Not Quite Fascinating

J: do you know[two girls]?
G: no
J: dr. [name] (sp?) just called & said there’s an amber alert out for them
G: oh man!!!!
G: do they go there? I mean they’re locals?
J: Oh…
J: no.
J: apparently they were supposed to be headed to [our]County & the police are looking for them.
G: oh, LOL. Okay. I’m thinking they’re some kids I should know
J: yeah, me too. sorry!
G: I can’t even find them on the web sites (Amber Alerts) just *in case* I saw them.
J: hmm… well, [other boss] said that it may not be an official Amber Alert but the police are looking for them.
G: there really needs to be better shows on in the mornings
G: Today Show: Tony Orlando.
G: Regis & Kelly: Reruns
J: ugh
G: KKITM: reruns
G: stupid shows on fox
J: maybe you should just sleep later?
G: Judge Mathis
G: MAN, I WOULD. If those damn kids would just quietly get themselves ready for school and make breakfast
J: LOL!
G: the Hip Hop Abs informercial is on
G: I should get up and do that
J: go for it!
J: lol!
G: no I looked like a fool. Even all alone I know I looked like a fool.
J: lol!
G: last night we were in the basement getting Boy1 a sax for band
G: and there were some weights in there….just the little one piece weights. I was teasing Vince, “Were these yours?” and acting stupid and pumping them.
G: They were so heavy. I can barely move my right arm.
G: I think I need them myself.
J: um, if you’re playing yourself in a tv show, does that really count as acting?
G: I woke up wondering why my arm hurt so bad.
J: i need to work out with weights to get my arms toned up.
G: I wouldn’t think it should count.
G: Well Ihave some but they’re too light
G: Obviously I need those.
J: so, my little widget thing tells me that the moon is out and it is 64 outside.
G: I wish
G: Hey, here’s how to make your own bubble mailers…http://thisis.notarobot.net/2007/08/make-your-own-bubble-mailers.html Just in case you’re bored or run out.
J: yeah, we should do that during the off season to sell in the shop
J: so, i have an eye appt. on wednesday. now i won’t have to lie. compeletely.
G: LOL
G: perfect
J: i HATE the fact that i have to put my flippin name on ANYTHING around here I’d like to keep!!!!!
G: I’ll get you a label maker
G: You can label everything
J: i ought to go around to every teacher’s desk and take something from them.
G: that’ll teach them! Go for it!!!
G: So last night at about 11 my cell rang
G: it was an [555] area code
G: didn’t answer
G: rings again
G: didn’t answer
G: rings again
G: answer
G: I think it was Sasha…but drunker
G: OMG, she was trying to argue that this was someone else’s number
G: I couldn’t understand 90% of what she said
G: “How long have you had this number????” “Who IS this?” “Did you take her number?”
J: LOL!
G: what reminded me [lady] put my cell # is [not my #] as my cell # on the soccer stuff
G: so someone’s getting soccer calls I bet
J: oh, that’s nice…
G: I’m guessing it may be someone she knows and she just typed it in. LIke when I’m trying to type in mine I type in yours
J: my widgit gidget weather gadget thing still tells me that it’s night time.
G: Must be running on my Windows clock
J: must be
G: Okay, we have like 2 weeks to do the makeover thing. We need to make a date to do that.
G: I wanna go to New York
G: Man, my tubes were clogged
J: really?
G: well, I got here and it says I was connected but couldn’t log in or get mail or anything
G: so I unplugged everything, straightened cords and shook the clogs out
J: lol! well at least you knew how to handle it! someone less smart than us would have freaked out.
G: well I panicked a tiny bit that the internets were down alltogether.
G: of course I was running late and FedEx was here waiting
G: what’s for lunch??
J: man, i dunno, but i’m hungry. i wish there was someplace around here to just get a cheeseburger.
J: one of the kids came in to borrow my 3 hole hole punch and I made him raise his right hand and solmnly swear to return it.
G: I’d take something of his as colateral
J: oh, i should have! i didn’t think of that.
J: i’m getting a headache. back to lunch….
G: k
J: tuna kinda sounds good
G: um, okay.
G: do they have chicken & dumplings today?
J: i think so!
G: hmm
J: does something else sound good?
G: not really but I just had tuna the other day so I was trying to think of something different from there
J: hmmm… yeah, friday is chicken & dumpling day.
G: eh, I’ll just have tuna. I’m not in a soupy mood either
G: I just had a bee land on my computer screen and a picture of a flower was on the screne
G: screen
G: just as I started to snap a pic it flew away.

[J, G, & J's mom have lunch.  G diagnoses J with the Mumps]

J: where’d you go?
G: Okay,seriously, i think you had the mumps http://www.wrongdiagnosis.com/m/mumps/symptoms.htm
J: well, all except for the testicular swelling I’m thinking you might be right!
G: seriously! Is that you or what? Why didn’t I go to med school???
G: I mean you should’ve been immunized against them but [SIL] got them.
J: yep. that’s every one of my symptoms.
G: tada!
G: well see, if I wasn’t afraid of your cooties, I’d have come examined you closer. Not that there’s anything you can do about it.
J: lol! well, and remember my fever/chills started that friday night of the ghost tour
G: yep
J: i think you’re on to something Dr.G
G: Vince’s here using my wifi
G: and he doesn’t want your cooties
J: well i don’t want his either!
G: he made sure that wasn’t your bottle of water he drank from or your chair he sat in. LOL
J: tell him i just coughed into my keyboard so they’ll be there in a few
G: I’m not sure why he wasn’t impressed that I diagnosed you though
G: LOL

J

[G tells J about e-mails with editor of magazine she's going to be in]
G: I know, except I’m gonna freak about the interview. LOL.
G: I’ve got to write down a bunch of intersting things about myself.
J: oh, you’ll do great!
G: I’ll have to do affirmations
J: lol
G: Speak Slowly, don’t giggle, don’t say effing.
J: LOL!
G: or “fixin’ to”
G: you know I say that now because of you
J: you read Ree’s thing about the bus tour, didn’t you? I thought of you!
J: Me?
G: Yes! LOL. I loved that
G: Fixin’ to. yes
J: hmm…
G: you say, “I’m fixin to leave”
J: yeah, i guess i do say that a bit.
G: LOL
G: I used to hate ya’ll too. now I say it all the time.
G: Is [guy] [doctor's] husband?
J: yes
G: he’s doing the Fantasy Football too
G: Vince sent me an e-mail to print
G: [name, name, name]
J: who all, where all, how all??? i guess women have bunco, men have fantasy football.
G: I know. I guess
G: I’m gonna e-mail [wife] and see what they’ll be doing at this time!

J: so, any guess as to why my computer will not print these two specific pages I want printed? it will print anything else I send to it. just not these.
G: it hates you
G: it’s possesed by Lucifer?
J: could be.
G: what are they?
G: I mean web site? Word? PDF?
J: it’s my tape & CD labels. they are on a Word doc.
G:
J: i know.
G: you can e-mail it to me and I’ll see if I can print one
J: the thing is, it printed them earlier, then just stopped.
J: okay. i’ll do that.

J: okay. it won’t even print on my big machine. UGH.
G: okay, let me try
G: well, it prints no problem, but the [name] line is cut off
J: that is so weird.
G: it just needs the text box drug down a bit
J: i’m going to do some experimentations….
G: There’s a printer trouble shooter somewhere in Windows
G: just go to sTart> Printers & Faxes and it should be on there
J: okay. this is twice i’ve been messing with this same document and windows has had to close down.
G: it’s the devil then
J: yep
J: i am going to sound like the biggest baby in the world, but I don’t want my mom to go home!
G:  does she wipe you too?
G: 
G: sorry, I know.
G: are you not speaking to me now? I was joking.
G: *giggle*
G:  *bats eyes*
J: when did you send all that???
J: i was waiting for your smart response!
G: Uh
G: LOL
G: right after
G: and then you never replied
G: so ithought you were off pouting.
J: my tubes must have some smallish clogs.
G: Must
G: just a slow drain

J: i wish i had a chocolate doughnut with sprinkles.
G: K, I’m going to get the boys. BBL

G: OMG, [someone]……
G: she got tickets to a concert for her and her dh……
G: hold on to your panties……
G: KENNY FREAKIN G
J: AWESOME!!!!
G: No lie.
G: speaking of. Dog hates Boy1’s saxophone.
J: um, can you blame him?
J: *giggle*
G: LOL.

