
G: I wasn’t gonna burst your bubble!
G: actually, was going to say that you can come do mine when you’re done with that one
G: Lost dude #47 of the day
G: 46 minutes left!!
J: yay!
J: i have to go to LBC at 4:30 to pick up some sammiches
G: I tried to get Vince to bring me Iced Coffee earlier. but then he back pedaled. Well I may not go out after all.
G: Okay, but if you DO go to Conoco could you at least bring me a Starbucks thing? I’m sorry I asked you to go 3 minutes out of the way.
G: “Well now I probably won’t go.” Good grief
J: won’t go where?
G: Conoco.
G: are you paying attention? or are the tubes clogged?
J: tubes must be clogged!
G: G: I tried to get Vince to bring me Iced Coffee earlier. but then he back pedaled. Well I may not go uot afterall. G: Okay, but if you DO go to Conoco could you at least bring me a Starbucks thing? I’m sorry I asked you to go 3 minutes out of the way. G: “Well now I probably won’t go.” Good grief
J: Yeah, see, I missed all that except G: “Well now I probably won’t go.” Good grief
G: we need to invent an instant messenger that doesn’t suck
J: i think we do. or switch to MSN.
G: http://www.delessiomarket.com/Chocolates%20Page.htm
J: oh, wow. i think you need to sell that!!!
J: okay. i might be back. otherwise I’ll talk to you tonight!
G: bye

J: um, where is the singing bee???
G: *shrug*
G: we’re watching Say Anything
J: i love that movie.
J: the singing bee is on at 8:30 and it’s 80
J: s
J: night
G: ok
J: so, check out my heel… [sends photo]
G: fascinating
J: i thought so. it hurts!
G: I’m certain it does
G: I have blister bandaids
J: i may need to borrow one tomorrow.
J: wait!
J: i have some of those somewhere!
G: somewhere…I bought them when I spent that evening with my boyfriend in his hotel suite. b/c I hadn’t worn heels in 3 months
J: there’s the Duttons
G: I’m watching Spongebob
G: ?
J: fun
J: butterscotch
J: that’s a girls name on here.
J: and she’s probably 14
G: oh my…..Glamazons?
J: yeah
J: that was butterscotch
J: that girl on the right

G: Why does Vince back my car into the driveway after he takes it??????????
G: Okay Boy2 grandma (MY mom) is taking him to OLIVE GARDEN someday. WHAAAAAAAAAAT?
J: LOL!
G: I mean it’s Grandma P’s favorite place. but…no
J: did he ask her to take him????
J: i’m not doing very good on this show.
G: I turned it down b/c I had to call my mom and clarify this
J: and what did she have to say?
G: still talking…just a sec
G: okay, well Boy2 told him that we’ve been there before
G: told her
G: and that Boy1 and I threw up from it
G: and their soup wasn’t good
G: ALL LIES! He’s a LIAR….he lies as easily as he breathes
J: LOL!!
G: I liked that lady’s shocked face.
G: the black lady
G: when you get caught between the moon & nyc
G: i know it’s crazy
J: well, that one was easy!
G: but it’s trueeeeeeeeee
J: i loved that song.
J: let’s hear it for my baby
G: I know, I’ve noticed that. There’s some obscure song and some song everyone & their dog knows
J: you know you gotta understand
J: oh, maybe he’s no romeo
J: but he’s my i can’t understand those words
J: oh, oh,oh, oh…
J: let’s hear it for the boy!
G: But he’s my lovin one-man show
J: ah.
J: and now i know
G: Vince says, “Where do I know that guy from?”
G: Joey Fatone
G: “Who’s that?”
G: LOL, I won’t tell J you said that.
J: lol!
G: we’re old
J: no way!
G: I can’t hear any of this so far
G: not one note
J: i’ve heard of this song but i don’t think i’ve ever really heard it.
G: I heard him say Stevie Wonder that’s it
G: screaming
J: tell them to shut up! we’re trying to watch TV!
G: I know
G: I knew that though. I could hear her part
J: are there really words to this song?
G: totaly!!
G: Oh if she called me I’d be there
G: I’d come running anywhere
J: gotta pee… brb.
G: She’s all I need, all my life
G: I feel so good if I just say the word
G: sssususudio!!
J: man, my heel is shredded. it hurts to even flex my foot.
G: yikes
J: no way
G: no way!
G: just the S!
G: this place has really cute bags for like bridal parties
J: oh, yeah? who’s gettin’ married???
J:
J: wow. i’m really glad tomorrow is payday!
G: UGH. I may come sleep over.
G: Vince is being a pie hole
G: about the dog, who has done nothing
G: On SUNDAY at the lake when there was NO DOG IN SITE he hurt his toe. I don’t really understand how or what
G: So then tonight we went to dinner and dog went in the crate
G: and proceeded to barf.
G: Vince is FURIOUS. Vince who has barfed dang near every morning for a month b/c of all this drainage he has……and I get to wake up to that.
G: but he’s mad AT the dog for barfing
G: so I ask him to take the crate outside and the boys hose it out and throw out the sheet in there.
G: then I ask him to bring it upstairs just now. He bitches about it so I say forget it.
G: and he wrestles it away from me. I mean in a joking laughing way
G: so then he somehow re-injures his toe on the stairs and it’s all the DOG’S FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!!! Explain that to me please???
J: hmmm… well, i have no answer because i’m afraid it doesn’t make any sense at all.
G: LOL
G: exactly

