October 26th, 2009
J: can you hear their words?
G: on HIMYM?
J: yes
G: yes
J: i’m only getting music and people laughing
G: well it’s a rerun anyway
J: yeah
G: Vince had someone add him on facebook from high school and she’s a grandmother….someone HIS age
J: no way.
G: Boy1 is earing tidy whities today
G: that’s all
G: and there’s like cheeto stains & chocolate stains on them
G: (and yes, I’m sure it’s chocolate, he was just eating a snickers fun size bar)
J: LOL! I was going to ask if you were sure it was chocolate!
G: it’s on the front too
G: I won’t look closely at the back
G: Boy1 is trying to get me to find “that Elvis song”
J: oh well how could you not do that quickly????
G: I give up
G: I think it’s something his crackhead music teacher made up
G: my stupid iTunes won’t download the stuff I bought on my phone
G: Boy1 just had to re-watch the Glee “Bust a Move” and “Sweet Caroline”
J: i thought about him when i saw that
G: I love this show on Bravo with the 3 LA real estate douchebag guys
J: oh i do too. is that on?
G: yes……the new one is on at 9
G: It makes Vince cringe almost as much as the Toddlers & Tiaras
G: the homeowners getting mad because they think their houses are worth more than any other house in the neighborhood
J: so your boyfriend is #1 on iTunes, huh?
G: he’s #1 on Billboard too
Popularity: 1% [?]
October 25, 2009
G: did you get my message or are you ignoring me?
J: no, i never got a message. did you get mine?
G: no!
J: i sent one last night telling you that the kitty was going to kitty foster care if she didn’t mind her p’s and q’s!
G: yes, I did get that
G: and I replied to it a bit ago
J: never got that
G: about how I would send Dog with her
G: because she tore the phone cord up that goes to the Wifi modem
G: Vince fixed it but then when *I* wanted to get online it all stopped working
J: oh no!
J: so [J's cat] fell into the bathtub full of bleach water a bit ago.
G: whoops!!!!!
J: yeah. freaked me out ’cause i was afraid she drank some of it.
J: but she seems to be fine
G: ah, she’s got 8 lives left anyway
J: and i tried to call the ACPCA poision control line and they wanted $60 to tell me what to do!
G: she was probably trying to get out of there so damn fast she didn’t get any
G: maybe you should just give her another bath or two to get it off her coat though
J: yeah, Bob did while i was calling the ASPCA!
G: okay, when my wifi didn’t work the last bit, Vince’s did
G: so I went in the kitchen to get closer to the wif
G: and now his doesn’t work
G: so he’s getting closer to the wifi than I am
G: if I disappear I will be having a big fight and will be back shortly
J: LOL. okay!
G: one of Boy1’s annoying friends moved away this year
G: but he will move back here next year
G: and he called my cell phone to talk to Boy1….he’s back in town for the w/e
G: and Boy1 tries to tell me that [annoying friend]’s voice has gotten deeper too
G: “Really? Because I thought it was a woman when he called!” LOL. He says I am being mean & teasing but (for once) I am not
J: LOL!
G: oh man, I forgot I had set my stupid iTunes acct. to take out of my Paypal
G: I had money in there, I was going to buy a necklace on Etsy. But now I only have 1/2 the money for it
J: ugh oh!
J: it goes fast
G: yeah
G: Boy1 is wearing boxers, a white undershirt and these loafers that look like slippers. I told him he looks like an old man
J: so i hate the new facebook format
G: its annoying
G: wanna see my brother’s 130 photos from Peru?
J: um… sure?
G: LOL
G: You don’t have to……….but they’re cool
G: [link removed]
G: the slideshow keeps getting stuck on me
J: what was he doing in Peru? just for fun?
G: yes
J: i’m afraid i’m too lazy to go to Peru! Looks like a lot of walking if you ask me
G: yes, they walked for 3 days
G: you can take the train to Machu Pichu but they decided to walk
G: (or at least when my mom went she took the train)
J: yeah, i think i’d take the train!