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J: hey, i have to run to [hicktown] to run some errands and crap. want something from sonic???
J: for lunch, of course.
G: hey, sure
G: I’m on my way to work. If you’re leaving soon, just call me, otherwise I’ll be back in a few.

[later]
J: my mom there yet? she was afraid she was going to run out of gas.
G: no
J: well, maybe she did run out of gas!
G: uh oh. where are you?
J: I’m SOOOO sorry it took so long.
J: work.
J: that darn cup! [J had to go be drug tested for a new potential job]
G: you didn’t pee on yourself did you?
J: no, but halfway through i started freaking out that it was actually going in the toilet and not in the cup.
G: *giggle*
J: so, is she there yet? i’m starting to worry.
G: yes
J: did she give you the message?
G: she wanted to go get me something else b/c it was cold
G: no
J: no, that was it. we were both worried it was going to be gross & cold!
G: oh okay
G: nah
G: I could feel it was still warm
J: okay, good. i wanted a coney really bad, but decided on chicken poppers.
G: I figured you’d get a corney dog
J: ah! i forgot!!!!
G: LOL
J: poop.
G: I had to do my mom a ringtone. All the ones pre-installed are “annoying”
G: OMG, the funniest thing happened earlier
G: I went to take Dog out
G: and this woman was sitting in her car in front of [other business]
G: music cranked up–I think it was Boston–and she was ROCKING OUT.
G: and she was every bit of late 40s, overweight, bad hair, glasses, not like a 80s rocker looking chick
G: It reminded me of Dwight in the Traveling Salesman episode of The Office
J: lol! where’s your hidden camera when you need it???
J: man, someone has taken the key to our armoir in here and I can’t get into the side with the stuff I actually need!
J: did my mom ask you about the milk?
G: I KNOW, I didn’t even have my phone to video.
G: No
J: i have like a whole gallon of milk that obviously I won’t be using. do you guys need/want it? it’s whole milk, btw…
G: um, I just bought a brand new gallon yesterday.
G: not to mention what we already had.
G: otherwise I would
G: what about [friend/neighbor]? Mine don’t drink whole milk anymore anyway.
J: good idea.
G: I could ask my mom She hates to see anything go to waste. LOL
J: i asked Bob to bring some on monday for potato soup and he brought a whole gallon.
J: well, yeah, and i’ve had it since Monday so it needs to get gone come to think of it!
G: or just leave it on your crazy neighbor’s doorstep
J: man, nothing tastes right. My diet DP tastes icky.
G: oh, there’s a black & white kitten behind the [businesses]. I saw it digging in the trash next to [business]
J: i could do that. that would freak him out. have i told you that when he leaves his house he always puts something in front of his door like his weedeater or he’ll pull his doormat up to where ti’s covering the bottom of his door.
G: I’m gonna go leave it my cold tots & fries
G: NO! LMAO
G: oh man, he’d be fun to mess with! why haven’t you told me this before?
J: and somehow he’s figured out how to do it like at night when he goes in. it’s the weirdest thing I have ever seen in my entire life!
J: LOL!!!
G: OMH, I’m trying not to rotfl b/c there’s people in here. that’s awesome.
G: wonder if HE believes in Sasquatch?
J: it’s so odd. i can’t believe i haven’t told you before. i think because it’s just now struck me as really strange for some reason.
J: yeah, like when he leaves, and i’ve watched him do it… he’ll shut the door and pull the mat up I guess so that if someone goes in he’ll know. But I should start yanking it down everytime I get a chance to
G: um, YEAH
G: among other things
G: since I”m already going to hell and all…..
J: lol!
J: and he has this nice BBQ out in front. i think i may ask him if i can use it since it’s technically sitting on some of my front porch as well.
G: you could in turn let him use your table thats’ been out there since the day you moved.
J: actually [landlord] threw that away for me!
J: One day she asked me about it and i just told her i didn’t have anything else to do with it and she said that she’d have bob throw it away for me! i was kinda embarassed…
J: my mom wants to know how your hotdog was
J: i think i’m going to send [bob] a free [business he works for] e-card.
G: sweet
G: and it was fine.
J: i sent you one insteac.
J: instead.
J: except for i put in yahoo.com instead of sbcglobal.net. oh, well. it was a nice thought anyway…
G: LOL
G: OH!
G: that funny ecard site…….
G: it had one that said, “I was thinking of you while I was browsing my cell phone on the toilet” or something like that I was ROTFL thinking of [J's brother]
J: lol!!! we should send that to him.
G: I know, let me find the site
G: SHOOT
G: I can’t find it.
G: I almost IM’d it to you when I saw it so you’d get it when you came back online
G: http://www.someecards.com/upload/courtesy_hello/i_think_of_you_every_time_i_browse_my_cell_phone_on_the_toilet.html

G: oh, I got my card. Did Bob design that?
J: okay, wow. i just thought you were being quiet! my thing didn’t light up saying you’ve been talking!
G: *rolls eyes*
G: I thought maybe you fell asleep.

J: so what exactly does “G-Unit” mean?
G: um, use it in a sentence. LOL
G: I mean G-Unit is the 50 (fiddy) cent rap group. g=gangsta or guerrilla
G: but it has gay connotations as well.
J: oh, i didn’t know about the gay connotations.
J: do you need to go get the boys
G: no
J: Yay! Fall!!!
G: I’m leaving them there
J: good for you.
G: LOL. No, my mom is getting them.
J: lol
G: but thanks for the reminder!
G: because it IS time to go this minute
J: yesterday one of the boys here had on a G-Unit shirt and, seeing as how i don’t really like him anyway, I wanted to make sure sure that i knew what i was talking about before i opened my mouth. we can’t have that devil music represented here you know
G: yeah, it’s not really church appropriate
G: Unless it was secretly a Christian shirt trying to be kewl and it meant God-Unit or something
J: yeah, not really. i’m such a nark (is that how you spell it?) but no one else around here knows enough about pop culture to bust anyone!
G: I’m sure his wasn’t the gay connotations, it was the rappers

G: do you see on the Yahoo home page the family of 7 that lives on $35K a year….you might need to watch the clip.
J: yes, i saw that and i watched it. it inspired me to clip some coupons.
G:
J: heck, if i could just magically get rid of my freakin’ credit card debt i’d be more than fine.
J: but, i’m not using it anymore and i’m paying what i can on it, so…
G: Chocolate Rain [G's ringtone]
G: Hello?
G: “Are you getting the boys?”
G: No, my mom is getting them.
G: “oh, I forgot about that.”
G: No, I never told you
G: see, he thought he was in trouble for not listening so he covered.
J: lol!
J: i saw him this morning at [convenience store]
J: schools out, schools out, teacher let the bulls out..
J: OHHH…..
J: we’re goin’ to texas
J: we’re goin’ to texas
J: we’re goin to texas here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: Yippee!!!!
J: did i tell you that? i couldn’t remember. everything’s been in limbo since i nearly died you know…
G: yes, I knew
G: well I did’nt know if you were STILL going since you missed so much work and all
G: I thought maybe you’d feel so guilty about that….you know.
J: yeah, but i’m not missing work work. just a sunday.
J: i’ve got to figure out how to be off on wednesday morning….
G: um
G: I’ll think of a good one
G: http://madtbone.tripod.com/work.htm
G: Jury duty!
J: 12. My car ran out of gas on the way to work. I was pushing it to a gas station and I got a stomach hernia and I have to go to the doctors.
G: #65 would work for you
G: you chipped another tooth?
G: oh there it is, #104
G: On my way to work today, my tooth cracked. I’ll be going to the dentist.
J: well we all know that really happened…
G: 123. I can’t come in today….I found a stray cat by my home this week-end and it has really bad diarrhea and I have to take it to the vets.
G: what about just a follow up to make sure your AIDS is gone?
G: or aunt flo is always good with the guys.
J: yeah, i’m thinking it’ll be an eye appt.
J: i sure wish i had adobe photoshop…. BOB!!!!
J: the big one that you can do stuff with.
J: yay!
J: [friend] and i were just talking about how we can’t wait to wear our boots again.
G: Okay, now I’m going. My dog has had enough. He’s all cranky.
J: ’cause he hasn’t seen J in like 2 weeks!
G: I know. He’ll try to bite you b/c he won’t know who you are.
J: well, hopefully tomorrow will be back to normal
G: k, TTYL

