Not Quite Fascinating

J: we need to go see this
G: is this Sasquatch?
J: i think so
G: Yay! yes
J: it opens tomorrow
G: I read about it in the Entertainment Weekly
J: did you have a snow day?
G: it was saying Sasquatch is popular lately.
G: oh yeah, we got lots more than you did
J: ours melted as soon as it hit the ground.
J: there’s some on the grass and stuff, but the roads are completely clear.
G: that’s what [friend's] friend [Name] said
G: [Friend] sent her pics from her Camera Phone & she couldn’t believe how much we had
G: compared–and being so close
J: boy, Bob is really putting it on thick.
G: LOL
J: he NEVER says i love you before hanging up. now he is.
G: of course.
J: i think he stayed on the phone for like 30 minutes.
J: HE carried the conversation. i refused.
J: your show starts tonight!
G: how funny
G: I KNOW
J: I am SO tired of people asking me if i got engaged.
G: OMG, on Ellen they’re copying from this  it’s hysterical and retarded at the same time

G: I ordered a dress for this wedding Saturday…….
G: which shockingly **someone** went along with me spending more than I normally would on anything.
G: anywho
G: of course they took days to ship
G: and finally like Monday I called Nordstrom and said, “if this hasn’t left yet (my order status showed that) can I get it like 3rd day or 2nd day or whatever so I can have it by Friday.”
G: She tells me it has left the warehouse so I should have it. I asked her where it was shipping from and she said Iowa
G: so that can’t be bad, I mean if it were far east or west coast that could take a week
G: well I’m tracking it and it’s ssssssslllllllllllowly moving
G: I mean all it had to go was from there to [city]|
G: so it’s been in [nearby city] like 24 hours now
G: and I swear if they don’t deliver it tomorrow……I will kill someone
G: it says scheduled for delivery
G: oh, and it’s DHL
G: did I say that?
G: anyway, FedEx wouldn’t come over today. and post office didn’t come either. But seriously, if DHL doesn’t bring me that tomorrow I will spit.
G: and I know I can take that scrawny little DHL guy and his big fake diamond stud earring
J: oh yeah you could.
G: especially this time of month……and over a dress….all over it
J: since when does places like Nordstroms use DHL???
G: I know. WTF?
G: I may send them a note
J: brr… i’m going to have to go turn my heater up.
J: and i should find something to eat but i’m not really in the mood.
G: my right side is warm from the fire but my left side is frozen from the windows
G: I’m stuffed.
J: lol
G: that dress probably won’t even fit me
G: I made cookies today
G: had 3
J: mmmmm
G: among other things but
G: I’m begging the boys to finish them off. J: i wish i had some cookies right now.
J: that sounds so good.
G: well I wish you were down the road b/c I’d bring you these two to get them out of here
J: lol
G: I read today that Jason Lee and Rob Thomas are both Scientologists. I’m so disappointed.
G: I really liked them
J: man, that’s too bad.
G: I’d like them better if they said they were atheists I think
J: lol!
G: my friend [name] is mormon you know
G: she was telling me that that group of Baptist are protesting the funeral of one of their church leaders that died
G: the Westboro church
J: oh good grief.
G: I know. okay, he was the LDS president
G: like 94 years old
G: WTF? Makes me SICK.
G: time for Lost, time for Lost. Wooohoooooo
G: doing the Lost Dance

G: NOW is when you really need to call Bob
G: not just yet…….give it about 30 minutes
J: LOL… “whatcha doin???”
G: make a list of all the inane things you can blather on about
G: OMG, Boy2 is doing the squirrel call thing
G: and driving me NUTS
G: no pun intended
G: LOL
G: I’m afraid I’m going to turn around and there’s gonna be 30 squirrels on the deck
J: LOL

G: oh you need to watch this…it’s an hour wrap-up first
G: of the whole series
J: okay. i’ll watch.
J: maybe THAT’S what Bob is waiting on to be sure…
J: who the heck is talking?
G: *shrug*
J: sounds like a white morgan freeman
G: maybe it’s hte head bad guy
G: this dude:
G: I think it might be
G: call Bob and ask him.LOL
J: so did they show any of this stuff in the real show or is this something new?
G: no,it’s all clips from the real show
J: ah
J: i’m thinking matthew fox is pretty hot these days.
G: another reason to watch
G: so this wedding Saturday, how much did I tell you? It’s Sat. night at 7 at [College] chapel
J: you only told me that they’re getting married. i know nothing.
G: and they didn’t have the boys names on the invitation so I am assuming they weren’t invited…or as far as manners & etiquette go, if you wanted the kids to go you’d put all their names or & Family
G: but at the same time, I cannot see them telling all these [Family] cousins they can’t bring their kids?
G: there’s no way
G: but it’s so freaking late too, but hte time it’s over it’s 8 plus reception…..past Boy2’s bedtime. Boy1 can go all night
G: so we’re going to leave them with my mom and stay at [lodge]
J: oh, that’ll be fun!
G: when we called for reservations all they had left was their dinkiest rooms
G: so Vince called today to see if they had any cancellations [b/c of the snow]  Not only did they, but they’re giving the rates at 1/2 price!!
G: we got a cabin. I’m not sure I’ll come back
J: wow! that’s awesome!
J: and, yeah, i can’t see them telling all the [Family] kids not to come. i mean, where would [SIL & BIL] leave their kids? they don’t like anyone enough to ask them to watch their kids
G: exactly
G: yeah, they’re all freaky like that too
G: not leaving them alone with strangers!
G: oh, and [ILs] are gone–out of town–not going
G: but I made sure Vince told [FIL] tonight that the boys weren’t invited
G: I honestly think it’s almost that they’re such idiots they have no idea that’s the proper etiquette. I mean they send out invitations to showers 2 days prior
G: so I’m looking forward to everyone asking for the boys and me saying, “They weren’t invited”
J: are [SIL & BIL]  coming?
G: sure as heck not that I know of. I can’t imagine
J: where are [ILs] going to be? i can’t imagine missing a [family]wedding…
J: i mean, your kids birthday’s, sure… but a [family] wedding? no way.
G: I know. They must hate [groom]
G: LOL
G: so I can’t imagine this
G: and they’re in Florida
G: or someplace far away
G: I don’t ask

J: crap! this is scary!
G: LOL
J: so, is there a jacob?
G: I’m sorry, I wasn’t paying attention and then got up. What part were they showing?
J: the leader of the others took the old guy to see jacob?
J: and there wasn’t anyone really in the chair but the old guy heard him say “help me”
G: *shrug*
G: It’s been like 8 months since this show was on!
J: they went to this shack thing
G: call Bob and ask him. LOL. I don’t remember
J: and then he took him outside and shot him and threw him in the pit with all the skeletons.
G: Jacob doesn’t sound familiar…..but hmm I vaguely remember what you’re talking about
G: there’s the commercial for that movie
J: have you thought about what you’re giving up for lent?
G: no….
J: they just happen to have pregnancy tests on the island?
G: I can’t remember if it was in the plane stash or the Others had them.
G: there was an excuse
G: I might give up coffee for lent
G: I’m trying to cut back on it
G: but that sounds BAD
G: that girl didn’t have bangs when she got on the island
J: i remember you talking about that
G: well it still pisses me off!
G: I can’t tell if I’m getting a sore throat or it’s just this sore on my tongue hurting
G: so is it snowing over there now?
J: yep.
G: I’m trying to get [Friend] not to go to work again. LOL
G: who will entertain me?
G: [her husband] didn’t want her to go out today
J: well, it’s starting to cover the grassy areas, but the parking lot is clear. that’s not to say it won’t be slick tomorrow, though.
G: well it’s been coming down again for a good 3 hours
G: so anything cleared off here has more again
G: are you all caught up now??
J: um, sure!

G: wait, Oceanic SIX? one, two three…um….
G: “moooommmmmmmmmm, I wanna watch myyyyyyyy channel.”
G: First of all, it’s bed time so your channel is OVER
G: and I’ve been waiting ofor this for how long?!?!
J: lol!
J: i love being single & selfish!
G: [local channel] says snow til midnight, 1″-2″
G: Ana Lucia was one of the girls on teh island that got killed
G: and Hurley has met her
G: OMG, my satellite started to go out
J: no way!
G: it was all choppy like it was pouring
G: which they will get off kilther w/ too much snow
G: so I started to ahve a heart attack
G: but it’s back on…for the moment
J: man, i just got up and went to put something in my bathroom and now i have to pee.
G: LOL
G: at least your nails aren’t wet
J: that’s true.
J: OMG. I can never get the WM photo thing to come up online. it always says that the feature will be implemented soon.
G: that’s not right. worked great for me
G: that’s what you get for buying a Wal-Mart computer!
J: true!
J: speaking of which… i’m in the market!
J: it’s running kinda okay for right now, but we both know how that goes.
J: that guy looks really freaky
G: well YEAH
J: WHY>
G: because this is a freaky show
J: oh
J: should i call Bob & ask him why he looks freaky?
G: Yes
G: absolutely
J: i’m going to have nightmares!