J: those pics are awesome. i made Bob look at some of them.
G: see? aren’t you glad?
G: I am going to take a very long, very hot bath. I will be back later.
J: Okay. i think i might do the same.
Popularity: 1% [?]
October 14, 2009
J: Hello????
G: hello
J: are you watching Mercy and yelling at the boys?
G: yep, you know my whole routine don’t you?
J: LOL
G: OMG, I almost had a complete brain fart. “What’s on at 8pm on Wednesdays that I watch?”
G: I am getting alzheimer’s. I’m sure of it.
J: um… GLEE!!!
G: just note it now.
J: oh, i had a dream the other night i was doing the Single Ladies dance.
G: LOL. Awesome.
J: yeah. i was pretty good!
G: speaking of dreams, have you seen this? http://www.thisman.org/history.htm
J: okay. he freaks me out and i’m pretty sure i’m going to have nightmares about him tonight.
G: well then you can join the club
G: Boy1 has never seen him either
G: bummer. I want to know someone who has seen him
G: have I mentioned my feelings for Algebra?
J: you don’t have to. i’m sure i have the same feelings!
G: yeah but you haven’t spent hours on it the last few days. My head almost exploded last night
G: 2 worksheets front & back of stuff
G: fulll pages
G: and then the teacher today says, “oh yeah we went over those in class.” So they weren’t graded??? You didn’t pore over every answer????
G: OMG, Toddlers & Tiaras!
G: the mom is saying how her daughter was ugly when she was born & looked like she had Downs Syndrome.
J: i’m having to record it
G: oh lordy, this mom has her daughter’s glamour shot photo on a shirt.
J: that screams classy
G: she’s got these…….like rhinestone things on her face. Like beauty marks by her eyes.
G: the mom does
G: the same mom who thought her daughter was ugly
G: not that she’s that cute now.
G: this one girl is just gorgeous. she has her dad’s coloring (Hawaiian) but then with no makeup she looks just like her mom yet her mom is not attractive at all. I don’t understand these women……..like this one………not a stitch of makeup, looks like she hasn’t had a haircut in years and yet your daughter is wearing a pound of makeup, a pound of hairspray.
J: it makes me so sad when Bob puts my [kitty] outside for the night.
G: aww. she has to go outside????
J: well, just in the livingroom, but still
G: *rolls eyes*
G: [Toddlers & Tiaras] oh my. this Oriental girl is doing Annie for her talent and wearing the Annie wig.
G: she doesn’t want to……”it’s not my color” Yeah, listen to the 7 year old. She makes sense. you’ve never seen an Oriental person with curly short red hair!
J: LOL!
G: she’s not a terrible singer either.
G: but she looked ridiculous
Popularity: 4% [?]
October 8, 2009
G: Dog is talking to me, but I don’t know what she’s saying.
J: lol!
G: I thought it was “the ball went under the couch, get off your ass and get it!” (again)
G: but then she brought me the ball
J: LOL@@@
G: so I wonder if the swine flu comes on all of a sudden like the regular flu or comes on very very very slowly.
G: I’m achy
G: and tired
G: and my throat hurts
G: which I’m pretty certain with my medical degree that it’s just the weird way I get allergies
G: but I want it to stop
J: hmmm… since you’re the doctor i won’t try to get in your way
G: have you by any chance seen this SuperFetch show on TLC?
G: LOL.
J: no. i haven’t hear about it. what is it?
G: well it’s this Zak George who I have been a fan of for a long time. He goes around and does shows with his border collies. He’s been on Letterman & stuff.
G: but this show isn’t the conventional dog training or obedience
G: it’s basically “I want to teach my dog a stupid trick, can you help?”
G: like how to pour a draught beer, how to bowl, how to get my money out of my wallet & pay after I got my manicure
J: well that sounds like fun
J: okay. this stupid tornado better just move on out of town before The Office starts!