[later]
J: i wonder if Posh will say “knickers” when she guest stars on Ugly Betty?
G: Vince said “go away”
G: I was showing him I Can Has Cheeseburger
G: he’s internets deprived
J: he & my mom should talk
G: no kidding
J: why do i even try to have a conversation with my father????
J: so, if Vince were to go to Dallas, what route would he take?
J: i’m just trying to figure out the best way.
[Vince's Directions]
G: oh and speaking of Vince & not listening………
G: he said he saw you at [convenience store]
G: and said you and Bob TOOK your mom back.
G: “When? last night?”
G: I asked that to him.
J: lol!!!
J: well, and i told him that “We” were going to take her and he said, “who? Oh, Bob… I was thinking your brother”
J: he is my brother.
J: vince is, not bob.
J: could there possibly be a freakin’ lady bug in my house????
G: *shrug*
J: i can just hear something flipping around on my light.
G: are you missing Celebrity Rap Superstar?
J: um, yeah! what channel is that on?
G: MTV
G: I think she’s better than K Fed.
J: well that wouldn’t take too much, would it?
G: well no, I just meant–like the judge said, at least one of those kids’ parents can rap.
J: i turned it on just im time!
J: you didn’t tell me he was on this
G: arent’ you glad you didn’t miss that?
G: LOL
G: sorry, was I supposed to? LOL. He’s posted it before
G: OMG Paul Anka has a new Album…”Classic Songs, My Way”
G: and he’s had something to do with MB’s albums…not sure if it’s a producer thing or what
G: so you’d think it would be good.
J: you’d think. but it is Paul Anka…
G: he does Mr. Brightside
G: but Paul Anka did some classic stuff in his time
G: Heaven by Bryan Adams
G: Billy Joel–I go to Extremes
J: oh, yeah, absolutley he did
G: Time After Time
J: well i can’t wait to hear those!
G: one is “Bad Day” but I can’t tell if it is DP’s
G: yeah it is
G: it doesn’t even sound like it
G: It’s bad
J: where are you listening at?
G: Amazon, iTunes, anywhere. I heard some earlier.
J: yeah, i was on my way to iTunes
G: It’s almost like that Richard Cheese–which is a joke
J: okay, so i wasn’t thinking paul anka… i don’t know who i was thinking… maybe the “what’s new pussycat” guy.
G: Tom Jones?
J: yeah. they all run together in my head.
J: okay, i’m all for making a song your own, but who would ever even guess that Bad Day is even the same song?
G: I know.
J: ahh… there’s your boyfriend.
J: i heard him at Cato and I made mom listen to “I get to kiss you baby just because I can” before we left.
J: Grease 2!
G: where?
G: Grease 1 is on Nick at Nite
J: um, channel 50
J: sorry
J: you’re right. i just saw it out of the corner of my eye.
G: *rolls eyes*
J: O
J: M
J: G
J: my mom has never seen Grease.
G: *shocked face*
G: Okay, we know what she’s doing tomorrow
J: i seriously had NO idea
G: you have the DVD right
J: yeah. and VHS
J: you’re the one that I want
J: the one i need
J: oh yes indeed
J: you’re the one I wan
J: honey the one that i want
J: honey the one that i want
G: Boy1 was learning that for music class
J: the one i need
J: oh yes indeed
G: oh wait
G: no, it was the last one
G: I can’t remember
J: “I am not going to sit up and watch this movie”
G: I keep singing them all to him
J: “well, it’s the last scene so don’t worry about it. “
J: let’s hand jive!
J: did you know that HSM was maybe going to be Grease 3?
G: nope
J: that’s what IMDB says.
J: okay. i’m sleepy. i’ll talk to you tomorrow!
J: nite!
J: i’m goin’ to Texas
J: I’m goin’ to texas
G: good night
J: Yippee!
G: OH
G: Boy2’s new library book.
G: “Special Olympics”
J: i need to bring you that DVD.
J: oh, yeah?!
J: did he pick it out himself?
J: was Ronnie his inspiration?
G: oh yeah, he picked it himself
G: and he hasn’t watched Ronnie, just listened
J: well good for him. you should be proud!
J: and of course Uncle Bob will buy a school partners thing from him
G: okay, well I’ve got at least 2 left!
J: unless i slept through that whole fundraiser
J: okay, cool. i’ll talk to you tomorrow then.
G: goodnight

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J: did ya miss me?
G: you? do I know you?
G: are you back from the dead yet?
J: lol
J: OMG. G. I just thought strep was bad!
J: you’re gonna laugh at me, but dad brought mom up here to me.
G: I know, Vince saw her yesterday. You can’t die in [our town] without someone finding out.
J: lol. i know.
J: i’ll brb…
G: k
J: i have been having the most disturbing dreams and they are stupid stuff, like that myspace one the other night and then last night i was trying to do something else on my computer and it was literally giving me a headache during the dream.
G: maybe you have a brain tumor?
J: maybe
J: it would explain a lot.
G: actually not last night but the 2 nights before I was having weird/bad dreams allllll night. Like the same continuing dream. I woke up feeling horrible. Last night, nothing and I hopped right out of bed.
J: that’s weird. maybe you were having sympathy dreams for me?
G: SOMEONE was here trying to use my Wifi yesterday
G: and messing around with my computer
G: and now I can’t print
J: ugh oh.
G: Okay, well the printer is fixed
G: and also we figured out the WIFI
G: because the CODE he wrote in the book so horribly the C looked like an L and a 6 and all these other letters but it was supposed to be a C
J: lol!
J: okay, i’m going to go home and try to choke down some soup. i’ve lost 12 lbs!
J: do you want me to swing something by to ya?
G: no thanks
J: my eybrows are so bad i’m starting to look like i have bangs!
G: niiiiice
G: I’m goin’…I’ll TTYL
J: Soooo… [hicktown job] called me
G: AND???
J: wednesday at 8:30
G: woohoooo!
J: i know!
G: what happened to not qualified? or were you just the most qualified that applied?
J: who knows. my theory is that the people in [other town] really, really want me. they are bending over backwards for me to get a drug test taken over here tomorrow.
J: which, i will go for, but will hope that it can transfer to my [hicktown] file
J: and i was just praying this morning about the whole [other town] thing and this happened… so we’ll see!
J: honestly, i was kinda pursuing the [other town] thing thinking that i wouldn’t be called for the [hicktown] one, but now, who knows!

J: whatcha doin?
G: Watching Grease 2…..a coo-oo-ooo-ool rider
G: a coo-ooo-l rider. if he’s cool enough he can burn me through and through
G: whooaoohooohoh
J: research for your trip, huh? [to see a friend that has never seen Grease nor Grease 2]
J: my mom has never seen Hitch so I’m going to make her watch it.
G: but has she seen Grease 2?
J: lol! you do know i’ve never even seen Grease 2, right?
G: yes, I know
G: but you’ve at least heard most of it.
G: the parts of a flower are so constructed
J: yes, that is true.
G: that very very often the wind will cause pollination
G: reproduction
G: reproduction
G: put your pollen tube to work
G: reproduction
G: reproduction
G: make my stamen go berserk
G: OTOH, maybe that’s too much for your mom
J: lol! it may be a little too much for me
J: so, Bob thinks that now my body is cleansed of everything it would be a good time to start eating whole foods
G: I’m pretty sure he’s right
J: yeah, me, too, but how fun is that going to be??
G: yeah well, start slow
J: good lord. look at all the programs i’d be administrating [link]
G: *hypnotized emoticon*
J: luckily i’m “kinda” familiar with them all. i’ll have plenty of time to study, though!
G: Comma comma comma to the rock-a-hula-luau
G: Everybody’s here and we’re waitin’ for you now.
G: We’re gonna stick together and we won’t let go,
G: We’re lettin’ everybody know
G: Hoooooh!
G: It’s a luau! A rock-a-hula luau!
J: poor [friend of G’s who has never seen Grease] is not going to know what hit her!
G: I know
G: every time someone IMs me I get booted
G: we’re also going to flat iron her hair
G: it’s short so I tell her she’s going to look like Ryan Cabrerra
J: lol!
G: we’ll beee together
G: always togetherr
G: like birds of a feather
G: for ever and ever
G: I like what you got, I guess it’s okay if you wanna show it.
G: I am what I am, and I’m all for you, just want you to know it.
G: Will I ever score? There’s nothin’ wrong with just likin’ each other.
G: the only thing better is I’m singing it to Vince in my serious face.
J: lol! i bet he’s loving that.
G: yeah
G: he changed it and I kept singing
G: that’s the finale
J: oh, well you can’t not sing the finale.
G: exactly
G: Oh, I need that F21 receipt back sometime
G: I don’t know if I want to just mail it back or go back and possibly try some on there.
J: okay. i’ll try to remember to put it in my purse.
J: i wish i had a corney dog.
G: ooh.
G: getting in the shower, BRB