J: OMG> They are showing the saddest commercial i have EVER SEEN!!!
G: I SAW IT
G: and Iko can come live with me right now
J: the dog food one?
G: yes
G: sweet little blonde border collie. I want him now
J: i know. all looking at the people… makes my stomach hurt!
G: now they’re showing the grossest
J: lol. olive garden?
G: yeah.LOL
G: I’m hungry again
G: I have been SO bad
J: what did you have for dinner?
G: potato soup
J: mmmm… i had that for lunch from Marketplace
G: mmmmmmm
J: OMG. I am so confoosed
G: lol
G: what?
J: all this coming & going.
G: they’re all hooking back up…the people who crashed together
G: now here’s Boy1, “Sheesh, can we watch our shows.” (he’s been in the playroom this whole time)
G: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
G: oh HELL no
J: he’s dead
G: okay, now that’s Charlie and Charlie’s dead
G: yeah
J: lol!
J: that was funny
G: LOL
G: who knew out of bodies could get haircuts?

G: brrrrr
G: I’m cold
J: me too. i turned the heater up too high, turned it down & now i’m cold.

G: okay, here’s a good reason to stay single
G: I just painted my nails
G: and then my armpit started itching really bad
G: so I was using my polish bottle to itch it
G: and I look up and Vince’s looking at me like WTF are you doing
G: now Girl Cat is too
G: but it REALLY itches!
J: LOL

G: the NY news keeps teasing with your boyfriend George
J: what about him?
G: he’s been at the UN
J: oh, yeah. he’s been peacekeeping.
J: okay, it’s my bed time.
G: oh golly gee
J: ya’ll have fun this weekend
G: almost 10
J: i know.
G: will do
G: let me know if you kill Bob
J: will do.
J: let you know. not necessairly kill him
J: nite!
G: good night

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J: this may qualify as TMI, but my armpits itch like i have fleas.
G: LOL
G: my whole body itches!!! DRY DRY DRY
J: ugh. i know. my skin was so smooth & soft in thailand…
G: So, how was your day dear?
J: LONG
J: Bob is still sick. he has diahrrea…
J: oops… i mean
G: LMAO
G: that’s sadly enjoyable
J: yeah, i know.
J: but i still love him…
G: I know.
G: If Vince were a pill I’d laugh if he had diarrhea too
G: but…..
G: Bob’s on THE list.
J: yes, i know. mine too. and my mom’s.
G: and your big brother Vince. I think he’d kick his butt if necessary. LOL
J: almost everyone asked me if i got engaged.
J: i don’t feel quite so gloomy about it today.
J: i’m not happy about the whole situation, but i’m not quite as mad at him.
J: oh, no. I’m still mad at him. don’t think he’s out of the dog house or off my list.
G: not sigh at you……..just sigh at the whole thing
J: honestly, i think it will happen, and maybe happen soon. but i’m going to have a little talk to him this weekend and mention that we might need to take a break to figure things out.
G: maybe HE needs a break to see if he can live without you
J: yep. that’s what i’m thinking.
J: and maybe a little prodding will do him well.
G: just word it like that. YOU don’t need a break…….
G: but HE needs some sort of kick in the ass….or the head?
G: oops, I mean some time to think
G: Oh, I have a good story for you……
J: yay!
G: it will take me weeks to catch up on all the stories I think!
G: well, it’s not *that* good
G: your friend [Beotch]
J: oh, yeah?
G: yeah, now history here, I have known of her for years…..
G: because she was good, good friends with [friend], she was in her wedding. etc
G: and I’ve met [Beotch} with [friend]
G: and like I’ve been at [girl's] birthday parties with [beotch]
G: I *remember* at [girl's] 1st b-day [Beotch]was pregnant with that second one (boy? with the 8 is enough kid haircut).
G: So Saturday one of Boy2’s friends had a b-day party at the skating rink.
G: and [Froemd] & I are there…..
G: with the boys
G: and it was sweet, cute, adorable, lovely [little girl's] b-day too.
G: I LOVE that child. She was in her leotard & skating skirt.
G: so all your [old work]friends were there….
G: [J's Friend]–who was in her own little world and I literally had to grab her arm to get her attention. LOL
G: and there was another lady…..no clue of her name but i know you know her and she smiled and said hello to me….I think maybe she worked with you or something.
G: and then here comes [Dumb Dude]  & [Beotch]. And [dude] smiles and says hi to us but [Beotch] acts like we’re not standing right there.
G: So [friend] & I didn’t want to sit there the whole party so we left. And of course the first thing she does is starts ripping into [Beotch]. LOL. Not nasty, just “WTH?”
G: and I tell her [Beotch] acts like she doesn’t know me. Now since I’ve told you she does this, I want you to know she’s probably been in my [business] at least a handful of times…..
G: her mother is SO nice, she always carries on a normal conversation.
G: And [friend] thinks I’m exaggerating because [friend] has been in the same room with me & [Beotch] and just a few other people…so she KNOWS she knows who I am.
G: We go back to the party later and we’re standing there watching [kid] & Boy2 skate
G: and [Beotch] is like 1 foot from [Friend] facing the other way. So [Friend] leans over and says ” Hi, [Beotch]“
G: and of course [Beotch] then puts on her perfect little southern act “Ohhhhhhhhhh, [Friend]! How are you? Who are you here with? Are all your kids here? Oh just him? How old is he now? How old are the other two? Oh gosh, I bet they’re big…” that shit.
G: Leslie goes, “Holly, do you know my friend G…G [Last name]‘?” “Noooooooo! I don’t. Nice to meet you G.”
J: OMG!
G: and of course [Friend] is where only *I* can see her face and is DYING laughing
G: but honestly……Am I so forgettable that you could come in my [businsess] a dozen times, meet me at a dozen *things…birthday parties, etc.

G: but seriously…….what did I do to her? LOL. Not that I’m gonna lose sleep over it….it just bewilders me.
J: i dunno. i mean, she’s always been sugary sweet to me. but i can certainly see how she could be a total b*tch

J: it just got a little cold in here.
G: we have a fire going even though it’s nice out
G: that wind is chilly
J: oh yeah. i heard your boyfriend all the time in [Far Away foreign country]
G: I can’t wait to tell him
J: even saw his video for Me & Mrs. Jones on their MTV
J: and some group has remade Home
G: really? I didn’t even know there was a video for that!
G: Westlife
J: yep
G: I did know that.

G: it’ll give me a good topic starter
J: the video never actually showed him making out with mrs. jones… she was kind of a ghost figure going in and out of the video.
J: did you hear the guy’s “No Sex Allowed” song? I think your boyfriend should record it.
G: LOL…yes

J: well, and of course everytime we’d hear him Bob would announce “there’s michael bubble”
J : man, the bed at the resort had this awesome pillowtop and down pillows so now i’m in the market!
J: i have a 20% off coupon from Bed Bath & Beyond so i think i’ll make a trip there tomorrow.
G: yes, but I read the other day that most pillows are dipped in a toxic liquid to make them fireproof.
G: and then you lay your head on the toxic stuff..
G: the toxic stuff causes brain tumors in rats
G: so I’m going to make a pillow out of leaves & pine needles…like the old days when no one had brain tumors
J: LOL!!! i was going to ask what you were going to do for a pillow.
G: well, I googled natural pillows
G: and they’re like $75 each
G: x 4
G: well, we have 6 pillows on our bed….but we only need 2 to sleep
J: well, but will the toxins seep onto your natural pillows from the toxic pillows?
G: see I know
G: so $75 x 8
J: lol
J: have you told Vince that you need new pillows?
G: yeah
G: among other things
J: has he mentioned living in the cardboard box lately?
G: no, not really

J: i made myself sick on sour cream & cheddar baked lays.
G: Sorry….now Vince’s going to talk about living in a box. Nevermind. LOL
J: LOL
G: and I walked off and got in the shower just to get away from it…forgot I was in the midst of a conversation

J: okay, i have to go to bed. hopefully i’ll get back in sync soon!
G: ok
G: good night
J: nite

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J: I’M HOME!!!!!!!!! PRAISE THE LORD, HALLELUJAH!!!!
J: i’m going to run get something to eat but i’ll brb if you show up in the mean time..
G: YAY!
G: Vince was beginning to worry me…saying Bob had most certainly sold you
J: after being on a stinkin’ plane for 24 hours i kinda wish he had
G: LOL
J: kellie pickler is on Are You Smarter Than A 5th Grader’
G: isn’t that a rerun?
G: it was really bad too
G: “Hungry? Is that a cuntry?”
J: yep *rolls eyes*
G: Okay, well start at the beginning and tell me EVERYTHING!
J: k, hang on
J: i’m copying my pics so i’ll give you a pictorial
G: ok
G: that’s what [Brother] did too. E-mailed the pics and then called & gave the play by play last Sunday (but I missed it thankfully)

G: really the pictures are amazing. The landscape is just like nothing else I’ve seen. Very cool