G: oh…..LOL………should I be worried?
G: I did get a tornado watch e-mail
J: they are showing the weather. “we’re not seeing anything alarming…” we’re looking at a black sky.
J: oh they said something about [town in far away state]
J: sirens are going off in downtown [town next to J]
J: so if i disappear you know i’m in the hall closet!
G: well keep me updated
G: I’m on [semi-local station] for the moment
G: it looks like it’s going north of both of us. the bad part
G: Boy2 is still at football……..did I say that already? I can’t chat with two people at once.
J: no you didn’t tell me that
J: ummm… they are talking about my roads…
G: oh,
G: well that’s not good
J: i told Bob earlier that i didn’t like that it was so warm outside because of the storm potential
G: it’s not even doing anything here. sprinkly barely
G: and still and crickets chirping
G: you know, I complain about commercials being SO LOUD. [semi-local station] does not do that. It’s much better.
G: I’m glad I’m following the [local station] weather on Twitter. Tornado watch until Midnight for eastern [state to the west] Check the blog for more details. about 3 hours ago from web
G: are you in the closet?
G: you could’ve at least taken your phone and IM’d me from there.
J: LOL!
J: i was a little scared there for a minute!
J: i think we’re safe now, though.
G: from the radar on their site it really looks like it’s north of you
G: now it’s pouring & windy
G: and Boy2 still isn’t home
J: yeah, it’s raining pretty hard right now.
G: I’m turning into my mother…..the worry wart
J: what are you worried about?!
G: oh just Boy2 being home. he’s home now
J: okay. good.
G: I mean his practice ended in [town 12 miles away] an hour ago
G: and they just pulled in
G: I didn’t talk to [the carpool mom]. Since it was downpouring
G: great. my satellite is going to go out.
G: I have some channels coming in but not my NBCs
J: of course!
G: whoops, I just shushed Vince
G: LOL
G: he was talking over Dwight though.
J: they are now showing something that tells us how close we were to a tornado. WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!
G: so does that mean you missed the opening [of the Office]?
J: \YES
J: they are still showing the weather
G: Oh assholes!!!!!!!!!!!
G: well I just lost it too
G: @#$@#
J: how kind of them… they are going to reair The Office at 1:05 a.m. on Saturday morning.]
G: lovely
G: perfect timing
G: I’m debating on staying up til 11 to watch it
J: yay. we got it
J: only missed 8 minutes
J: you still there???
G: yes
G: it’s calmed down. I didn’t realize we were under a tornado WARNING in [G’s town] Ignorance is Bliss.
G: expires at 8:30
J: LOL are you watching this?
G: yes
J: are you crying?
G: no
J: aww… that was so sweet
G: I came upstairs to lay down in the dark quiet and it was lovely for 30 whole seconds
G: until Vince followed and Avery needs help cleaning the coffee pot
J: lol… i know… i always love being in my room until you know who comes in and starts snoring
G: I just didn’t want to hear Jay Leno. He was annoying & loud
G: not to mention NOT funny
J: but gerard butler is so hawt
G: meh
G: now we have a real emergency. we can’t find the remote. so everyone out of bed, strip the bed, throw stuff everywhere
G: and Cat1 is walking across the room with my bra in her mouth
J: LOL!!!
G: now we’re hearing stories on CNN about Psycho Sam. Lovely bedtime story.
G: I changed it. I got mad.
G: Vince says, “Yeah, did you hear about that?”
G: No. I did not. And I do not want to. With the name Psycho Sam, this can’t turn out well though.
G: “So you did hear?” NO! LA LA LA LA LA
J: who is Psycho Sam?
G: I don’t know
J: OH
J: gotcah!
J: sorry
G: I have a feeling he did not do something very nice
J: yeah, sounds like it
G: I believe the headline mentioned the word Horror
G: unless there were cute puppies & kittens in no harm behind the door that the police discovered, I just don’t think I want to hear it. Thanks.