J: okay. i’m fixing to pull a Vince… I’m going to have to go live in the poor house!
G: LOL. Okay, great. Well I’ll make room for you in our box
J: lol!
G: he said he needed to go to bed early because he’s got to get up and make money
J: lol.
G: OMG, my back just started hurting.
J: i’m sorry.
J: do you still think you have that cyst?
G: just this one point down low.
G: well, no….I think it burst that one night b/c it went from really bad to nothing
G: but this does hurt like a mofo!!

G: There’s one of those gienormous moths that’s like 6″ wing tip to wing tip on my window
G: where’d you go?
G: it won’t let me keep buzzing you!
G: what’s going on? Now it says you’re using a different version of messenger!
G: did your computer essplode?
J: Ok. My comp is a piece of shit!
J: I’m on my phone
G: I know that. I see that. Bummer! What happened?
J: I think it may have essploded!
G: frick!
J: I am calmly turning it back on…
G: *crosses fingers, prays to the patron saint of laptops*
G: NO WAY there’s totally a saint of the internets!!!!!! and computers. Isidore of Seville
J: Yes. I am praying to all gods and saints right now.
J: Are u serious?
G: Yeah!!
J: Ok. I see the pretty pic of me and bob… Let’s just pray i see the internets!
G: can you see my praying smiley?
J: No. It just shows the characters
J: You know. This is not good for business!
G: no, absolutely not!
G: Following his third sold out show at Radio City Music Hall this Thursday, August 2nd, Michael appears as special guest on the Late Night With David Letterman Show. He is scheduled to perform one song from his new album, Call Me Irresponsible. The show airs on CBS at 11:30 ET/PT. Check local listings for details.
J: okay. i think i’m back in business.
J: and yay! don’t let me forget to stay up and watch it.
G: yay
J: i’m up way past my bedtime tonight with this stupid thing!
G: okay, don’t let me forget that it’s Thursday!
G: I think I have Isthmic spondylolisthesis
G: or maybe Piriformis syndrome
J: you think?
G: well, it sounds good
J: yeah, it sounds really painful
G: I’m guessing it was sit-on-your-ass-all-day-itis
J: yeah, you know, that chair isn’t the best thing to sit in all day long.
G: no…I wish I had someone to buy me a fancy one.
J: well, i would but i’m going to have to live in a corner of your cardboard box so i’m sure we’re all in the same boat
G: exactly
G: I’ll start saving all my boxes so you can have a plush room
J: well, i think i better go to bed. i’ve got to shave my legs tomorrow so i have to get up extra early!
J: tell the boys that if they aren’t good tomorrow I’m not bringing them food!
G: yeah, me too
G: Okay, yeah that’ll work!
J: nite!