J: i’m watching AI and that single dad just got through. how touching.
G: aww
G: the SAG awards are coming on though!! You’re going to have to pause.
J: what channel do they come on?
J: ok. so, first, we had the layover in [another far away country] and it was so cold! and of course we left our coats in the car as we knew we weren’t going to need them. so i was walking around in 20 degree weather with my gap blue jean jacket on.
G: sorry, I was downstairs beating a child & doing laundry. My 2 favorite things
J: my how i’ve missed that
G: I don’t know what channel……the pre thing is on E
J: this was our hotel… how exciting, huh?
G: woohoo. LOL
J: this was a shot down the street. it was very NYC with all the signs and stuff. they had all these little shops up and down the street selling very american things. it was really interesting to see how much they cater to us.
J: and i knew you’d appreciate the pasta cone!
G: LOL
J: Bob wouldn’t go buy one, though. it looked so gross!
G: LOL
G: yeah
G: um
J: so anyway, we left [another country] finally. the airline gave us meal vouchers and the food in the hotel was so gross. i had this chicken cutlet thing and i want to puke every time i think about it.
G: lol
J: let’s see… then we got to [City in Far Away Foreign Country].
J: seriously, i have never been so scared in all of my life. the streets were dirty. it smelled like death. we went out that first morning and we went back to the Inn at lunch time and i cried and told Bob that i didn’t want to go back out.
G: awww
J: they had all these street vendors and they were cooking “food” on these little carts and i would have never eaten anything off them even if i was starving to death.
G: lol
J: obviously, there’s no USDA over there so…
J: but we went to [place] where they have all these temples. there were so many people there. and that’s where my camera broke
G: bummer
J: it was very interesting. everything was so ornate. they really love their buddah!
G: Boy1 just threw a fake snake on my laptop
J: did you scream?
G: more yelled
G: and Boy2 is downstairs laughing “Did you do it dude?”
J: lol!
G: SAG is on TBS BTW
J: i hope i have enough $$ left over to buy me a new computer
G: me too!
J: okay. i found my pics from [City in Far Away Foreign Country]
G: ok
J: i know.
J: are you going to accept my photo sharing invite?????
G: I didn’t get one…I still have the other photos up! LOL
G: hang on, let me close it and ask again.
J: oh! well i guess when i had to reboot it took mine away.
G: ah, I didn’t see you leave either. LOL
J: oh, well i’m glad to see you’re waiting on my every word!
J: this was some temple at the [place]. these scary looking guys were guarding the place
G: Boy2 is fascinated. He’s been jaded by Epcot center I’m afraid! “Look at [Far Away Foreign Country]” “yeah, uhhuh”
J: lol!
J: this temple was covered with little colored mirrors & tiles. it was very pretty and shiny.
G: “Look at THAT one, isn’t it cool?” mmmhmm
J: and i’m not sure what this place was, but the king’s sister just died and she was laying in state in this building and there were hundreds of people lined up to see her.
J: and this was the big reclining buddah. he was very big. and very gold.
J: and while we were there there was an Australian guy filming a segment for tv. he was really cute and i wish i had gotten a pic of him
G: lol
G: and cool. I just always pictured Buddah as the fat sitting guy

J: this was a pic of the street there in [City in Far Away Foreign Country]. and it was one of the better buildings.
J: i just took a pic because i wanted to remember never to go back to [City in Far Away Foreign Country] again.
G: lol
J: and this was our Inn. it was so cute. it was in the middle of this nasty street.
G: cute
J: this was the inside of it.
J: we didn’t ever get a pic of the room. it was small but it was like a safe haven for me!
G: LOL
J: they have these boats that take people up and down the canal to get to other sides of the town. this was a “house” there on the canal.
J: oh, and the water was so nasty! thank God i didn’t fall in! there’s no telling what disease I would have gotten!
G: LOL
G: I’m sure
J: we went to the mall on the second day and this was a pic outside of this bra store. i give you two guesses as to who wanted to take this pic…[boobies]
G: LOLOL!
G: hilarious
J: yeah, we thought so.
G: I’m saving that one!
G: my [friends] will like it
J: oh, yeah they will!
J: i don’t know why i clicked on that pic.
J: finally we made it to [Another City in Far Away Foreign Country]! thank God!
G: much better
J: these were some rock formations. they are made of limestone and thus they are round at the top and not pointed ’cause when it rains it falls off to the side.
G: *raises eyebrow*
G: LOL
J: that’s just what they told me
J: here’s a pic of my bellboy boyfriend.
J: he put on the jacket at the hotel and came into the bathroom and said, “may i take your bags, maam?”
J: and that’s [name] with him. this is at the traditional wedding which was quite interesting.
G: LMAO
G: I was going to say, that was exactly what he looked like
J: the wedding took place at (his wife’s) mom’s house. but we (groom and his wedding party) started out at this house like a half a mile away and we walked down to the house. there were drummers and firecrakcers and everything.
G: wow
J: i had to video it. i did a good job.
G: YAY, Tina Fey won!
J: oh, and Bob had a hold an umbrella over Groom’s head the whole way. i wish i had gotten a pic of that. it was funny.
G: LOL
G: Okay, that looks liek a game show. The [Country] Dating Game
J: and when we got to the house Bride was in the bedroom waiting but before Groom could go get her he had to sit with these guys who did these chant things.
J: OH and they had to consummate their marriage at her parents house! their tradition is to buy a new bed and put it in her childhood room and that’s where they spend their first night together.
G: *gasp*
J: yeah. to which I’d say no thanks!
J: and that’s them in her new bed!
G: niiiice
J: she is so cute. i think she’s like 5 foot nothing and weighs about 95 pounds.
G: and food in bed!! Looks like hte perfect night to me!
G: couldja put her in your pocket?
G: I have no idea what happened. I got up to pee and was disconnected. COntinue….
G: and then Girl Cat somehow clawed my butt.
J: LOL
J: we stopped at this beach. it’s one of the top 10 most romantic beaches in the world. this little guy was in front of us.
G: LOL
J: we took this longtail boat over to this other beach.
G: Boy2 is gone now. He would have been impressed with the monkey
J: wait till you see the elephant!
J: that’s me on the boat.
G: and no life jacket!
J: nope!
J: this was one of the rock formations on this beach. OH and this was the one… man, i wish we had taken a pic… they had a shrine to this princess who like died there or something and they were all penis’. no lie. we didn’t take a pic because people were in there burning incense and stuff at the time!
J: i kept thinking about how much you would appreciate it.
J: i think that’s a really pretty pic.
J: THIS was our resort. the view out of our window.
G: wow
J: this was the bathtub on the balcony.
G: and did you use it?
J: i sure did. in the middle of the night!
J: just incase
G: *giggle*
J: you can’t really tell anything, but that was the shower.
J: the room was like ultra modern. it was really cool.
G: I”m going back to photo 1 to show Vince.
G: ok, we’re caught up
J: obviously you can’t see us but i think this is a cool pic
G: maybe I can lighten your face in photoshop?
J: maybe so!
J: we thought this sign was pretty funny
G: KIK
G: without HIV
G: oops
G: that was LOL, not KIK
J: LOL! i was trying to figure that one out!
G: ooh, I see MOJITO!
G: I was reading it and typing
G: What’s with the hippopotamus on the sign next door?
J: i don’t know. i didn’t see it until now.
J: i gotta go to the bathroom and take clothes out of the dryer… i’ll brb.
G: I love arguing with the arguer.
G: he wants me to go get his MP3 player out of the car
G: cuz you know sasquatch is out there
G: “What have you done for me today?”
G: I cleaned up around the house.
G: “Yeah, you cleaned up YOUR mess.”
G: man, I tanned today and my boobies are burned!!!!
J: ouch!
J: my forehead got burned right along my hairline and it’s starting to peel.
G: man! right in between em!
G: and then right at the crease of my first fat roll. LOL
J: LOL
G: ooh, it hurts!
G: I just realized it.
J: i took some terrible pics over there! all i wanted was a really good pic on the beach and i look like a drunk idiot in every one of them! and i was never drunk.
J: here’s the elephants! they were so cute.
J: this was the one we rode
G: cool
J: here’s the view from the top of a mountian from the top of an elephant.
G: very cool
J: here we are on top of the elephant.
G: cute
J: we got the pic that they took of us. i’ll have to scan it so you can actually see that I was on the elephant.
G: ok
G: LOL
J: this was the elephant traffic jam!
G: LOL
J: this was the monkey who harvested cocnuts
J: coconuts
G: awww
G: I want a monkey!
J: i know. he was so cute. what he does is climbs up in the tree and spins the coconut until it comes loose then he pops it off. it was really cute.
J: here we are riding in a cart pulled by a water buffalo.
G: Everybody loves a waterbuffalo!
G: Did you sing that?
J: YEP!
G: LOL! I am too
J: i couldn’t remember all the words and just kept singing that part over and over again. i even sang it to Bob while riding the waterbuffalo.
J: here we are on the steps outside our room.
G: I can’t really remember it all either.
G: that’s cute
J: and this was hanging in the middle of the reception room.
J: i want to do that when i get married. help me remember.
G: cool
G: ok, I have my tulle ribbons I can get from Nashville Wraps
J: and it had twinkle lights in it.
G: cool
J: this is what it looked like from afar.
G: that’s cool
G: ooh, and the bows on the chair…purty!!!!
J: yeah, it was very purty.
J: here’s the wedding
G: did Bob get to keep his lilac shirt?
J: and the wedding cupcake tower
J: yep. here’s hoping he never has to wear it again.
G: that’s cool
J: here’s the thing with the twinkle lights.
G: Oh yeah, I Need to get you that magazine with allt he [area] wedding stuff. Add it to your hope chest.
J: yeah. and we’ll talk about that after the pics…
G: ok.
J: this is me & Bob and his friends in front of the wedding cupcake tower.
J: here’s Bob snorkeling around the [name]
G: beauty-full
G: ok that big rock in the water poops all over the [area lake] “big rock”
J: um, yeah, ‘fraid so.
J: this was the opening going into the beach
G: oh wow