G: I think it’s 1000 degrees up here
J: oh, yeah?
G: at least
J: what is this chick’s name in Hitch?
J: Eva Mendes.
J: nevermind
G: yep
G:
J: the second i asked i remembered
G: sometimes that’s all it takes
G: so tonight’s repeat song?
G: I paid my dues
G: my curtain call
G: wait that’s not right
G: Vince keeps talking while I’m singing
J: lol!
J: tell ‘em to shut up
G: we are the champ-yun
G: s
G: we are the champ-yuns
G: no time for looooozers
G: cuz we are the champ-yuns
G: of the werrrrld
J: where are you hearing that?
G: the boys CD on repeat
J: awesome.
G: G: so tonight’s repeat song?
J: better than east bound & down
J: loaded up and truckin
J: we’re gonna do what they say can’t be done
G: I’ve taken my bows And my curtain calls.
G: You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it
G: I thank you alllllllll
G: sweet! Come February, I’m doin this! http://www.thefarm.org/charities/i4at/lib2/igloo.htm
J: awesome!
J: oh, i like this [F21 Link]
G: oh cute
G: I clicked and forgot to look
G: LOL
G: I heart Jon Stewart
G: Mike Huckabee gave a loaves & fishes metaphor. How he had nothing and got 18% of the vote.
G: Jonny said, “Don’t you think JESUS would’ve WON though?”
G: nobody thinks of the logical when spewing this stuff
J: lol!!!
J: okay, it’s past my bedtime.
G: k
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow.
G: good night

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J is dying or something. We’ve diagnosed her with many diseases including AIDS and vaginaitis, mono, menopause, pregnancy, elephantitis, bird flu, Mesothelioma, malaria, and clam-digger’s itch. I’m certain it’s one of those. Since she’s disappeared, I thought I’d share some things to keep you entertained.

Classic Cat Enema

Guess the Google Game

Tampon Crafts 

Free Prank Programs

The Wal-Mart Game 

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J: did you know that i sound better singing than talking????
G: yeah
G: LOL.
J: you’re the only person I can talk to right now ’cause I don’t really have to talk!!!
J: Oh, and the acrobats weren’t that bad. the show wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be.
J: so, i think my future MIL likes me…
G: Of course she doe!
G: does
G: Okay, why is the ONE picture I’m trying to upload not working????????
J: because it’s the ONE you want!!!!
G: @#$@#$
G: I DON”T UNDERSTAND
G: I had a brainstorm
J: lol!
G: yep, that’s it
G: I think.
G: one more thing……
G: @#$@#$@#$@#$
G: that wasn’t it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
J: ugh! sorry!
G: at this point it’s no big deal but WHY can I upload 1000 photos and NOT THIS ONE?????????
G: I’m just pissed & determined
J: which one is it?
G: just one of me
J: hmmm… that’s just weird.
G: then I named it me and it did the same thing. LOL. Oh well

J: so, today Bob & his brother & I drove up and met his family in [tacky town] and as soon as his mom got out of the car she made a bee line for me and was introducing me to everyone around!
J: i met like 4 of his cousins today as well…
G: oh boy
G: Boy2 just wandered downstairs
G: no big diea
G: deal
G: it’s an hour + after bedtime
G: I just feel like coming downstairs
G: “Is this a knot in my foot?”
G: Um, no it’s a vein
G: “it moves around”
G: Yeah, they do that
G: then he wandered over to the couch.
G: went in the kitchen and put 20 pieces of ice in a kitchen towel
J: lol!
J: so, it’s time for my random question of the day… when one takes a pain killer, how does it know which pain to kill?
G: it kills allll your pain
J: boy, isn’t that the truth!
G: we’re watching the Cubs game and they’re showing kids in the audience in their shirts & stuff
G: it reminded me today [kid] had on a pink Chicago Bears shirt
G: I was too cute. I wanted it.
G: Had Grossman on the back
J: speaking of pink shirts…
J: at wal mart in [town] the other day they had 3 [college] t-shirts for $18 and one was pink and I really wish i had gotten them.
G: I need a good shortsleeved shirt. I have longsleeved ones
G: [brother] is coming in Oct and wants to go to the [college football] game.
G: I think I’ll just stay in the car
J: well, having the knower or all t-shirts with me he said that those were probably pretty poor quality and wouldn’t last long but I told him that’s probably about as long as I’d want to wear them anyway
G: LOL
J: why would he want to subject himself to that?
G: I dunno
J: i wish i was from Pflugerville… I just like to say Pflugerville.

J: Oh, and they were playing your boyfriend’s CD on the boat. I told Bob “Listen!” and he said, “Who’s this? Michael Bubble?”
J: she should! i think that’s a really cute idea.
G: I hope you smack him
J: i did.
J: well, and they were playing Rod Smith as well and the first song I mentioned liking was “Someone To Watch Over Me” and then they played “The Way You Look Tonight” and I said that I liked that song, too. “Isn’t it the same one?”
J: *rolls eyes*
G: LOL
J: i think he would have been really sad if I hadn’t gotten to go today. i just heart him!
G: frick, all my IE just shut down
J: ugh oh
G: I’m gonna hop in the tub and shave my legs
J: k
J: okay, i’m gonna go on to sleep. i forgot tomorrow is sunday. everyday has been saturday for me this week! anywhoo… i will talk to you tomorrow!
J: niet!
J: nite!
G: okay, goodnight

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G: I’m HUNGRY
J: ME TOO!
J: Now, please don’t roll your eyes at me, but I had to go back to the doctor this morning. My tonsils are so swollen I cannot even swallow. I woke up at 2:00 this morning and my ear hurt so bad i just cried.
J: so, i went in and dr. [name] was like, “oh, wow. you are worse!” yeah, thanks! but she gave me a shot in my buttocks, another antibiotic and, get this, Vicodin for the pain!
G: ?
J: i know. I hate to even say anything to you about my being sick because I know you don’t feel good either and your life can’t stop just because you have a little sinus infection!
G: well, it’s okay
G: OMG, I was on the phone and my voice just gave out! LOL
G: then squeeked a little. I sounded like Peter Brady
J: LOL!
J: i am so hungry. but i just don’t think I can eat anything… Shawna suggested apple sauce or something. that kinda sounds good. i think i’ll run to harts and get some. What can i bring you to eat???
G: Um, you can just run through McDs
J: ok
G: I’m trying to decide between a salad or a hamburger
J: remember the salad made you sick?
G: no, but jsut the SW salad.
J: ah
G: I mean a bacon ranch salad
J: mmmm… that sounds sooo goood…
G: so should I be mean and eat that in front of you? Or have something gross?
J: lol! no, go for the salad. i won’t be able to stay too long anyway
G: okay, that’s what I want with the fried chicken & ranch
J: okay. [other boss] had to run to the PO and as soon as he gets back i’ll be on my way.
J: maybe i’ll have jello….
G: k
G: yeah, jello’s good
G: or pudding? or jello and then pudding?
G: get you some snack packs
J: yeah, maybe so!
J: i have some pudding ones at the house.
J: i put a counter thingie on my website and it’s counting backwards.
G: well now that’s dumb
J: that’s kinda what i thought.
G: it goes up for me…every time that I reload. Which doesn’t give you any type of accurate count. It shouldn’t do that either.
J: oh, wait. now it went up 4… down 1, up 4….
J: oh, yeah, i’ve lost 7 lbs. since i weighed at the dr. on monday!
G: LOL
J: on my way
G: What town is Bob from?