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I love Kelly Clarkson. I want to sing like her when I grow up.

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G:  I want this guy, right here to sing at my funeral
J:  Oooooookay

J:  LOL!
G:  Seriously, no crying……just this guy.

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[G Plays Audible]
J: i think you skeered my mom!
G: *giggle*
G: Did she think a little man was in your puter?
J: i think so.
G: teehee
J: so Bob was being mean earlier playing that stupid Chocolate Rain song from YouTube. Have you heard it?
G: YES! LOL
G: It’s on our blog!!!
J: well, i told him that if he played it again that I was just going to stay here and he started playing it again.
G: Tay Zonday. I heart him
J: I’m tempted. I could never ride in a car again as long as I live and be happy.
G: LOL
G: I need to play it for Vince
G: “is it someone retarded?
J: lol
J: i ned to get busy and start reading stuff and listening to stuff so i can have a recommendation page!
J: i know i want to recommend Kelly’s new CD
J: does Dog miss aunt jenny?
G: Yes.
G: I need to upload a video plugin thing so I can embed the video
J: i swear I have no idea how my parents survive without me.
J: my mom simply changed the batteries in the remote and got some random screen to come up and then had no idea how to get it off.
G: thank GOD you were there!
G: They’d be watching the screen until Christmas
J: ?
J: um, I have all these pics in my Photobucket account and I have NO idea how they got there.
G: um…..
G: not me!
J: i swear i do not remember putting them on there!
G: what are they of?
J: and they’re so random.
J: oh, wait. they are from my MySpace slide show.
G: aahhhhh
G: so tomorrow night the boys get to have a sleep over……
G: at grandma Puddin & Poppa’s RV…in the parking lot
J: Sweet!!!
[G’s weird story & photo of the day—posted on her real blog]

G: yeah. They’re used to my bizarre stuff by now. I told JR, I bet I see more bizarre outside my door each day than everyone else sees in a year.

G: I’m trying to find a photo of mine
G: on all the internets I can’t find a photo of anything similar!
G: I did find my 1970s doll house today for JR! LOL.
J: well i can’t imagine why not!
G:  Fug Dress

G: More Fug Dresses
J: i’m so glad you found your bridesmaid dress!!
G: yeah, um…I don’t like ANYONE that much to wear one of those

J: OMG. There is a mosquito the size of a small bird in here.
G: yikes
G: everything’s bigger in Texas!
J: and now my dad is going to pull the curtains off the rod looking for it.
G: there’s a commercial Viva Viagra sung to Viva Las Vegas. Am I dreaming?
J: lord i hope so
J: well, i think i better go to bed. Bob thinks i need to get up “early” and come on home.
G: awww
J: yeah, right.
G: you’ll be so excited to get home…..
J: Oh, and that puppy I sent you the pic of was so stinkin cute! i wanted to bring one home so bad!
G: where was it?
J: oh, I know. I am so ready to come home. I was telling him last night that for the first time i feel like [hometown]’s home. I have a whole life there. Him, you, church, you know.
J: W’s dog had them.
G: awwwwwww
G: what kind are they?
J: so cute. there were like 5 or six of them
J: I’m not sure what kind she is, but she’s a small dog, but who knows what the dad is, so they could grow up to be as big as a St. Bernard.
G: LOL…he kinda looks like that
G: but Aussie’s sometimes have that same marking too.
J: i took a pic of all the babies huddled up. i’ll show you on monday.
G: Oh man, if you go to the [name] Flickr someone commented and her dog looks JUST like Dog but his freckles are different!
J: awww. how sweet! i miss Dog!
G: aww, I bet he’ll pee himself Monday
J: I asked Bob if Step-Dog missed me and he said, “Yeah, I guess.” He’s no fun!
G: *rolling eyes*
J: alright. i’m off. i’ll talk to you tomorrow!
G: okay! we may be out tomorrow night. since the boys are gone! woohoo
J: whoo hoo!
J: don’t do anything too crazy!
J: i’m not sure what Bob wants to do. he said something about going to [town]. i don’t know that i’m necessarily going to feel like it, but if he’s buying, I’m going!
G: LOL! NO MORE car rides dude!
G: you want [restaurant] don’t you?
J: i know.
G: we had it again tonight……..took forever and it was just so-so
G: screwed up everything
J: he said something about it tonight being open and i told him that you said it took a long time.
G: My mom took Boy1 there after he worked @ the shelter.
G: they waited 20 min
G: then the people that pulled up AFTER them got their food so she said something
G: “Oh, we must’ve lost your order.”
G: well she had an appt. so she just had to tell them to forget it!
J: well i hope their customer service gets better or they may not be around long!
G: no kidding!
G: I guess they closed back down a few days b/c their computers weren’t working?
J: that’s nice
J: i’m going to bed. this time. really. i’ll talk to you later!!!
G: ok
G: good night
J: nite!