G: you know, I do say I don’t watch the news b/c I don’t want to hear it.
G: but the other night at football [friend]’s sister and her stoner/drunk boyfriend were sitting next to us.
G: and she didn’t know what H1N1 was
G: and something else. Or someone……..I can’t remember, it would be like Jon Gosselin or something. LIke you can’t even turn on the TV and not know.
G: wouldn’t that be nice? to really not know any of that existed?
J: could you imagine?
G: I know. crazy.
J: do/did you watch Young & the Restless?
G: no
G: I mean I know who some of those people are but I’ve never watched it
G: oh, woohoo!!! my boyfriend’s new CD is already downloading to my iTunes
J: yay!
J: was he on oprah today?
G: no, it’s tomorrow
G: he e-mailed me and told me even
J: how nice of him!\
G: he also told me I can order his official 2010 calendar
G: I’m gonna do a Boy2. Put it on repeat and play it all night
J: i’m sure Vince will appreciate that!
J: i’m going to have to go to sleep
G: ok, good night
J: [J’s cat] is zonked out beside me
J: she’s so cute
G: Fartina is next to me but she’s just waiting for me to throw her rubber band
J: lol
J: ok nite!
Popularity: 1% [?]
October 7th, 2009
J: howdy!
G: hey
J: what’s going on?
G: watching Mercy. telling people to stop messing around
G: getting ready to write a review of my rug on Overstock.com
J: your rug?
G: yes, my rug. The rug…..on my floor.
J: well i know, but why are you writing a review?
G: because it says it is red and it’s not
J: your boyfriend is going to be on Oprah. but i know you know that but i just like to tell you things that you already know so that you won’t forget that you know.
G: of course I do. LOL.
G: and then Tuesday he’s on Today
G: OMG, I just had a heart attack. Seriously…….a heart attack
J: oh my… did you have any warning???
J: did your arm go numb or anything???
G: LOL……..Okay, not a real heart attack……a child induced one.
J: LOL
G: Boy2 got his haircut yesterday
G: and he’s been driving me nuts about his hair
G: he either wants it really long or buzz cut. He can’t decide.
G: but I told her leave it long for now. and she did and it looks great
G: and tomorrow are school pictures
G: and he just came down the stairs and was acting suspiciously
G: trying to draw attention to something else
G: and his hair in the front was completely gone in one spot.
G: it looked like it was cut to thes calp
J: OH NO!!!
G: but he had acutally been slathering on my Honey HEEL lotion
J: lol!!!
G: and it was up into his hair and just made it LOOK like it was gone in that spot because in the one spot it was slicked back
J: did he do that on purpose to freak you out or was he just being a boy?
G: I don’t think he realized it made his hair look cut
G: you know how you hear guys like Jim Carrey interviewed and they say how when they were kids they made faces in the mirror all the time? that’s Boy2. I can’t even get his hair dried. he’s non-stop admiring himself, making faces, and singing songs
J: i’m telling you… he’s destined for greatness. and i’m being 100% sincere.
G: Dog likes Nerds
G: the candy not real dorks
J: oh man… nerds sound so good!
J: i love them
G: mine are Grape & Strawberry
J: my toes are cold
G: my boob is cold!
G: I just was drinking my iced tea
G: and the ice stuck and then all tumbled down at once and the tea all went all down the left side of my shirt
G: really really cold
J: i bet that was an awesome sensation!
G: I yelped for sure.
J: okay. i can’t declaw kitty.
J: i just read an article and just can’t do it.
G: I know. I should do it too and I just can’t.
G: my new chair is already ruined. too.
J: we could order some of these http://www.softpaws.com/
G: yeah, Drs. Foster & Smith have those but they’re not cheap and you have to keep reapplying them and I know I wouldn’t
J: looks all kinds of complicated
G: this looks fun: http://www.softpaws.com/vetsandgroomers.html
J: good luck with that!