J: man, i’m sorry i missed you. i went to grab something to eat. he’s from [town]
G: okay, nevermind. we were making fun of this [state] thing earlier. I was going to show you. It was [another town] though
J: you guys going to [music]fest?
G: No. Are you on your pills?
J: no, not yet. i haven’t been able to eat anything. but i got some mashed potatoes.
G: well 1. it’s [music type] not [other music type]. And 2, I thought you’d be fun to come see if you were all looped up.
G: now I have to go outside and tell Dog to poop, BRB
J: lol! sorry….
J: well, i’m going to take a vicodin when i choke down these potatoes and i’m sure you’ll be able to tell when they hit me. I’ll either get really quiet all of a sudden or start really being random WOman!
G: we’re the meanest parents in the world BTW
J: why now?
G: oh the usual. Making them pick up their dirty clothes, the crap they took out, etc.
J: man, i didn’t really want to be sick for tomorrow! but I’m gonna be better!!! I think God’s tired of hearing me pray for myself
G: its thundering BTW. In case you hear something
J: yeah, i have my patio curtain open. i kinda like it!
G: it’s really nice out
J: yeah, when i was getting my food it made me wish i felt like sitting outside for a while.
J: until it starts raining…
J: how was your salad? it sounded so good.
G: it gave me a stomach ache too
G: I’ve eaten it at home in the last week or so too.
G: so I’m beginning to suspect someone.
J: don’t look at me…

G: we had the talk about dinner–again–about the boys not leaving school with anyone….
G: it’s a long, long, uneventful story how it got to that but it came up so we reiterated it
G: “except for grandma…….
G: and Ms. [friend]
G: oh, and Ms. [friend]
G: and J.”
G: but that’s all
J: yay! i’ll go kidnap them
G: well, but Mr. [friend’s husband] & Mr. [friend’s husband] are okay too.
G: “Well what about Bob?”
J: LOL! Serioulsy?!
G: yep!!!!!!! I mean out of the blue!
J: awww…. that’s awesome!
G: I know, see they’ve got you two paired up.
G: we told them NO! He’s a stranger!!! LOL
J: lol!
J: i want nick arojo to do my hair.
G: okay
G: not me
G: he always makes curly girls keep their hair curly. I’ll have none of that easy shit!
J: lol! well, and i was going to say the first thing he’d do would be chop off all my hair.
J: see, it’s so true that those with straight hair want curly hair & vice versa. I get up early every sunday morning so i can have pretty, curly hair. and you get up early every day so you can have pretty, straight hair like me!
G: no one’s ever happy
G: I know, you know how straight [friend]’s hair is
G: and if we’re at the lake and my hair starts to get all curly she starts cussing me meanly! LOL
J: OMG. I LOVE VICODIN!!!! For the first time in two days my ear isn’t hurting!!!!
G: *hypnotized emoticon*
J: and you better believe that i’m hanging on to the extras!!!
J: not yet.
J: but i can feel it coming on!
G: I was cleaning out the medicine cabinet a couple weeks ago
G: I have such a stash of painkillers it isn’t even funny
G: and I hate using them–hence me having so many, “Just in case”
G: back to when I had Boy1
G: had Boy2
G: oh wait, broke my ribs when I was pregnant with Boy2
G: then had Boy2
G: had my wisdom teeth out
G: Vince’s vasectomy
G: Boy1’s torticollis
G: you name it
J: well, i shoulda just come and raided your medicine cabinet!
G: now you know
G: I’m stocked up
J: for my vicodin, antibiotic and a bottle of water it was only 10.11… I’m sure glad I have insurance!
J: oh, and i took your advice and talked to dr. [name] about getting on the pill and she said i could call her and she’d just write me a prescription. and she also mentioned that it would help with my depression issues as well, so now we know!
G: see
G: I should get a medical degree online
J: yes, i know. if i’d only listen to you
G: I missed my calling
J: oh, and my preacher ex-boyfriend from highschool found me on myspace!
G: oh yeah?
J: yep.
J: get ready for a good laugh… [dorky guy’s myspace]
J: Now, wtf would he put “no answer” on orientation???
J: wasn’t it you who told me that he’s gay? or was that [friend]?
G: LOL…not me…yet
J: he can’t cut the apron strings and his mom has been dead for like 5 years or so.
G: 2003
G: and they started that church in a crappy metal shed as her tribute.
J: lol
G: I hope I get a better tribute that THAT
G: ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I’M NOT BEATING THEM RIGHT NOW
G: BECAUSE THEY WON’T GO TO SLEEP
J: lol! i’ll see what i can do about that!
G: Okay, I just burned a CD and I don’t know where the files went?
J: okay, it’s because of people like you that the tubes get clogged all the time!
G: how’d I clog the tubes now?
J: didn’t that guy say something about everything having to go somewhere?
G: yes…did my music leave my laptop?
J: it could have
J: ugh. okay. something is not sitting well on my stomach.
G: ?
J: yeah, i’m gonna try to be really still for a minute. it worked this afternoon…
G: k
G: OMG, your MIL is making fried pound cake
J: ugh. don’t talk about food!!!!!!!!!!!
J: okay, you may not want to know this but i just puked and at least my tummy feels better.
G: well, you got that part going for ya
J: lol!
J: you know, the last time bob & i were going to go out of town i got sick the weekend before…
J: mmmm… Gerard Butler
G: eh
J: if you’re talking to [friend] let her know that Grease is on TV Land
G: Dang! I’m not
G: if it were a little earlier I’d call.
G: I posted to the board. She usually checks in once before bed.
J: if she was smart she would watch it before you guys reinact it for her!
G: I know. exactly
G: Vince’s got it on the Doors. While I’ve never been stoned, this movie makes you think you are.
J: i’ve passed over that one a couple of times the past 5 minutes!
G: we saw it in the theater. back in the day. it was trippy
J: i wish they’d stop showing these Halloween commercials! it freaks me out everytime!
G: *giggle*
G: I saw a *really* scary video the other day. I almost crapped…….. me. I want you to know I resisted sending it to you with every ounce of my being.
J: lol! well, i appreciate it!
J: what was it about?
J: NOT in great detail…
G: ghost
G: I seriously jumped out of my chair
G: I forgot when we saw this movie we saw it at the midnight showing in [town]
G: I let [friend] drive my car and he hit this huge raccoon
G: if I was 17 I wasn’t much over. I can’t believe my parents let me go to a midnight move in Fayetteville.
J: lol!
J: Oh, that How’s Your News video… it’s good, however, it wasn’t as good as I was hoping. maybe i need to watch it again when i feel better… but it shows Ronnie saying is bedtime prayer and he prayed for David Hasslehoff!
G:
G: I heart Ronnie
J: and, of course, chad everitt.
G: if anyone needs it, it’s David Hasslehoff
G: well sure
G: Look at this dog: http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=112045717 It literally looks 1/2 border collie and 1/2 something else
J: LOL! you’re right!
J: oh, man! My elec bill came out of my account and I don’t think i got an email about it even!
J: oh, well. It was only $66.96
G: :-p
J: lol! sorry!!!
J: okay. i just fell asleep sitting up on my couch. i think i’m going to give into the wonder that is called Vicodin and go to bed.
G: LOL
G: have fun
J: yeah, i’ll try to remember any crazy dreams i may have.
J: or, maybe they’ll be normal… who knows!
G: for once
G: good night
J: okay. nite!