G: I just gave Vince a 10 second catch up on the photos
G: “Did J not snorkel.” Honey, this is J [LAST NAME]. HAve you met her?
J: LOL.
G: “yeah but she went in [Area Lake]“
J: honestly i thought about it, but the waters were kinda choppy and i didn’t want to take any risks.
G: yeah but snorkeling is an entirely different thing
J: there was especially this one place that was really choppy so i certainly decided to stay in the boat.
J: but our guide asked me all about why i don’t swim & all this stuff and told me that i really needed to take swimming lessons to “conquer my fears”. yeah, thanks dude. like I haven’t heard THAT before…
J: this was this mushroom rock thing in the middle of the sea.
G: kewl
J: and this was Bob’s crab friend.
J: and here we were just seconds after that boat banged me in the head.
G: ouch
J: and here’s our pina colada.
G: mmmmm
G: that’s the real deal
J: yep.
G: I’m back again…don’d know why that keeps happening
J: i’m not seeing that you’re gone or anything.
G: well, I don’t see it, but then all of a sudden my Yahoo is off and the sites I’m on says “Cannot display web site”
J: that’s weird
G: I am gonna hop in the shower
J: okay. i’m going to try to stay awake…
G: okay, back. Sorry. Continue the stories!!!
J: hmmm… well, i think that was it in a nutshell.
G: ok
G: disconnected again! Bah
G: I’m going to wire MY jaw shut tomorrow
G: Merle is on Bill Maher and I think he’s out of his gourd.
J: the jet lag is really catching up with me. i think i better go to bed. i’ve got a long stinkin’ day ahead of me tomorrow.
G: Okay. I’m sure. get some sleep
J: not to mention the fact that i have NO food in this house and i’m going to HAVE to go to the grocery store if i intend to eat anytime soon.
J: oh, and the laundry.
J: that will be an all week chore in itself!
G: oy.
G: I’m sure
J: but, i guess i could just leave it all for the summer time as i’m not going to be wearing any of it anytime soon anyway!
G: that’s what I was going to say. Minus undies……what do you need?
J: yeah, that’s what i’m thinking.
J: okay, well i’m off to bed. it’ll all be better tomorrow. i’m just sure of it.
G: Good night! Yes. The Sun’ll come out tomorrow!
J: LOL!
J: nite!

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New Jersey Freakshows

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J: Crap! I forgot to go to B&N! do you want me to go now???
G:
J: i know! i’m a bad friend.
G: no no…don’t go out.
G: I’m getting ready to have a meltdown anyway….
G: the boys have just destroyed the playroom and they can’t put it back the way it was.
J: they’re so helpless
G: well, not that but like they can’t roll the sleeping bags up right
G: and they can’t REACH all the sh*t they pulled out
J: where did they put it?!
G: no, they pulled crap from storage up above the closet
G: like the dog bed!
G: and sleeping bags
J: i’m not even going to ask why…
J: you still there?
G: yeah, I’m watching We Are Marshall. I figured you were off packing!
J: i’m fixing to. i’m eatin’ a bowl of Pops right now, though.
G: LOL
J: so when i get back from the trip i am going to sew my jaw shut.
G: I’m thinking I might do that myself.
J: have you seen Drop Dead Gorgeous?
G: yeah.
G: I love that
G: we saw it was on but I just watched it again late the other night
J: i’ve never seen it.
J: until now that is
G: so I can’t find the cords that go to the boys’ MP3 players.
G: I don’t understand how stuff like that gets lost.
J: i know. i hate when i can’t find stuff like that. i thought i lost my iPod one the other day and it’s just so agrivating.
G: well and of COURSE the cords are odd and no other cords will work
G: although my iPod plug will plug into it but it doesn’t do anything (like charge)
J: of course. nothing could ever be easy.
G: never
G: I seriously cannot fathom where it could be. Boy2 can’t find his DS either. I think the mini-sasquatch living in the couch may have taken them.
J: there’s no telling.
G: i’m going to reboot
G: i went and looked more for those @#$@# cords!
G: I mean everywhere.
G: it’s not like we have that many hiding places in our house
G: I just had Vince look in the drawer with all the game controllers…wires could get shoved in there accidentally. Nope.
G: Last time I used it was at the kitchen table. And there should be two of them.
J: how could both of them magically disappear??
G: I know. I’m SO irritated
G: I will be tearing the house apart tomorrow
G: our bedroom has been completely emptied and refilled since Sunday
G: so I know every inch of what’s in here
G: I looked under both couches, coffee table, TV stand, computer cabinet
G: I’ll tear apart that cabinet tomorrow because it was messy
G: well poop, the people’s choice awards are on and we’re not critiqueing
J: i had no idea they were on
G: oh, it’s just Queen Latifah reading them off and the people who won are on tape
G: James Denton is in the [Brother] spot standing behind John Edwards on CNN
G: Jon Stewart was making fun of Chuck Norris being behind Huckabee after his Iowa speech.
J: G, i swear that i’m going to KILL BOB
G: oh fun!!
G: what now?
J: i don’t know if this trip is such a good idea.
J: first of all, he thinks we’re going to do laundry over there. Hello. there is not going to be a washing machine at the resort we’re staying at.
J: he said that we could have it done. well, yeah, but they’re going to charge us cheapskate.
G: LOL
J: then, i tell him that i packed my straightner. “Why are you taking that?”
G: well you be sure and send everything out and be sure that he gets the bill
G: WHAT?
J: and I said, “well, i brought my curling iron, too. is that okay?”
G: okay, he’s a jackass! LOL
J: seriously. he’s going to kill me.
G: like they take up a lot of room? Tell him not to bring shaving cream
G: those are necessities I’m afraid!
G: It’s not like you’re going to be laying on the beach every day doing nothing. You’re going someplace you have to look nice.
J: yeah, then he’s like, “well, you can find a dress for the wedding over there.” NO. I am not going to wait until i get there on the chance that i’ll find something.
G: yeah, no way
J: and they think that i’m going to buy something over there to wear to this traditional wedding. Hell, no. I’m not going to spend money on some dumb ass looking Thai dress that I will never wear again.
G: LOL
J: I’m not spending another DAMN PENNY on this freakin wedding.
G: here’s my fetching cat {VIDEO]
J: i just nearly cut my finger off.
G: that wouldn’t be good
J: LOL! she was better at bringing it back that Luigi was!
G: I know. I never had to show her. and I don’t HAVE to call to get her to do it…it just feels necessary
G: OMG, you know I said Jon was making fun of chuck norris
G: he did it again tonight
G: then he shows this guy that looks just like Wilford Brimley (but not quite…surely can’t be) standing behind McCain
J: i bought a stupid lock and it doesn’t work.
G: ugh
G: for what?
J: my suitcase
G: oh, are you allowed to do that on international?
J: well, i don’t know.
G: well you’re not allowed on flights in the US. They need to rifle through your things!
J: that’s true… hmmm…
J: well, i’m tired. think i’m going to bed.
J: i leave the day after tomorrow!
G: I KNOW!!!!!!!!
J: yeah, i had a mini breakdown today and told my mom that i don’t want to go
G: yes you do! It’s going to be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!
J: oh, i know. but between the $$$ i’m spending and the fact that i’m ready to KILL BOB…
G: but it will all turn out great.
G: and I’m heading to bed in a sec too. I”m tired. Good night.
J: yeah, i know! it’s going to be great.
J: okay. i’ll talk to you tomorrow. nite!