G: Toddlers & Tiaras is on!
J: sorry.
J: i’m watching Tropic Thunder
J: because i loved it so much the first time i saw it
G: that’s not even a good movie.
J: yes i know.
G: TODDLERS & TIARAS……..this woman is nuts. she said “turd in a punch bowl”
J: and now i’m watching it again.
G: and is crazy
G: this lady gave her kid Mtn. Dew and then says “she’s so hyper. I don’t know why.”
G: and another one has this annoying kid with severe ADHD and she doesn’t give her her pills when she’s competing
J: i’m addicted to a new game… i need a life…
G: sounds like it
J: i’m going to turn in for now
J: LOL
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow. Nite!
G: okay, good night
G: tomorrow is the wedding!
G: I’m so excited!!!!!!!
J: i know! me too!!!
G: I hope I don’t cry!
Popularity: 1% [?]
October 6, 2009
G: Hola!
J: Hola! Como esta?
G: Si!
G: I took French.
J: LOL!!!
G: We were just at [Mexican Restaurant] though. I should’ve learned something
J: you should have
J: i wish we had mexican for lunch. i made breakfast for dinner and now i feel all greasy from the bacon.
G: ugh,
G: Boy2 had a football game and I’m Sonic’d out
G: so we went for Mexican. My mom suggested it
G: Have I mentioned I hate Windows Vista????
J: not lately.
G: it won’t even open old CD Roms I’ve burned
J: have i mentioned how i hate for my cat to climb in my box springs?
G: yes, that you have
J: so i’m not very happy with my husband…
G: uh oh
J: i should be used to this by now, but!!!
G: LOL
J: so i cooked and all he did was make more pancake mix.
G: I’m not happy with him either. We pass him like 3 times a week and he never waves at us.
J: and he got the powder ALL over the place
J: and left it there.
J: then i asked him if he would clean up the mess and all the dishes.
J: after he ate he went straight to his man room.
J: if he thinks he’s going to get to “fool around” tonight he is greatly mistaken!!!
G: Ugh. Vince will say ” go ahead and I’ll get the dishes” and then dhe DOESN”T FINISH THEM
G: damn straight!!
G: I can’t copy these files to my computer because I can’t open them in the Windows Explorer
G: Boy1 wanted to check his facebook
G: and one of his friends wrote this to another one of his friends. How long has school been in session, like 7 weeks???
G: hey whatsup, you might not see me at school cause we moved to st. louis for a year. I’ll be back in 8th grade, bu for 7th im in st. louis! later.
G: I like the “might not”
J: LOL
G: I’m glad it’s not just Boy1. I question his intelligence most days. Hormones make you stupid
J: rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr657655r0000000000000000000000000000003w e3sqxz
J: 3Q
J: someone was laying on the keyboard
G: Yeah mmmhmmmmm
G: Boy1 left me to put songs on his iPod
G: and I’m going through all these old CD Roms of MP3s
G: I’m gonna add some Barney songs
J: lol
J: you should
J: can you give me one good reason why the TV would need to be on in the living room if i’m in the bedroom and he’s in the man room????
G: you know how my brother Forrest Gump has met all this famous people?
G: well his ex-girlfriend has surpassed him
J: no way
G: one she’s met Martin Sheen
G: who WAS the president on West Wing of course
G: and in my mom’s opinion the best president ever
G: and today’s photo is THE Dalai Lama!!!
J: no way
J: why can’t i meet cool people like that?
G: I know
G: get a better job I guess
G: can you see it? [link removed]
J: i totally need a new job
J: a cool job
J: do you ever watch Rachel Zoe?
G: yes
J: i want a cool job like that
G: well good luck
J: yeah.
G: especially in [state]
J: you don’t know where i can get some cheap baby shower invitations do ya?
G: uhhhh
G: no
G: Walmart?