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G: HOLY HELL it is HOT OUT
J: oh, yeah?! i was freezing in my livingroom
J: i love my schtiker!
J: how was bluesfest?
G: awesome. There was a special GUEST!
J: oh, yeah????
G: eah
G: VERY special
G: ELVIS
J: No way!!!
J: did you take a pic????
G: NO.
G: C did
G: I just had my phone that SUCKS
J: oh, man!
G: Does Bob’s Fantasy Football make their own cute team names?
J: they make their own names but i don’t know how cute they are!
J: and i was thinking, “who the heck is bob?”
G:
G: http://www.radfordellis.com/
J: um, did he look more like elvis is person?
J: maybe it’s just the street clothes…
G: Um, not really
G: I dunno
J: oh, and too bad these schitker things weren’t our idea. bob is going to tell his boss about them and see if they want to start making them.
G: Dang.
J: i know
G: maybe he can tell him it was our idea
G: and then we can all go retire.
J: lol! we should at least get a finders fee or something!
G: no shit
J: i need to get serious with my weight watchers!!! http://images.teamsugar.com/files/users/0/88/34_2007/jennymc.jpg
G: dang! me too
G: I need to set that as my wallpaper.
J: no doubt! i be the fine print would say “results not typical”
G: I was just going to eat a cold piece of pizza. Maybe I’ll have some water.
J: LOL!!
G: I SURE am hungry though
J: my sweet boyfriend brought me my taco bell  i have a couple of burritos left over…
G:
J: okay. who could have played Ariel on broadway better than me????
G: umj
G: uh.
G:
J: NO ONE!!!
J: look at this stuff
J: isn’t it neat?
J: wouldn’t you think my collections complete?
J: need I go on????
G: no, you really don’t
J: lol
J: so, if i’m online at 6 on sunday night tell me to get my arse to  judge that stupid Colegate thing!
G: okay
J: man, my feet are cold!
J: i needs me some socks!
G: good grief
G: you’re hot
G: you’re cold
G: make up your mind
J: lol! i know! believe me, i wish i would just be one or the other. i’m so tired of this. Seriously.
G: we’re still after C about Grease–let alone Grease 2. K and I are going to make her weekend a living hell singing every song from those movies.
G: anyway, look: http://imagecache2.allposters.com/images/pic/MMPH/171051~Adrian-Zmed-Posters.jpg
J: that’ll be fun! and you’ll be great at that!
J: um, that’s nice…
G: LOL. Maybe we can get that for the bathroom?
J: um, i think that would scare me more than anything.
J: is there another boat in [hicktown] besides the XXX?
G: not that I’m aware of, why?
J: well, bob must be confused. he said we’re going at 3 and there’s only a 4 one.
G:
G: surely a MAN isn’t WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: lol! surely not MY man… hahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!
J: oh, dear God. this will be our entertainment – link to advertisement

G:
J: i hope we sit at the back
G: I wish there was a REAL smiley of the face I’m making
J: oh, i can just imagine
J: it’s probably the same one i’m making.
J: you know, bob told me that if i didn’t feel good i didn’t have to go….
G: well
G: in that case
J: yeah… hmmm…
J: oh, so tomorrow for lunch…
J: K is coming down around 11:30 or so, so I’m going to go at 11:00 so good news is we’ll get lunch early. bad news is, you won’t get to hang with me for a full hour!
G: ok
J: OH OKAY. That Don Gay is NOT my Don GAy…
G: and your Don Gay is????
J: hang on… he’s kinda hard to find…
G: okay speaking of dreams
G: hang on
G: at 3am I woke up
G: and COPS was on. I’d fallen asleep watching Scrubs
G: and they were arresting this Mexican man
G: at a trailer park–strange but true!
J: lol!
G: and he just kept saying…while they’re cuffing him & stuff. “Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que? Que?”
G: and I couldn’t find the effing remote to make him SHUT THE HELL UP
J: okay…
J: okay. i swear there is not one picture of don gay on the entire internet.
G: I guess he was arrested for shooting a gun in the air? I’m not sure. I finally got out of bed and turned it off because he wouldn’t shut up
G: that’s because you made him up
G: So I went ahead and had pizza……….because I am starving and it IS thin crust
G: and guess who’s on my TV now talking about Weight Watchers?
J: no, i have proof of him… he’s about 5 feet nothing and has this little voice. he annoucnes at the mesquite rodeos.
J: lol!
G: I think she made an oinking sound
J: probably. she does that all the time.
J: and i love her hair.
G: it is cute. Mine would never do that in a million years
G: I remember when I went to xxx–when he was a secretly gay hairdresser, before he was a secretly gay coffee shop owner–and brought him a picture of a girl with a Bob from my Barbie Magazine and he NEVER SAID, “Um you hair isn’t gonna look like that.”
J: LOL
G: at least now I have my Chi but it still would never stay like that, that short
J: yeah, bob would have a cardial infarction
J: okay. get ready to make fun of me….
G:  moi?
J: i took some sleepy pills and they have kicked in!
J: i can’t keep my eyes open anymore.
G: sheesh.
J: i know.
G: That’s why I don’t take mine until it’s close til bedtime!
J: lol. well, i was actually in bed by 8…
J: i sure do heart my boyfriend, though. he was so sweet tonight.
J: well, he’s sweet most of the time, but especially tonight.
J: okay. i’m drifting… i’ll talk to you in the morning. Nite!
G: good night

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J: i’m not going to be here long today. i’m not a strong person like all you mothers. I feel like CRAP and I wanna go home!!!
G:
J: are you sad ’cause i’m a wimp or ’cause I feel like crap????
G: LOL…
J: i wish i had some chicken noodle soup!
J: shawna told me since i’ve been having night sweats i should probably be checked for AIDS. She’s such a good friend
G: I may have like Jimmy Neutron noodle-os or something
G: yeah, good idea
J: they asked me yesterday if i was pregnant or if there was any chance i could be preganant. Um, no.
G: do you have a thick, whitish coating of the tongue or mouth
J: no, but dr. said there was one white spot on my tonsil
J: does it say anything about having no energy and wanting to curl up in a ball on the bathroom floor and go back to sleep????
G: #1
G: What are the later symptoms of HIV/AIDS? Lack of energy
J: ugh oh…
G: I think [friend] is on to something
J: lol! thanks!
J: surely that would have shown up in my blood work last time, but who knows?
G: Some people develop flu-like symptoms a few days to a few weeks after being infected, but these symptoms usually go away after several days.
G: Maybe you just got it?
J: yeah, possibly… guess i should tell bob…
G: Don Gay was talking about the Wiggles. Now I’m gonna have those songs in my head all day.
J: hey, don gay was my dad in a dream. surely it’s not the same don gay…
G: um, yes, Don Gay from KKITM.
J: oh. i didn’t know he was on there.
G: you thought you just made up Don Gay??
J: NOOOO… i thought maybe there was another Don Gay…
G:
J: okay. [boss] is here. i’m going home.

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J: so, did you get the boys off?
G: YEP!
J: did you cry????
G: nope, but I did a little song & dance.
J: LOL!
J: so, i’m going to the doctor at 3:45. I hope that there’s something wrong with me ’cause I’m about tired of this having fever at night. I woke up at 2:02 and I was pouring with sweat but I was freezing. And now I’m burning up hot but my skin is all clamy.
G: it’s just cooties. take some allergy meds & get over it.
J: i did. i’ve been taking them.

J: [friend] is such a good friend “are you sick? you don’t look good…” lol!
J: thanks!
J: and i thought i was looking pretty cute this morning!
G: LOL, nice.
G: I would’ve said no…make her feel bad.

G: Kenny Chesney is trying to play NFL football??? I could tackle him.
J: what??
G: yes, Kenny Chesney is practicing with the New Orleans Saints
J: okay…
G: Link to Story
G: Kidd is talking about it
G: Link to another story
J: so, let me count the things on my desk that do not belong to me….
G: I’m gonna make you a SHIT BOX to put next to your desk to put everyone else’s shit in.
G: “Where’s my XXX?” “Check the SHIT BOX!”
J: hey, that’ll be fun for all around here! especially me!
J: what’s for lunch? i’m kinda hungry.
G: Um……hhmmmm
G: well, as soon as you hear about that job I’m making you a SHIT BOX and a DON’T TAKE MY FUCKING PENS sign.
G: we need to think of something different for lunch.
J: LOL!!!
J: I have a special little thing in front of my computer that i’m hoping no one sees
G: *giggle*
J: I forgot to tell you that [bitch G doesn’t like] was in here yesterday asking about me & Bob and said that we should double date!!! I told Bob and he was like “Ugh, I don’t know how i feel about that…”
G: Ugh, yeah….I wouldn’t advise it.
G: So [G’s ILs] are trying to get [newly widowed grandfather] out to do things……..
G: The #1 thing he wants to do is go see Boy1 & Boy2.
G: so they’re coming down this afternoon
J: awww how sweet! that’s awesome!
G: I know.
J: i think i may cry.
G: I know. LOL
J: why am i so friggin emotional????
J: i think i am going through early menopause
G: And he told [FIL] how after the funeral none of the other grandkids or great-grandkids said anything but Boy1 & Boy2 ran over and hugged him.
G: my little brats can be so sweet.
J: because your kids are not spoiled rich brats!
J: not that you’re not rich…
G: not in comparason to them, NO.
G: LOL, oh hell no.
G: Vince’s still all about that
G: I e-mailed him a report of the money we’ve spent this year……
G: um $500 on liquor store! $4000 cash out of the ATM…I don’t recall ever getting cash…oh wait, maybe once?
G: $129 on clothes!!!!!!!!
G: LOL…I guess b/c it’s all on credit cards.
J: Um, I know you’ve spent more than that on on F21 order!!!
G: well I guess the checks I’ve written you go into the “dining” category
J: LOL!!!
G: and I’ve put mine on my business mastercard a few times too.
G: Ghost photo to scare J
G: I AM hungry now.
J: me, too. do you think you’ll be busy today? you know it’s bogo?
G: We went Wednesday night to get the boys dress shoes and there was NOTHING I wanted. Plus I have UPS that HAS to go out.
G: I’m going, BRB