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J: my exboyfriend JC Chasez was on Las Vegas last week.
G: how exciting for you.
G: *rolls eyes*
G: Did Boy2 chat with you? He was chatting with someone. I just sat down
J: no, wasn’t me. scary, huh?
G: LOL
G: no telling
J: when he sings it takes me back to my early 20’s
J: LOL
G: LOL!!!
G: whoever it was is gone I only have 2 people on my list right now.
J: lord, there’s no telling.
J: do you know if there’s a way to remove a playlist from my iPod? Like I have all my holiday music on here and don’t really need it right now.
G: just click on it and hit delete.
J: oh wow. i’m watching something on my DVR and an emergency alert thing just came on during the middle of it for right now. a tornado warning for [city]
G: like for NOW now? it interrupts it?
J: yeah!
G: and we are under a watch here
G: cool
J: that’s good to know, huh?
G: yeah, it is
G: [city is down by [city]
J: yeah, hopefully it won’t make it this far up.
G: there’s a red spot over the [state] line over there that’s pretty big
G: for here there’s a 90% chance of strong storms
J: great. i hate storms. well, you know that.
G: I know. Know anyone with a basement over there?
G: well, the big red spots are moving pretty quickly north of even us. I think we’ll be okay….if you want my professional opinion
J: i always appreciate your professional opinion.
G: we’re eating all football food in honor of the championship game that we have to watch with two teams we don’t give a flip for
J: lol!
G: I was really good today too and now I have the most fattening foods in the world in front of me
J: so, my boyfriend josh duhamel is having to talk this kid into giving him a horse and he goes in his room and he has fergie posters everywhere and josh says, “hey, are you a fergie fan? yeah, me too.”
G: *rolls eyes*
J: yeah, i know.
J: my exboyfriend JC keeps singing and it makes me want to make him my boyfriend again.
G: please don’t
G: I can support the rest
G: but that one I just cannot do
J: but he sings so pretty

G: The NWS Has Issued Tornado Watch 5 Until 5 Am Cst Tuesday Which Replaces A Portion Of Tornado Watch 3. The, New Watch Is Valid For The Following Areas In [state] The New Watch Includes 7 Counties In Northwest [state]: [county], [G's County], [County], [County], [J's County]
J: great.
J: the wind is whipping here.
G: Girl Cat is eating my toilet paper
G: we’ve just been talking about dogs
G: and here is this cat eating toilet paper
G: she also fetches
J: maybe she’s bi-racial?
G: I think she is
G: part dog, part skunk…..
G: “Boy2 you can’t take that wine bottle to your room”
J: LOL!
J: have you watched the video of Bill Gates last day?
J: ugh. there’s a tornado warning thing on the tv from emergency alert
J: but i don’t think they said Fayetteville
G: 344444444444\
G: that was on my screen when I came back downstairs
J: bella vista & siloam springs right now
G: someone typed that to you.
G: so that’s even too north to hit here…see…..who told you that?
J: looks like both storms are going to miss both of us
J: i’m watching the news right now
J: tornado touched down in [town]
G: yikes!
J: well, they don’t know how big or how long
G: Vince just said “Tell J she’s going to die a virgin.”

J: okay, the weather men are telling the storm chasers where to go!
J: on the air
G: get going then! LOL
J: i can hear the one in the background, “dude, you need to move toward [community]“
G: yikes
J: i need to take a bath and pack but i’m glued here for now!
G: man, I was doing Stumble UPon hitting it looking @ sites and a site came up about the poisons of aspartame and I have a nice big diet coke sitting here.
G: and I’m thirsty
J: nice. that’s why i don’t read things like that.
J: ugh. he just said [J's Town].
G: let me know if you need to get in the bathtub
J: there’s no way i’d be able to get my mattress into the bathroom!
G: LOL
G: what about a couch cushion? ottoman?
J: it’s logistically impossible.
J: yeah, i guess i could take my ottoman in there.
J: well, it must not be too bad. they’re going back to Deal or No Deal.
G: I honestly don’t see anything over you
J: yeah, it wasn’t showing anything on the radar. as long as it doesn’t change course!
G: but just the very edge of green rain
G: there’s an orange spot that goes over [city] for a sec
G: but I’m centered in on your house.
J: it just got eerily still over [city]
J: that’s what the storm reporter Derrik said.
G: ooh
G: I still miss me the [weatherman]
J: lol
J: he’s not on this channel
G: just because you can say his name with a lisp
G: Okay, we’re watching Fast Food Nation
G: I think I’m a vegetarian now
J: me too. i have a tummy ache.
J: have i told you how freakin’ annoying i find those stupid lowermybills.com dancing people?
G: LOL
G: no
G: I’m not sure what it is about this video but I love it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zdVoc8FXhz0

J: my mom called. she’s telling me where i need to go if there is a tornado
G: where’s that?
J: well, either in my bathroom or in my laundry room.
G: okay
J: man, my back hurts.
J: Oh, yeah… it’s going to cost $1.29 per text while i’m in [far away foreign country]!
J: needless to say, I won’t be texting.
G: *sigh*
G: I am going to get diarrhea watching this movie
G: there’s poop on the meat
J: gross!
G: this is worse than Supersize me
G: hopefully not on the Steak & Shake burgers but I’m not eating McDs
J: i’ve gotta go to the bathroom. i’ll brb. just didn’t want you to think i’m getting blown away or anything.
G: ok
G: LOL
G: oh, and there’s rats in there too
G: with the food
J: that’s gross.
G: yeah
J: there is a big ole honkin’ wall cloud by [neighborhood].
G: is that what they said?
G: “big ole honkin”?
J: no, i’m watching it
G:
G: oh
G: I see a big ole honkin red dot on it
J: they are calling it a “well defined” wall cloud. I like big ole honkin’
J: possible confirmed touchdown in [city north of J, West of G]
G: wow
J: confirmed touchdown at 8:57
G: why do I keep going bold?
G: yikes
G: it’s just starting to rumble here
G: I mean we could see lightning far off for a while
G: and it’s windy
G: I had the window open
J: so, what should i wear on the plane?
G: um
G: pajamas?
G: Girl Cat seems to have like a hernia where she had her stitches..
G: I googled it but I can’t find anything on that happening
G: but that’s my diagnosis…a hernia
J: well, you’ve always been right on with my diagnoses so I’m sure that’s what it is
J: there is a tornado on the ground in [community]
G: yikes!!
G: that’s headed this way
J: i guess my upstairs neighbor is taking a bath and when they let the water out i thought for sure my ceiling was falling in.
G: Oh no! LOL
J: and i have one of those door knocker things and the wind will catch it and freak me out EVERY time!
G: go tape it down
J: how the HECK am I supposed to pack for TWO weeks in ONE suitcase?

G: LOL…….from the [station] web site The video attached to this report was shot near [town] by Randy Hicks. Warning: a couple of mild curse words are in the video.
J: LOL!!!!
G: I can’t find the video though.
J: so, should i wear flip flops on the flight or my tennis shoes?
G: hmmm
G: well
G: maybe flip flops and then bring some little slippers.
J: that’s a good idea. i could put them in my carry on.
G: My mom got some for [brother's girlfriend] for their trip but their flight was only 10 hours. They fold up tiny.
G: I was going to get you those but then I saw that stuff and it was SO SOFT!
J: i know. Bob is thinking i’m going to let him use my stuff but, um NO
G: OMG!!!!!!!!!!!! this guy just went into the meat grinder
G: and the screaming went on forever
J: WHAT are you watching??
G: Fast Food Nation still
G: these mexicans work in the plant
G: I mean he’s not dead
G: they’re trying to say he was using drugs so that’s why he’s had the accident.
J: okay. i’m pretty sure i’m safe. i’m going to take a bath,
G: ok
G: well, you’ll be in a safer place anyway
J: okay. much better
G: how long has this freaking strike been going on
G: I todl Vince Daily Show & Colbert were new
G: “I thought you stopped watching those shows.”
G: YES, because they were RERUNS
G: Jon has a Writer’s Strike Solidarity Unibrow
J: LOL
J: Bob tanned a couple of times this weekend and i guess he got burned.
G: uhoh. LOL
G: Yay, no writers Jon has to bring up old stuff.
G: “The Internet is a Series of Tubes”
G: He’s saying why his show is $1.99 at iTunes and his writers don’t get money from a sale
G: it’s the shipping & handling charge.
G: to get it through the tubes
G: I’m ready for bed.
J: me, too.
G: good night. I’ll TTYL
J: nite

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G: Here I is!
J: i was wondering where you were!
G: there was a potluck @ church
G: [priest]’s25th year in the whatever….service. LOL.
G: as a priest

J: you gotta love a good church potluck!
G: oh yeah
G: we sat in the corner

J: i’m putting an audio book on my iTunes for the flight.
J: i got HP
J: it’ll take me the whole trip to get it listened to!
G: fun