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Not only is this awesome but you gotta check out his “Chocolate Rain” song!

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Planet Hiltron

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J: Omg! Are u there?
G: yes
J: Did u hear about lindsey?
G: yeah!
G: they’ve been talking about it on h for 30minutes! Although as soon as Kellie teased about it I went to TMZ
J: And brr it is cold in here! And i didn’t bring a jacket
J: I was listening to them on the way in
G: pretend you’re outside in the hot hot hot sun.
J: Oh. And when i get back i MUST STOP EATING.
G: No Mr. Burger for you then!
J: I am seriously sick at myself.
J: Ok. Well we’re fixing to start. I’ll check in later!
G: bye!

J: Hellooooo!!!!!
G: HELLO
G: I was blow drying
J: whatcha doin????
G: watching Seinfeld
J: so does Mr. Burger have grilled chicken sandwiches???
G: Um……
G: I don’t remember
G: they have chicken fried steak sandwiches!
G: and coneys
J: mmmm… coneys
G: I know. I’m tryin’ those next!
J: so i talked to my brother earlier to beg for the phone one more time and he told me that his work is having a talent show (i have no idea why, but…) and the winner is getting a Bose system for their iPod. Well, there’s no way he won’t win and he said that I could have it!
G: nice
G: and yeah, why? LOL
J: yeah! dork.
G: So um, I made friends with some  Hells Angels today at the pool
J: oh, yeah?!
G: the one single guy was mad I was married. He wanted to meet my single friends and I had to break it to him that my only non-married friend was out of town.
J: oh, man. was he hot?
J: so what are they doing in town?
G: I didn’t ask.
J: no, i mean Hells Angels in general. are they having a meeting or something?
G: I dunno. I don’t know what they do!
J: oh, okay. i thought you thought i meant just those guys.

J: okay. i have a couple of pics for you…
J: here’s a squirrel
J: looks like he’s humping the parking thing, but he wasn’t.
G: *giggle*
J: and that, my friend was our dessert!
J: it was YUMMY
G: Oh my!!! Yumo!
J: yeah. and i took that pic with my phone! pretty good, huh?
G: yeah, nice
J: i wish i had some gummy bears.
G: mmm
G: that sounds good
G: these are cute: http://www.soapylove.com/
J: those are totally cute!
G: SWEET! http://www.marcialeichter.com/pics/flaskkeyringbig.jpg
G: http://www.marcialeichter.com/tampon.html
J: all that stuff is really cute
G: I love Scrubs
J: i love youtube.
J: well, i think i’m going to go to sleep. it’s been a long day.
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow! Nite!
G: good night