J: i am starting to get really hungry!
G: I stole a bag of Cheezits from Boy1’s snack box.
G: They eat lunch at 10:30
G: Um
G: I just heard something
J: i think that’s just crazy to have lunch so early!
G: that sounded like something waking across my floor
G: and the dog is in the back
J: LOL!!! sorry.
G: anyway, so the teacher is letting them have a snack around 2:30
J: it could be an out of body!
G: yeah, or a rat
G: I’d prefer an out of body
J: ugh. i’d much rather it be an out of body!
J: lol
G: maybe it was them next door making a noise or something and it just sounded like that.
J: well that’s nice of the teacher and probably a really good idea
G: I’m too scared to get up
G: I told her Boy1 would be gnawing his arm off by 2
J: lol
G: he’s excited about early lunch. Frankly I would be too. He’s like me and not into eating breakfast much
J: well, that is a good point. now that i think about it, maybe i’d like lunch at 10:30!
J: oh, wow. my stomach is hurting i’m so hungry.
G: wow!
G: K, lets make some sort of decision. I need to get up and move around and do things.
J: OMG. someone just called and asked if someone here would come and move her things from [town 1 hour away] to here!
J: and earlier someone called and asked if i’d pay their rent.
J: okay, so lunch… does anything sound good?
G: not really
J: um, we could do [BBQ]’s or [Italian]’s…
J: or, we could be good and do subway
G: I’d eat a meatball sandwich. from either but [Italian] does sound good!
J: yeah, that’s what i was thought after I suggested [Italian] Okay, so a meatball sub and salad?
G: yeah, perfect
J: do we want our own sub or do you think we could share one?
J: i can’t remember how big they are
G: yeah, share
J: okay. i’ll call em!
J: yummy! i can’t wait!
J: okay. i PROMISE i’m not going to keep saying this, but OMG. There is NO FREAKING TEACHER IN THIS WHOLE SCHOOL WHO CAN DO THEIR OWN FREAKING COPYING.
G: well maybe you need to teach them how to use it
G: Obviously you need to work more on the “look busy”
J: okay. how long did that take me? less than 1 minute
J: Oh, you should see my desk. I have stuff all over it that i’m working on. they don’t care.
J: and see, the thing is, they are supposed to take everything to Tim and then he’s supposed to make sure that i have time to do it. yeah, right. i think that has happened once.
G: well then you need to say, it’ll be a couple hours. I have something I can’t put down and then I go to lunch.
J: oh, and i found out that i am indeed not in the running for the job in [hicktown].
G: WHAT?
J: yeah, the lady from [town] called me to just find out if i was still interested and stuff and she said that she talked to her supervisor who does the hiring for the [hicktown] office and that is a county wide position and unfortunately i don’t have the qualifications. she said that they posted it wrong.
G: well that just sucks
J: yeah, you’re telling me. i want to cry, but i can’t show emotion around here, you know
G: ?
J: ?
J: UGH! I am sweating but i’m not hot!
J: maybe i’m going to spontaneously combust!
G: Yep, you’re sweating it out as you told me.
J: isn’t that what it’s called when you catch on fire.
J: okay, [boss & boss] are locked in his office… i’m gonna see if i can go to lunch…
J: okay, i’m on my way!

J: did you watch HS Musical 2?
G: Uh, no.
J: yeah, me neither
J: ugh. i think i ate too much. my tummy hurts now.
J: how many times does that Pete Doherty guy have to be arrested before they just lock him up and throw away the key????
G: it’s beyond me why he gets any attention
J: i think this is pretty cute [F21 Link]
G: yeah, that’s really cute
J: i think i’m gonna name my daughter Ida Bell
G: *raises eyebrow*
J: LOL
J: tell me how cute this baby is! [shows picture]
G: sorry, I took my puppy out
J: that’s okay. he’s way more important!
J: isn’t she so pretty?
G: um, sure.
J: okay, so want me to be really tacky?
J: do you know [name]?
G: always
G: I don’t think so
J: check this one out…
J: tell me how not pretty that girl is…
G: that’s a sweet baby.
G: but yes
J: he was born on July 22, 2007, weighed 7 lbs and was 20 1/4 inches long.
J: as a parent, did you always make sure everyone knew how long your baby was when it was born? i’m just curious
G: not that I recall
J: yeah, i just started thinking about that while i was typing stuff about these babies. just silly stuff that i think about.
G: Deepthoughts iwth Jen…….
J: yep.
G: you’re gonna have to remind me when it gets close to 3 that I need to pick up my children.
J: LOL! okay i’ll try
G: I need 3 [name] shoppers every day.
G: how’d your bible purse go over at church BTW?
J: everyone tells me how cute it is and I tell them where to go to get their own!
J: did [name] come in?
G: yeah
J: she’s so sweet!
G: I know
G: she was buying something for [name] and I told her to get her a lotion bar too
G: so she did
G: and then she bought one of those little purses–she’s not sure what for! LOL…the one that’s a big flower
G: and a candle and a notepad
J: LOl!
J: oh, man all the preschoolers are napping… i wanna go join them!
G: nicce
J: i wish Bob was from austrailia so he’d have that accent.
J: i’m just all kinds for random today.
J: [UPS] is here.
G: It’s RANDOM woMAN
G: he said he had something for you but he just missed you
J: LOL! just call me Big Jenny Mac
G: http://www.wikihow.com/Leash-Train-a-Cat
G: LOL
G: http://www.ziff.net/404/404.htm
G: Okay I’m climbing up to try to fix that light. If I’m not back in 2 minutes, call 911
J: LOL on that webpage!
J: okay, i’m timing you…
G: K I did it
J: yay!
G: I was able to stand on the counter and move it over. I actually found the screw on the floor
G: it was screwed into that ceiling tile with one little screw
J: well i’m glad you made it safely.
J: i woulda felt funny calling 911… “Um, yeah, i’m not sure but my friend was on the counter and she hasn’t IMed me in like 15 minutes… I’m afraid she’s broken her neck…”
G: LOL.
G: I guess you could’ve called [next door business] to check on me…save you the embarrassment.
J: nah, i woulda called the [other next door business G doesn’t like] people.
G: :-p
J: so has your brother decided which candidate he’s going to support yet?
G: I’d bet Obama but I haven’t asked.
J: i told my mom that’s who i was voting for just to get her all up in arms being the rush limbagh, O’Reiley Factor woman she is
G: LOL
J: okay. it’s 2:50…
G: Thanks. I just checked.
G: K, I’m going
J: i was just fixing to say you need to go!
G: I’m printing something really fast
J: have fun with grandpa!
G: K, ttyl