G: someone brought pickled eggs
G: which of course Boy2 had to try
J: gross
G: which of course he still smells like
G: we did the floor in our room this w/e…….put down the laminate
J: oh yeah? i bet it looks nice
G: so last night we slept on the mattress on the floor
G: yeah, I love it
G: and the box springs were propped up against the wall
G: and the cats thought they were out in the jungle
J: you’re gonna get the house all pretty and not want to sell it
J: LOL
G: clawing up and down it
G: and perching and overseeing their herd. LOL
G: yeah, my theory on the house is, if I have to stay here i’m going to make it just how I want it.
J: might as well!
J: did you watch FNL?
G: nope
G: I watched Order of the Phoenix with Boy2.
G: I need to watch it online this week
J: i still have quite the crush on kyle chandler.
G: I can see that
J: poor landry
G: ooh, the Wedding Date is on.
J: yeah, i’m recording it
J: landry just said “ass hat”. i’ve never heard that in the general public
G: and I’m gonna guess from not a lot of people other than me!
J: yeah, no
J: i just did my nails and now i need to pee.
G: lol
G: that reminds me I need to do mine too
G: I put a base coat on one hand like 3 days ago
J: Bob & I went to see Juno and it was so good. you’ll like it.
G: cool
G: sometime we need to go on a search for a dress for [names] wedding. It’s like Feb 2?
G: I have NO idea what to wear. It’s been a kajillion years since I went to a winter wedding.
J: oh i didn’t know they were getting married
G: oh, well yeah, they are
J: well isn’t that sweet
G: yeah, so anyway, I need a dress.
J: i finally foudn one at JCPenney’s yesterday
J: when i get back i’m getting a new computer. one that i can have two programs running at once.
G: LOL
G: oh GOOD GRIEF
G: we went the boys to bed at 7:30
G: they’re of course, still awake
G: I hear Boy2, “Boy1!!!!!! Boy1!!!!!!!”
G: I say, “Boy2 go to SLEEP!”
G: “Boy1 won’t answer me!”
G: “Probably because he’s asleep!!!!!!!”
J: LOL!!!
G: ARGH. Some of these places have spring out already!
J: Target already has swimsuits out.
G: what about this one?
J: well, you’d certainly be the talk of the party.
G: I use that Secret Clinical Strength deoderant……..
G: and I’ve used it since it came out
J: this girl just got engaged on her 1 yr. anniversary.
G: and Vince just says, “Did you know they make a clinical strength deoderant now?”
G: yeah, well,
J: LOL!
G: and he’s even borrowed it when his has run out. Apparently he can’t read.
G: Vince wants to know……
G: If you’ve ever heard of the salami sombrero
J: tell him
J: :-p
G: he’s cracking up at himself
J: *rolls eyes*
G: we’re watching the SONIC BLADE infomercial
G: and they made a hotdog octopus
G: and they keep showing it and she puts a hat on the hotdog octopus
G: and he thinks it’s made of salami. ANd he’s CRACKING UP.
J: again,
G: Girl Cat found a piece of the old foam that was under the carpet and is carrying it around in her mouth and bringing it to me
J: how kind of her
J: at least it’s not a dead rodent.
G: true
G: have I told you about her balls? they have a ton of feathers on them….looks like a tail of a bird
J: no!
G: yeah, 3am it kinda freaks me out
J: lol!
G: http://www.worldwise.com/flutterballs.html
J: okay, how can it take 6 hours to get to Bangkok from Seoul but only 5 hours to get back?
G: jet stream?
J: and it takes 14 hrs, 10 minutes to get to Seoul from O’Hare but only 12 hrs and 35 minutes to get back?
J: and talk about jet lag… i leave [far away foreign country] at 2:50 AM on the 26th and get to KC at 1:28 PM on the 26th.
G: ugh
G: I’m actually excited KKITM will be new tomorrow. LOL
J: i know, me too! i’ve been so bored getting ready in the mornings.
G: ok I’m ready for bed. School day tomorrow!!
G: although Girl Cat is playing fetch
G: good night

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G: Good evening
J: and to you.
J: whatcha doin?
G: sitting by the fire
G: watching the Batman cartoon
G:
G: which is hopefully over at 7
J: lol. i’m watching Nannie Diaries
G: I think celebrity apprentice starts tonight
G: and ER is new
G: but not sure what’s on at 7
J: is apprentice 2 hours?
G: oh, could be
G: I thought it was 8 tho
J: there’s still America’s Next Top Model…
J: deal or no deal comes on at 8
J: 7
G: deal
G: nevermind
G: I bought the freaking cats a scratching pad
G: and she’s still scratching the couch
G: those cats will NOT keep their faces out of my glass
G: and if I put something over it they just throw it across the room
J: lol! how fun. for them of course
G: yeah, it’s jsut pissing me off
G: Girl Cat just got the hint
J: you’re so mean to those poor babies. keeping them from having their fun.
G: if you could see them now………
G: I can barely tyupe they’re on my arms
J: i need a kitty.
G: yep. you’d definitely be warmer than you are right now
G: I wish I had a pic
G: I am looking @ this site that has some bath & body–lip balms, more makeup otherwise. it says, “We test our products on boys, not animals”
J: LOL! how cute.
G: I swear I had these when I was a kid
G: pre-teen, something
J: me, too.
G: well, I got my camera but now the cats are gone
G: because Boy2 wouldn’t cooperate and help
J: silly Boy2
J: have they started back to school yet?
G: that’ wasn’t the s-word I was thinking
G: nope
J: have you seen this movie?
G: nope
J: it’s not nearly as bad as everyone says
J: i leave for [City] a week from tonight.
J: i’m not freaking out or anything at all.
G: good, you shouldn’t be!!
J: i hope i start my period tomorrow. i’m eating everything in sight.
G: LOL, I know the feeling

G: I want to know how these are 14 of the world’s most successful celebrities
G: considering I’ve never heard of some
J: yeah, well, and if they’re so successful what are they doing on a reality show?
G: exactly
G: well, I mean yeah they’re only F list anyway……
G: but
G: sorry, there was crying & blood. no idea what my point was
J: ugh oh

G: LOL……are you watching this too or on your movie still?
J: i’m still on my movie. i’m recording it
G: the Sopranos guy called her Ponderosa
J: LOL

J: i’m on the apprentice now. i have no idea who at least 4 of the people are that i just saw

G: Carol Alt
G: marilu henner
G: some lady that’s a producer
G: Mexican
J: that’s joe don’s wife
G: that last cute girl was a playboy playmate
J: yeah, joe don’s wife.
G: no idea who joe don is
J: her hair is cute. she cut it all off.
J: she’s a softball player
G: yeah, Jenny Finch
J: yeah

G: did you hear them say on Kidd Kraddick a few weeks ago to buy a Tiffany Bag and give a present inside it (That’s not Tiffany Jewelry)
J: yes. i sing that song everytime i think about Tiffany
J: i HATE Omarosa almost as much as I HATE Paris Hilton.
G: I think I even hate her more
J: lol!

G: Yay, Barack is winning Iowa.
J: wow. Obama!
J: not to get all political or anything, but I HATE Hillary. not as much as Omarosa & Paris, but almost.
G: Thank goodness. I would be ugly for 4 years if Hillary got it
G: LOL
G: I have no respect for the woman
G: I don’t get it
J: me neither
G: how can she be my president if she let her husband get BJs (not to mention IN the white house)
G: I don’t care anymore that HE did it, I care that SHE put up with the sh*t and didn’t kick his ass out
J: yeah. and that she’s still with him! how any self respecting woman could “stand by her man” i just don’t get it. i mean, i can understand a one time thing. not to say i wouldn’t want to kill him, but you kwim… but time after time after time…
G: or sorry……….
J: i think she’s really pretty
G: I went to look for chocolate

J: i need to make a list of everything i need to record while i’m gone.
G: LOL
G: you’ll be watching til your eyes roll out of your head
J: yeah
G: LOL
G: I wish Omorosa would go first
G: but she won’t
G: because she’s ratings
J: i know.
G:
J: LOL
G: she’s a bitch
J: what show is he in?
G: who?
J: the guy she’s fighting with
G: the british guy?
J: yeah
G: was a judge
G: on America’s Got Talent?
J: oh yeah
J: wow
G: awesome.
J: this sounds stupid, but these things make me cry
G: that right there was going to. I knew what his charity would be
J: i think he’s the guy that wears the [Christian t-shirt] stuff
G: yeah, I was going to ask if he was the crazy christian one.
G: one of the others is on Celebrity Rehab or whatever so I know it’s not him
J: well, when Bob & i first saw the celebrity rehab commercial i thought that was the one and i was telling him that wouldn’t be good for business
J: that is cute.
G: but again, most of them are that much for 1
G: oh wow, are you seeing the same commercial as I am??????
G: How To Look Good Naked with Carson Kressley!
G: and had naked overweight women
G: well, bra & panties
J: yeah, i’ve seen commercials for that.
G: wow, wonder if they’re drugged
G: there was some study women would rather spend a week in jail than shave their heads
G: and then the other choice was go on national TV in a bikini
J: lock me up
G: me too
G: although I’d go on TV in a bikini over shaving my head but I’d pick jail 1st!!!
J: LOL
J: i don’t want tiffany to get to boot already. i like her.
G: no, well I just hate Omorosa
J: i hope they burn that stupid dress omorosa has on
G: LOL
J: ugh oh
G: I saw that one coming
J: man, i just got really tired.
G: man, you’re old
J: i know!
J: how did she get a Carlos? wasn’t her husband black? or did she have an affair?
G: I can’t remember.
J: me neither
G: Vince just said he was looking at airfare to LA.
G: maybe take the boys to Disneyland
G: I told him it was the same price as NY
G: Now I’m putting THAT bug in his ear
J: i know I’D rather go to NY. besides, you been to disney world. disney land is going to be lik silver dollar city ;-
G: that’s what I said. LOL
G: well, he mentioned San Diego
G: and the zoo…I’d like that. I’d go there now and NY in June
J: that’d be fun
G: sweet! Hillary was 3rd!
G: after Edwards
J: i know. that’s what my mom was saying.
J: but i’m sure she’ll pull some crap and make a turn around. i hope not, but…
J: well, i’ve stayed up as long as i could.
J: and it’s hot in my apartment.
G: I just took part of my pajamas off
J: i may have to sleep with the fan on. or maybe not wear my flannel pj’s
G: LOL, that’s what ‘m in
G: and the fan’s not on yet.
G: but I’m just wearing the tank now
J: yeah, i think i’m fixing to take my pants off and my socks.
J: or mabye if i just took my socks off i’d be better. if my feet are hot my whole body is hot.
G: that too
J: but my toes are cold. go figure.
J: i’m going to get an international plan put on my phone just for the trip and i’m going to see if there’s an international text messaging plan.
G: ohyay
J: but i’m not really sure how that would work. technically i won’t have an international number i’ll just be an international person… hmmmm…. i’ll have to figure that one out.