G: LOL
J: yeah, that’s probably where they’ll come from.
J: i had asked Bob to make me some but he’s backed out.
G: cuz he has better things to do?
G: Boy1 is wanting me to find Ghost Riders in the Sky
G: to his iPod
G: and so I’m going over all these million CDs with the MP3 files
J: oh lord!
J: that will take you all night!
Popularity: 1% [?]
October 4th, 2009
G: helloooooooooooooooooooo
J: hey!
G: 30 minutes until “My Monkey Baby” is on!
J: i knew there was something coming on tonight
G: well and then the Seinfeld reunion on Curb Your Enthusiasm
G: I hope that’s it. I set the DVR for those two things.
J: yeah, that’s what Bob is in the living room waiting for
G: or is that on at 8 and the Monkey Baby on at 9?
J: there’s an I Love Lucy marathon on and i’m going to have a hard time turning it off!
G: no, MB is 8pm. LOL.
G: well those are all reruns!
G: sorry, I decided to go shower before the big shows start
G: my mother-in-law, God love her, gave me a bag of the mini-dark Reese’s cups.
G: it’s worse than crack. Not that I know what crack is like, but I can say no to crack.
J: mmmmmm
J: i haven’t had the dark reeses. and i want some chocolate right now.
G: well if you were here I would give you the rest of the bag
G: Vince’s bought me a couple packs of them before. The dark chocolate is not the best tasting IMHO.
G: it’s a little greasy
G: but for some reason these mini ones I can’t stop eating.
G: oh man, one of the Hoarders shows was on TLC just now
G: We watched some yesterday and cleaned out Boy1’s whole room. LOL
G: they just showed a living room though and the After almost gave me an anxiety attack of “TOO MUCH STUFF”
J: UGH!
J: okay. so i can’t watch the Monkey Baby show!
G: *sigh*
J: there’s too much stuff being recorded and i can’t watch another channel.
J: that’s retarded
G: that’s not right
J: i know.
J: if i knew for sure that Desperate Housewives would be On Demand i’d switch over
G: it might be on ABC.com
G: tomorrow
G: better than a monkey pet? a monkey pet in a pink dress & lipstick
J: oh. i’m pissed at F21.
G: uhoh
J: i bought a sweater there yesterday and at church someone told me there was a hole in it.
J: they wouldn’t let me exchange it because i took the tags off.
J: and i assume the hole was there when i got it.
G: ugh, that sucks
G: Vince says this is disturbing
G: and Boy1 says “What is disturbing about this????”
J: is it even legal to have a monkey as a pet, much less your baby????
G: yes
G: it is legal in almost every state
G: there are 15,000 living as pets in America
G: Boy1 also says “This is why I want a dog”
G: Vince wants to know when one is going to throw poop.
J: oh wow.
J: i am recording it at 11
G: yay
G: I may have to rewatch it with you when you do because Boy1 won’t stop talking
J: lol
G: okay, I swear I won’t ruin it all but this lady just told the monkey he had to wear his hoodie (over other clothes) but if he got in the car & got hot he could take it off then.
J: she has some stylin’ clothes
G: are you on it now??
J: yeah. i’m watching during commercials
G: this is awesome.
J: i think these monkey baby people are CRAZY
J: i’m sure you’ve seen this but OMG!!!
G: yes, ick. especially the white neck. WTH?
G: Vince says, “I can’t believe we’re watching this!”
G: those dogs are going to eat that monkey
G: OMG, the I’m Obsessed with my pet that was coming on next!!!!!!!
G: I am having to record that too
J: so Kitty got inside my box springs.
G: OMG!
J: yep. the lining came loose at the foot of the bed and i kept hearing her pick at something
J: so i felt down there and could feel her claws sticking out up at the head of the bed
G: lol
J: i’m tired so i’m going to close my eyes.
J: i’ll talk to you tomorrow.
G: good night
Popularity: 1% [?]
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