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J: well, do we have a new lunch spot? [new “fast food” restaurant opened today. G texted J about it]
G: If you think they’ll give you another 30-45 minutes for lunch!
G: it took a good 20 minutes
G: and then we didn’t get any fries
G: I mean they didn’t charge us for fries but we ordered a combo which said “fries & drink”
G: I’m not sure how much time we spent from home between washing our car and that! probably an hour!!!!!!!
G: but it was good
G: We could just eat the kids burger that Boy2
G: got
G: it was hardly any different from a regular single burger–which I couldn’t even eat all of
G: or I should say I still feel like I just ate it
J: well cool. i’m sure we could call it in and surely it would be ready
G: well, I’m sure it is 1st day jitters
J: so, we took communion tonight and they gave us real wine!!!
G: or 1st week
G: or whatever
J: i was NOT ready for that!
G: No WAY…you guys are WILD & CRAAAZY
J: I’m tellin’ ya!
J: It was so funny! the girls that i was sitting with were like, “well, that was a surprise!”
G: I’m telling [Boss] you’re down there boozin it up
G: Link
G: now I”m distracted
G: Link
G: Cat Pee Lip Balm (tube)
G: Jalapeno Poppers Lip Balm (tube)
G: Jelly Doughnut Lip Balm (tube) mmmmm, donuts
J: ugh. I don’t think i’d want my mouth to taste like Jalapeno poppers!
G: Mountain Dew Lip Balm (tube) yeehaw
G: Painkiller Lip Balm (tube)
J: did you see my new myspace pic???
G: yes.
G:  Link
G: I want that
G: did you get my e-mail from today?
J: Yes! Do you know them or is it an internets find?
G: LOL…no, it was just an e-mail forward
G: did you not think it was hie-sterical?
J: Yes! You should send it to Bob. He’d love it
G: ok
J: did [hairstylist] a call you?
G: So grandma took the boys to the library today…….. Boy1 checked this out: Link
G: No, why? We saw her at the lake yesterday.
G: her and her good little dog that LIKES TO SWIM
J: LMAO!!!!
J: has he practiced on Dog yet???
G: yes and Dog does not seem to care for it.
J: LOL!
G: or maybe it is just more like “WTF are you doing?”
J: So, [hairstylist] called and said that she’s at a new salon. I’m glad she told me ’cause I need a trim, and OMG…
G: last night, this was so funny…….everyone was going to bed……..
G: oh yes, she told me that
G: Dog goes into his crate and Boy2 was holding the door open. There are 2 doors on it you know, front & side.
G: so put him in and lock that door
G: well I guess the side door was open
J: I think I found a gray hair earlier
G: so about 2 minutes later Vince & I are in bed and here he comes, casually. And jumps up on the foot of the bed and lays down and just tries to shrink himself down so we don’t see him. Like he actually belongs there. He raised his eyebrows too. It was hysterical. Maybe you had to be there.
J: how cute!
G: he’s not allowed in the bed BTW. I wouldn’t mind him sleeping in my room in his own bed but he’d never stay on it all night
G: oh please on your gray hair.

J: so my room has a tv/dvd player in it. and a kitchen with plates and pots & pans and everything. i could live here.
G: fancy
J: i’m registering to win an iPhone & an iPod. maybe i’ll win them both.
G: sweet

G: nice……
G: here’s how people found our site:
G: Search for “vulva + dog”
G: Search for “puppy losing hair”
J: huh???
G: Search for “freshdames”
J: I don’t remember ever talking about either of those things on the site!
G: not vulva
G: dog yes
G: vulva no
G: Search for “andy/tessa”
J: well, true. interesting combination.
G: I need to go to sleep
G: SOME people have to work tomorrow
G: before they leave early to go to the pool

J: well, i need to go to sleep as well. Oh, and if i ever say i want to move to austin, please knock me in the head with something big and heavy.
G: Okay. I will!!! Good night!
J: okay. nite!

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In 31 hours G read all of…….

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