G: [cleaning lady] came today to clean and they ate popcorn in the living room after
G: plus someone rippedopen the bag of oyster crackers [in my office]
J: i think it’s time for them to go back to school
G: yah
G: but at the same time, I want them to CLEAN UP AFTER THEIR DAMNSELVES
J: that’s not too much to ask!
G: did I tell you about vacuuming under the couch cushions?
J: no
G: yeah, that was fun
G: Boy2 shoves everything in there
G: adn then stuff falls down in the cracks by the arms
G: so we have a slit under the lining on the bottom so all that stuff can come out. (tip the couch)
G: I’m pretty sure when I reached my hand in there something grabbed me back.
G: Seriously, I did freak and scream. LOL.
J: LOL!
G: it’s a pretty ideal place to live if you ask me
G: free food, warm,
G: quiet most of the day
J: i wouldn’t be surprised if the kitties don’t find it someday
G: well, apparently people don’t believe me. “So, you think that’s sasquatch too?”
J: okay. i have to go to sleep now.
G: ok, good night
J: nite!

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J: Happy birthday to you
J: Happy birthday to you
J: Happy birthday dear G
J: Happy birthday to you!
G: thank you!
J: it is your birthday, right???
G: LOL, yes
J: did you get any good presents?
G: um
G: no
G: LOL
G: Vince ordered me that coat from Chadwicks’ you know?
J: oh yeah
G: and we got the FREE digital camera in the mail
G: and the invoice said the coat was shipping in February
G: and I guess that’s my only present.
G: Oh, [SIL] gave me a coffee mug with a G on it at Christmas
G: a travel mug
J: you’re kidding me!! February?!
G: which was better than the Christmas present but still.
G: yeah, I know.
J: lol
J: well, how’s the camera?
G: I gave it to Boy1
G: but it appears to suck ass
J: LOL. that good, huh?
G: I haven’t tried to dump the pics off yet
G: you really can’t even tell if it took a picture
J: guess i won’t borrow it for [far away foreign country]
G: yeah, I wouldn’t recommend iot
G: it
J: have you seen Legally Wed?
J: Licensed to Wed
G: I have it but no
J: it was pretty cute. that little boy on there was hilarious.
G: I’ve been watching America’s next top model marathon forever
G: and ever
G: the one that was on when I woke up today ended while we were out to dinner. I don’t know who won!!!!!!! It was down to the bottom 2.
J: LOL!!!
J: that sucks!
J: i am totally in love with Pioneer Woman’s puppy.
G: well, thanks to the googles I know
J: i want him
G: I was pretty sure it was her because when I saw that pic on the show–it was their Cover Girl pic (and the winner got a CG contract) I thought i remembered seeing that photo before.
J: i see
J: so i had to go to the doctor today.
J: i had to bring the baby over to a foster family here so i got to claim my milage!
J: he was so cute
G: oh, cool. so what’s your problem now? and why didn’t you come to me? LOL
J: his little legs were tiney tiny!
G: awwwwwwwwwwww
J: well, i’ve been having this problem for a little while but it’s in an, um, embarassing place and i didn’t want to mention it. One of those, “if you ignore it, it’ll go away” kinda things?
J: i had myself freaked out that i had all kinds of stuff. Including, but not limited to strep, ghonarrea, oh, you name it, i had it
G: um, okay, well then maybe I don’t want to examine you
J: yeah
J: but
J: come to find out it was simply an ingrown hair
J: so i have to take an antibiotic to get rid of the infection. not fun. but you asked
J:
G: LOL
G: true.
G: and on Seinfeld the chick thought she got gonorrhea from the tractor seat….so it was entirely possible
J: i can’t wait for the new Indiana Jones movie!
G: me too!
G: it’s too bad I don’t get this show when it’s on during the current season. We could totaly bitch and make fun
J: lol! we need us a good bitch show!
G: I know, this season 5 or 6? just started on VH1. I may be up all night
J: LOL! that’s why i can’t watch marathons!
G: I just cheated to see who wins this one and she’s one I do NOT GET at all
G: http://images.askmen.com/galleries/model/nicole-linkletter/pictures/nicole-linkletter-picture-1.jpg
G: http://www.nicolelinkletter.net/
G: WTF? I’m glad I didn’t watch the whole season just to get pissed. I mean she’s *cute*…like really cutesy, but there’s nothing pretty about her. Or even strange
J: yeah, that’s what i was going to say. she’s cute, but that’s about it.
G: ooh, this will get good!
G: Whitehead was chosen to compete on the fifth cycle of UPN reality-television show America’s Next Top Model, but quit the competition during the fourth episode. Whitehead became emotional during the makeover episode, wherein her long, dark brown hair was cut extremely short and dyed blonde, in an attempt to create a look similar to that of actress Mia Farrow in the film Rosemary’s Baby.[4] During the next judging round, host Tyra Banks was still not pleased with Whitehead’s haircut as she wanted to make it even shorter.[5] During their next photo shoot, Whitehead was scheduled to have another haircut, but she refused.[6] Whitehead claimed that the producers gave her one night to consider her options, following which she decided to walk out of the competition.[7] She also claimed that
G: she was unhappy at the way they attempted to change her attitude.[7] Whitehead was the first contestant to voluntarily leave the show.
J: gotta love a good scandal like that!
G: no lie
G: there was another girl on the last season that got chopped too
J: ugh. it’s almost tax time.
G: I know…time for me to start countin inventory
J: that’ll be fun! wish i could be there to help!
G:  you have to log in to your myspace to see it but this is the girl that quit….you can see what htey did to her.
J: she’s pretty. but not with short blonde hair.
G: yeah, I agree
G: my computer just recovered from a serious error
J: ugh oh
G: and of course the reporting thing is of no help