G: man it is HOT out
J: yeah, at lunch it was really muggy.
J: hey, we got a new computer for upstairs and there’s a bible program that pastor uses all the time on it and we don’t have the disc, and what disc he has is an old school floppy one… do you know how to transfer programs?
G: Um……can you do a back up? lemme look
G: under system tools
J: i’m going to get it all hooked up tomorrow so i’ll look at it then.
J: but hopefully that will work!
J: okay, i’ll be back in a few…
G: k
J: i’m thinking about this for the wedding
G: I think that dress would be PERFECT
J: lol!
J: want me to get you one while i’m at it?
G: um no, I wouldn’t want to steal your thunder on that one
J: lol!
J: so, how was grandpa?
G: good
G: tired, ready to get home
G: and then [MIL] had told Vince they wanted to go to dinner so we didn’t have anything planned
G: well instead they took [name & name] to eat earlier
J: ugh!
G: so they weren’t hungry
G: and I had nothing planned
G: and Vince wanted to go home
G: we we had McDs. Ugh.
J: so i’m guessing [name] had her baby?
G: oh yeah, Friday
J: i got an invite to my friend [name]’s baby shower and I’m sad I can’t go!
J: if I’m fixing to have another period I’m gonna be pissed!
G: so what’s wrong with you anyway?
J: well, she gave me antibiotics for my sinus infection but she thinks that there could be something with my hormones. She said to keep track of my symptoms and stuff and if my period is irregular again to for sure call her.
J: but hopefully it’s just the sinus infection.
J: but, again, tonight I’m on the couch, no a/c on wrapped up in a blanket!
J: looks like you’re getting Stranger Than Fiction & The Sword & The Stone from Netflix!
G: why yes I am
J: is The Hills new tonight?
G: yes
G: Vince started watching a movie like 20 minutes ago
G: I told him he’s outta luck @ 9
G: I had it on Friends so there was nothing to be attached to but then I had to lock up and get laundry
J: i’ve started watching a movie on lifetime so I guess I’ll just have to record the rest of it!
J: mmm…. i want a toaster strudel!
G: mmmmm
J: so how was the first day of school?
G: great.
G: everyone’s happy
G: Boy1 LOVES middle school
J: that’s good. i knew you said at one time he was a little nervous.
G: LOL. I found the best ecards site
G: but I want to send you one……but I just can’t decide
J: lol!
J: i can’t wait!
G: there’s 3 on the “Get Well” section
J: lol!
J: did you send me 2?
J: wait… there it goes
J: :-p
J: those are cute
G: yes, 3
J: should we start saying “OMG”?
G: Boy1 says it
G: I’m not even sure where he gets it
G: Whitney said it last week I think. Or one of those WTF maybe?
J: he IS a 13 year old girl!
G: Vince’s watching this
J: oh, his commentary will be great
G: I’m waiting
G: now he’s moved into bed and closed his eyes. I guess he’s lost interest.
J: did he just say 1980’s vintage???? man, we’re old…
G: LOL, we are
G: NIIICE
G: he’s hawt
J: oh, yeah.
J: i would dump Bob for him ANYDAY!!!
G: I think the bottom line is Lauren needs new friends who don’t pick loser boyfriends
J: yep. looks like it.
J: i’m thinking about sending this one to Bob Funny E Card
G: LOL
G: I was gonna suggest this one: Funny ECard
G: Funny ECard
G: OOOOOOOO
G: MMMMMMMM
G: GGGGGGGGG
G: I just found a long chin hair!
J: LOL! the card…
J: OOOOOOOO
J: MMMMMMMMMM
J: GGGGGGGG
J: on the chin hair…
J: LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: still LOL!!!!!!!
G: I can’t decide if I want to yank it out of my head or save it for you to do tomorrow.
J: ugh, i’d vote for yanking it out… or you could be like Rosie and put beads on it. Remember that from her show?
G: yes, it’s just like that one too…in the same spot
J: would it ve visible in a pic? it would be great for the site…
G: LOL, it’s gone
J: mmm… fruity pebbles
G: I was just thinking I was hungry. I don’t think I want that though
J: LOL! did you see that commercial with Roger Clemens?
J: oh, so earlier Bob & i were talking and I was saying something about how I knew that if something were to happen to me in the middle of the night that I knew that I could call you and you’d come right over (I hope ) and he was like, “Ugh! You can call me!” well, i was like, “yeah, I know…” but I was thinking, “You wouldn’t answer the phone idiot!”
G: No, I was downstairs
G: Duh. No kidding
G: OMG, Spencer is a JERK
J: yeah, he pretty much is!
G: Okay, I can’t do the after show
J: no, me neither. i’m watching my lifetime movie.
G: we already worked all that out anyway
J: who is this Katie Price aka Jordan chick?
G: I dunno….I think someone famous in the UK like stupid Pete Doherty
G: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jordan_(model)
J: ah. that explains it all. she’s famous for having geinormous boobies.
G: I know…..LOL,…kinda Paris Hilton
G: makes you wonder WTF DID she actually do
J: well, now a days it’s like that with everyone in Hollywood…
J: i have the loudest ice maker in the world.
G: I thought you typed Rice maker.
G: I need to go to sleep.
J: lol!
J: crap. my throat is starting to hurt.
G: yep, that happens
G: I”m on day 4
J: yep.
G: I still need to get some more of that Throat Coat tea
J: okay, i’m going to sleep.
J: nite!

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J: i think my washing machine is broken. my clothes still have soap on them.
G: I’m baaaack
J: where’d you go???
G: away
G:
J: lol!
J: so, i think Bob & I may go to St. Louis for my little vacay.
G: okey doke
J: so are the boys in bed yet? tomorrow’s the big day
G: not yet. They needed a shower so I sent them outside
G: Dog is digging in my mom’s armpits too.
J: lol! well, i’m glad i’m not the only one!
G: I bet you could squeeze a gallon of slobber out of his tennis ball
J: gross
G: are you watching Bridezillas?
J: argh! i forgot!
G: looks like a good one is coming up
J: i’m there now.
G: I’m gonna buy you this: http://www.katize.com/2007/08/11/sleep-tight-with-the-safe-bedside-table/
G: http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2007/08/128292638767933750ihaetusohard.jpg
J: this girl is psycho!
G: I changed it……Boy2 didn’t wanna watch it
J: LOL at that pic!
G: I’m uploading my ghost pics
J: sweet! i can’t wait to see them
J: so now we’re going to Texas
G: alrighty
J: staying with my brother. for free.
G: LOL!!!!!!!1
G: w’ere watching baseball…….
G: Albert Pujols plays for the Cards. pronounced Poo-houlse
G: but Vince told them his name was Poo-hole
G: and I guess they just thought he was joking but now the guys on TV are calling him Poo-holes.
G: Boy1: “Is that REALLY his name???????? Why did his parents NAME HIM THAT???”
J: LOL!!!
J: u still there?
G: I am now. bedtime
G: are you still on Bridezillas?
J: yeah, i see the 2 and yeah i’m still on bridezillas
J: i’ll brb… i’m gonna grab something to eat.
G: I’m gonna hop in the showe
G: Ooh!!! That new show coming up looks GOOD. American Princess!
J: man, i wonder what is freakin’ wrong with me??? i’ve got fever again!
G:
J: i may have tuberculosis
G: rut roh
J: or, i could just be going through menopause
G: cool
J: i did have an irregular period this month and have mood swings…
J: who does this girl think she is????
G: a bridezilla apparently
G: you should’ve heard that other girl
G: how she’s so great and she’s a princess and all this crap
J: well that thing on her head sure looks retarded.
G: yes
G: and her dress as well
J: OMG.
G: are they wearing t-shirts
J: yep
G: and are there any women in it?
J: nope
G: I can’ t imagine how any of these women have any friends but they usually do
J: okay, that was kinda funny.
J: wonder how much collagin was in that room?
G: I know
J: um, was she not late to her own wedding???
G: LOL, Um didn’t SHE show up …LOL
G: GMTA
J: yep
J: oh, my…
J: did she say that her favorite things in life are dildos & women?
G: um yeah…and cheeseburgers.
G: oh
G:
G: this is a train wreck
J: yeah.
J: okay. i have my air OFF and i am shivering.
G: you have to go to KKITM
G: get up at 6am and go sit outside
J: i want to, but they’ll be off on labor day.
G: I’m not laughing at the girl with the orange lifejacket on
J: [J sticks her tongue out]
J: wonder if i have a panic disorder… it says that i’d also have my weird pins & needles feelings.
J: i don’t think i like that clarissa girl.
G: I was drying my hair
G: who was Clarissa?
J: the girl who did pagents
G: oh yeah,
J: okay. i don’t like her at all.
J: the blonde bawler
G: LOL
J: did i ever tell you about my friend from high school who has been dating her boyfriend since high school?
G: yes
J: they are finally getting married. i got the invite in the mail the other day.
J: i ain’t dating someone for 15 years I tell you that right now!
J: are you still watching WE?
G: no, seinfeld
J: i think it would be fun to be a wedding coordinator. wonder if there’s any place in town who could use my services?
G: yeah that crossed my mind for about 30 seconds until I watched bridezillas
J: lol! that’s true…
J: okay. seriously i think it is the rudest thing in the world to be late for your own wedding! that’s so rude to not respect your guests any more than that!
J: okay. i’m going to go to bed. i’ll talk to you tomorrow!
J: nite!

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