J: i’m going to go take a bath and shave my legs. i hope i don’t fall asleep in the tub…
G: wow
G: no lie. That’s great, it was needed
G: I can’t figure out this guy.
G: I’m more jealous of his legs than any other model on this show! LOL
J: that’s a boy?
G: well, yeah, I think so. LOL
G: it doesn’t usually look like that
G: no, they say HE when they talk about it I think.
J: lol
J: i take it this chick in color by tyra is the winner?
G: Also known as “Miss J. Alexander” and “Queen of the Catwalk,” he has been a judge on America’s Next Top Model since Cycle 5, and a runway coach on the show since the first cycle
J: interesting
J: so someone must be confoosed
G: must be.
G: LOL, no lie
J: so scott baio found love?
G: His career took off when he met the then-president of Elite Model Management, Monique Pillard while he was in drag. She was so impressed with his look that she sent him to Tokyo to model, where he walked the runway for top designer Jean Paul Gaultier.
G: yep
G: well, he had it
G: but he decided to commit to her
J: OMG.
J: what is that?
G: NICE
G: I haven’t seen this “person” yet
J: she doesn’t look THAT bad as a blonde
J: but i would be pissed if they cut all my hair off like that!
G: no, but she was definitely prettier dark & long
J: don’t you know he loves saying “PENalized”
G: LOL
G: penile-ized
J: yeah
J: i don’t think i like kim or ebony.
G:  CLICK
G: what’s with that shirt?
J: oh, my
J: who wins this season?
G: that girl I showed you earlier…cute but not pretty
J: oh, yeah.
G: her
G: Nicole
J: yeah
J: she kinda looks like kate bosworth
G: yeah
J: she’s annoying (ebony)
G: yeah
G: you should’ve seen this girl on the last season
G: she was 3rd
G: Keenya
G: something like that
J: okay, i’ll watch the rest of this episode then i have to go to bed. I have to turn the tv off AS SOON as this one is over or i’ll get sucked in again,
G: LOL
J: i hope i get my phone tomorrow!
G: “So is this over with?”
J: lol!
G: oh yay.
G: I hope so too
G: but I said “Put it on whatever you want” in a bitchy tone
G: so he can’t change it
J: LOL!
G: yeah, I know
G: “now wasn’t it down to 2 this morning?”
J: duh
J: did he win the Kentucky Derby?
G: LOL
G: apparently
G: I have to tell you, if my hair looked like that, I would CRY too. And be bitchy.
G: and complain or whatever.
G: CLICK
J: OMG
G: [friend] didn’t see hte penis
G: “that’s not a blue whale, it’s a whale shark”
G: um they don’t SAY it’s a blue whale technically
J: lol! how the heck could she miss that?
G: I KNOW, it’s circled in RED
J: ebony kinda looks like a man
G: yeah
J: please don’t let me forget to set my DVR to record American Idol while I’m gone!!!
G: OH!!!!!!!! I have to watch that ALONE don’t I?
G: I need to find new friends!!!!!!
J: a couple of them
J: NO! I’ll be back!
G: well I know but those will be the best! the 1st couple.
J: thank god it’s not top model. i didn’t get it turned off in time.
J: yeah, i know.
G: it is
G: they show a long commercial in between
J: oh, okay. then thank god for the commercial.
G: it’ll be back…goooo run, go to sleep
J: i keep forgetting that tomorrow is only Thursday.
G: oh, sharks don’t have penises BTW
J: oh yeah? did you google it or did [friend]?
G: something I just learned that I need to share.
G: [friend]! LOL
J: LOL!
J: see, i don’t even know her but i know her!
G: LOL. true.
J: okay, i’m going to sleep. i’ll talk to you tomorrow. Nite!
G: good night

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G: HAPPY NEW YEAR!
J: you too!
J: did ya’ll have fun last night?
G: yeah, it was nice
G: good dinner, slow service
G: we left here at 6:20, got in right away b/c we had reservations, didn’t get home until 11.
G: and we ate & came straight home!
G: no dessert even
J: no dessert?!
G: nope, we were ready for bed, it was so freaking late. Plus we never saw our waiter.
G: 3+ hours to have salad & dinner
G: well wait, 2:45
J: were they that busy?
G: I mean yeah, they were busy but even our waiter explained, there’s no excuse because you KNOW you’ll be busy on Saturday nights
G: not Saturday
G: busy
G: I was listening to TV
G: [Friend] insisted on paying…….
G: so Vince said he was going to leave the tip
G: so [Friend] put $0 on tip on the CC slip and Vince put cash on the table
G: and the waiter I think saw the tip on the slip and came running after [Friend] apologizing. LOL
G: he didn’t say anything but you know that was it
J: LOL!
J: Bob & i went to lucky dragon and they were packed and our waiter was running around like a mad man.
G: we honestly saw him hardly ever.
G: and the people behind us said the same thing. I mean my back was to them so I never saw but we were griping and one lady heard us and chimed in
G: he didn’t even ASK if we wanted desert.
J: well that’s just not good waiter etiquette!
G: no
G: and gosh, I thought he was going to cry the ONE time he came to the table
G: he was very…um….flamboyant
J: ah
J: so [Bob's Bosses] are in Chicago for new years
G: oh yeah?
J: [Boss] emailed Bob and told him that he ate at the best thai restraunt and asked about the trip and asked if i was going
J: so Bob says yeah and vic emails back and says, “so, when are you going to pop the question?”
J: Bob responds, “ahhhhh……. no comment.”
G: he told you this??
J: yep
G: well, I’d say if he WERE going to propose he wouldn’t tell you the story.
J: if i had a quarter for every time i’ve called him a jackass in my head i’d be a millionaire
G: LOL
J: oh, and flipped him off in my head.
G: oh, then I’d be a bajillionaire
G: and [Friend]……she’d be Queen of the Universe! LOL
J: LOL!
J: does she often call [her husband] a jack ass?
G: or then said it outloud
G: hell, I DO
J: LOL

J: so what did ya’ll do today?
G: we were at  [Friends]’s all day
G: Vince & Boy1 went squirrel hunting
G: in 19 degree temps
G: too cold for any squirrels to be out
J: it’s too cold for anyone to be out. i nearly froze just going to blockbuster
G: I know, the kids went out a lot today. They were playing football & on the trampoline so they were at least moving but they came in with some RED cheeks
J: there is nothing on tv
G: nope
G: except Devil Wears Prada
J: i’m watching legally blonde
G: I saw that was on too
J: i love reese witherspoon
G: me too
J: i’ve nearly hypnotized myself with one of these stupid Yahoo games
G: which one?
J: big kahuna
G: I’m trying to remember. I know I’ve played them alllllllllllllll at one time or another
J: that’s the one that i was so addicted to when i was at the church
G: I was playing this one on Pogo.com
G: and it’s a solitare game.
G: Like a bunch of cards are laid out, some facing up some facing down
G: and you have a stack and say it’s a 7 so you can pick a 6 or an 8 off the board….
G: and you try to keep going as much as you can 8, 9 10…
G: which I’ve played just *that* solitare but then this one has different gems on the cards instead of suits & with each one you click it goes onto the grid like Big Kahuna
G: and then you play it like that where you try to clear them all off. And you get so many tries based on how many cards you had left on the deck when you clear the board. It’s much less complicated than it sounds!
J: sounds quite addictive!
J: zoolander is on
G: what channel?]
J: comedy i think
J: yeah, comedy
G: k, well this is still on but I know what to switch to
J: oh yeah… sorry about your [Football Team]
G: :-p
G: they sucked ass
G: OMG, Vince has been watching this whole movie with me
G: and it’s the end…she just got to Paris….
G: and her Blackberry starts going off and Vince is downstairs getting a drink
G: “What’s that noise?”
G: “Can you hear that beeping?”
G: “G?”
J: LOL!!!
G: yeah, the same effing beeping that’s been going on through THIS WHOLE MOVIE
G: that we’ve SEEN 50 times
G: I mean he’s watched it several times with me. He likes it
J: i don’t think Bob has watched it with me or not. i can’t remember.
G: I mean I don’t think he gets into the shoes and clothes like we do but he likes it
G: when it started he asked me who Emily Blunt was
G: and I gave him a dirty look.
G: “What’s that look for?”
G: SERIOUSLY?
J: *rolls eyes*
G: and I KNOW I’ve told him exactly who she is
J: oh, my daddy bought me a black jack. it’s actually my christmas present so no spoiled brat comment
G: ok
J: and, lucky for me, it came with a free blue tooth.
G: oh good, you’ll look really kewl
J: but I solemly swear to only use it in my car and never wear it out in public.
J: oh, have you seen Pioneer Woman’s new puppy? I am IN LOVE!
G: I know

G: Did I tell you about [little girl] & Boy Cat?
J: no
G: well, Friday night the boys slept over and Saturday she came with [Friend] to pick them up.
G: Well, she always goes right for him
G: and she got him and she’s just lugging him all around.
G: and he’s tolerant of it
G: although she had one hand at the base of his tail and it looked like she had her thumb up his butt and we were LOLing saying that’s why he was so good
G: [Friend] asked if we wanted to go to [cafe] and get cocoa & coffee and she asks if Boy Cat can come too. I say, “Oh, you don’t need a kitten, you need a purse dog!”
G: she thought that was a GREAT idea. LOL

J: i’m trying to decide exactly what kind of dog i’m looking for
J: perhaps this one?
G: *rolls eyes*
J: LOL! Look at the bottom of this page
G: aw, sh*t! I really wanted a MINIATURE pincher

[G Tells two funny stories about guy that wanted to date J]

G: THAT’S it, he can have a web site.
G: and we’ll video his stories.
J: yeah! they’d be even funnier seeing him tell them
G: yeah, especially with him cracking up
G: and he’s even fatter than before.
J: oh, lord
G: we were singing “Fat Guy in Little Coat” to him today
G: because he broke his key off on his suburban and couldn’t get in so he had to wear one of [friends]’s
J: what is he doing now?
G: he um….I’m not sure. Something in medical sales I think?
G: it’s something medical. and he’s always in the clinic
G: I know he was doing restaurant sales before. So I’m guessing this is medical
G: I was actually told once…by [lady] she’s p/t at the clinic. But I don’t remember.
G: oh you know he bought that boat that was for sale outside your apt. there? he’s already sold it.
J: he’s something else

J: wow. it’s 19 degrees here
J: windchill between 5-10

J: well, i think i’m going to sleep.
J: i’ve been up for 12 hours and i’m a little tired.
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow!
G: wow, you’re crazy.
G: Good night
J: yeah, i know.
J: oh, i was ready to go to bed last night at 10.
J: Bob had to make me stay up.
G: LOL
J: i know. he though it was funny that he was telling me to stay up.
J: nite!
G: good night

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